Relationship with Past Au Pairs

[Anonymous]

What's your relationship like with your past au pairs?

We have 1 from 2 years ago, that communication went to fizzling out to completely nonresponsive. We had a close relationship with her, and we were all very upset when the year ended.

Our most recent au pair is leaving after 2 years. We (the parents) didn't have a close relationship with her, but she was very close to the kids. I hope I can keep up the communication for the kids' benefit. With the first one not responding, they're worried about our most recent one doing the same. I'm worried this will impact how they welcome and bond with subsequent au pairs.

[Anonymous]

I have had mixed communication with my old au pairs, from nothing, to constant whatsapp texts. I think it depends on your relationship and their personality.

Most try to skype and chat with my kids a couple of times in the year or so after they leave, but now, for some of them, it's maybe 3-4 times a year I'll get a text from them.

One has come back several times to visit.
One has come back once to visit.
The others not.

It just varies.
I send christmas cards and birthday cards. Sometimes I'll get one back, but often not.

[Anonymous]

we talk to all 5 every holiday and birthday of theirs or kids.

I whatsapp with all of them a couple times a month, DH does not stay in contact like that (i would think it would be weird if he did, to be honest)

actually 2 of them want to come back next year to do another tour with us (it has been two years for both)....kind of awkward, actually!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have had mixed communication with my old au pairs, from nothing, to constant whatsapp texts. I think it depends on your relationship and their personality.

Most try to skype and chat with my kids a couple of times in the year or so after they leave, but now, for some of them, it's maybe 3-4 times a year I'll get a text from them.

One has come back several times to visit.
One has come back once to visit.
The others not.

It just varies.
I send christmas cards and birthday cards. Sometimes I'll get one back, but often not.

The card thing is really American. Many countries don't have that habit of sending cards for birthdays or Xmas etc.
They use emails, calls etc. So I wouldn't be upset about a card if I were you.

[Anonymous]

I have been an Au Pair several times (different countries) and only kept in touch with one family (whom I still visit every time I go to their city).

I have tried to keep in touch with the other families, sometimes got a few emails and then nothing, and some other nothing at all. These are people who told me they loved me like a family member, hugged me etc, and then nothing ...
I guess they were nice to me as long as I was doing something for their family. They paid for a service and when I was gone the relationship stopped.
I see the children grow up on FB. Most of them were small and don't even remember me. This can be such an ungrateful job sadly.

[Anonymous]

Tried to keep in contact with all of them (12 years of APs).

AP#1 & #7 visited last year.

We've seen many of them on our travels to Europe; often, they would meet us in a nearby country or city.

Sadly, lost contact with some, including one who was very close to our family. That's the way it goes.

[Anonymous]

We whatsapp and facetime regularly with our first AP. Our second AP left the country and never contacted us---and the feeling was kind of mutual. Our current AP is wonderful and we have a strong desire to remain in contact with her.