encouraging punctuality

[Anonymous]

So our AP has been here about 6 weeks. Morning start time is 8:15 am, when our 2nd grader is getting ready for school. AP is supposed to help DC do morning checklist and get DC to school (around 9 am). I am typically still home until around 8:30, but I am getting ready for work during that time and do rely on AP to keep things moving.

AP has shown up late for work around 5-7 times, so on average more approximately once per week. On these occasions, he is still asleep and has to be woken. Like REALLY asleep such that we may have to go into his room to rouse him. Yelling through the door and knocking is nor enough. No, he does not sleep with earplugs. He has his phone as an alarm and a second alarm clock we provided. Also, his English is weak, and we have some difficulty communicating (often not sure he fully understands what we say).

We do like him, but I am not sure how to improve this problem. Suggestions?

[Anonymous]

I shedule ours to start 15 min before we really need them. If they are habitually late I’d have a sit down about it because that’s not acceptable.

[Anonymous]

Time for a reset conversation. If you're having to wake him up that makes your life harder, not easier. Working mornings is part of his job. If he can't do it, he needs to go.

That's harsh but it doesn't sound like this is a language issue. It's a commitment issue.

Also I'd bump back his start time, like PP said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's harsh but it doesn't sound like this is a language issue. It's a commitment issue.

+1
Showing up late once a week is not a language issue (unless he is always late on a certain day of the week, in that case make sure that he doesn't think he starts late on that day for any reason).

Reset conversation.
Make sure he has a written schedule.
After your reset conversation send him an email and sum up what you talked about and what you agreed to. Not necessarily to get it all in writing but to give him the chance to read through it again and run it through google translate or such.

[Anonymous]

Sorry about this OP. It's not supposed to be this way. As stated by PP, having to wake up your AP is making your life harder, not easier. He might need to go to bed earlier.

Our APs start times were much earlier ~ 6:45 AM and the best thing about having an AP was not having to worry about them being late or calling in sick. Maybe once every other month, I might have had to knock on the AP's door. Worst case.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP, who suggested a reset conversation. But given that he is a heavy sleeper, I also suggest getting him this:

https://www.amazon.com/Sonic-Alert-SBB500SS-Extra-Loud-Flashing/dp/B000OOWZUK

[Anonymous]

Does he have a curfew?

I'd threaten to start one if he can't get up on time. He needs a solid consequence for being irresponsible to alter his behavior. Loop in your LCC.

[Anonymous]

Timeliness is one my priorities for an AP (or for any caregiver, nanny, co-op,etc.). Have the reset meeting. Let him know that if he's late X many more times, you will need to go to rematch. We have pretty busy mornings and it would frustrate me endlessly if I had to wake an AP. Our APs have always started on time or even early, when they can. And we respect their time by ending their shifts on time (or early, when possible).

[Anonymous]

I have to say, in 6 years of having au pairs (including a rematch) we have had an au pair show up to work late exactly once. There's just no excuse to be late when all you have to do is walk upstairs / downstairs.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for feedback. I am an experienced host parent-- this is my 7th year-- and this is a new problem for me. We have discussed the lateness each time it happens in the moment, but we do need to have a more formal sit-down. There are a couple of other things that we need to tighten up. The thing about the lateness is that he is sleeping through alarms, so I am just baffled by it. It happened again yesterday, btw, so that's the one for this week. Hopefully the only one for this week.

We do have a curfew (midnight before work days), but he doesn't go out before work typically. Curfew isn't the issue. He's almost always home and going up to his room by 9 pm. I don't know what time he goes to sleep. I guess I should ask. I have never had to tell and AP what time they should go to sleep, and I don't want to do that. And starting him earlier doesn't help me on the days when he oversleeps. It just means he requires waking at a different time.

An additional fact here is that our house is being renovated, and the construction workers and on site and making fairly significant noise by 7:15 am every day. I don't know how he sleeps through it, but he does. . .

I could try the alarm. I don't know. I think I will also ask the LCC to talk with him about this, even though our LCC is fairly useless. Can't hurt to mention it to her. I hate to go into rematch over this, as he's a nice kid who does well in other ways. And I have never been through a rematch so far, so I guess I fear it a little.

[Anonymous]

Maybe one of those alarms that you put under your pillow and it vibrates?

[Anonymous]

Ask him to wear pj pants with a pocket, then have his phone in his pocket. I did that with a teenage charge, buzzed him at wake-up, worked like a charm!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for feedback. I am an experienced host parent-- this is my 7th year-- and this is a new problem for me. We have discussed the lateness each time it happens in the moment, but we do need to have a more formal sit-down. There are a couple of other things that we need to tighten up. The thing about the lateness is that he is sleeping through alarms, so I am just baffled by it. It happened again yesterday, btw, so that's the one for this week. Hopefully the only one for this week.

We do have a curfew (midnight before work days), but he doesn't go out before work typically. Curfew isn't the issue. He's almost always home and going up to his room by 9 pm. I don't know what time he goes to sleep. I guess I should ask. I have never had to tell and AP what time they should go to sleep, and I don't want to do that. And starting him earlier doesn't help me on the days when he oversleeps. It just means he requires waking at a different time.

An additional fact here is that our house is being renovated, and the construction workers and on site and making fairly significant noise by 7:15 am every day. I don't know how he sleeps through it, but he does. . .

I could try the alarm. I don't know. I think I will also ask the LCC to talk with him about this, even though our LCC is fairly useless. Can't hurt to mention it to her. I hate to go into rematch over this, as he's a nice kid who does well in other ways. And I have never been through a rematch so far, so I guess I fear it a little.

It's not your job to get him an alarm, or wake him up. That's his job. So have a meeting, stat. Share that you don't want to rematch but he's failing at a key part of his job. Maybe he doesn't understand how important it is that he's on time? Clue him in, give him a warning that it can't happen again, cc him on an email with the LCC. A scare tactic may work wonders here.

[Anonymous]

Has he been in the country since the summer? I could see this happening if he was still jet-lagged, but otherwise ... what does he say about it? Has he always had this problem?

[Anonymous]

OP back again. This problem has persisted, approximately once a week since AP arrived in September. We have talked about it numerous times. I had the LCC talk with him about it. He claims to be using 4 alarms, which he says he hears but then falls back to sleep.

It happened again this morning, and I think I've had it. We just had a really serious talk just last Thursday, and he promised it would never happen again. Foolish me, I was thinking he was really committed this time. . . I lost my temper with him, which I have never done in 7 years of hosting.

I never thought I would need to rematch over something like this. I am curious what the rematch doc description will say. Reasons for rematch: mismatch in childcare expectations. Yeah, we expect him to get himself up and come to work, and he expects to sleep in until we physically come wake him up.

I am sad because my kids really like him.