Unpaid leave

[Anonymous]

Our contract provides for 2 weeks of vacation-- one chosen by us and one by our nanny. We end up taking probably close to 2 weeks over the course of the year for vacations/holidays, so she gets some extra paid days then. However, she is increasingly taking leave without pay-- she took her first week (paid) vacation in February, did another one in March, and is about to go on a third. We generally like her, and I'm not eager to replace her, but it is hard to find coverage for all these trips.

Anyone have a similar situation? Have you told your nanny she just can't go on vacation? We are on our third year with her, and it seems like at least once a year there is an international family emergency that causes her to travel home-- which we've been sensitive to, but I'm beginning to feel she's taking advantage of us-- which I know is probably my own fault for not setting expectations. Each year it's getting worse with her taking more and more vacation time.

[Anonymous]

Hi there! Fellow nanny here. I was born in Guatemala and moved to the US when I was 5. In the last decade I have gone back to my country FOUR TIMES! and one time it was an emergency because my father passed away. Let me tell you, it is not your fault that you’re nanny is this way. It is her, not you. Maybe even if you wouldnt have said yes to all that time off , she might have still gone. And even if you say no to her taking so much time off, again, she still might not listen. I know how hard it is to replace a nanny, but I think you should give her an ultimatum. 3 weeks in 7 months? That’s a lot. Tell her that if she needs to take a 4th week of this year, you will start looking for a replacement because it is just too hard to keep having to look for someone to fill in for her. Even when I tell my Employer I am going on vacation months in advance, she still finds it hard to find back up care. Maybe she does have family emergencies, but maybe she should find an employer who is a SAHM or something since she likes to take a lot of time off.

[Anonymous]

I think you just have to say "sorry, but we can't accommodate any more unpaid leave." And stick by it. Sorry, OP--I know it's stressful!

[Anonymous]

Yes, she is taking advantage of you. Having a nanny is supposed to make your life easier and provide your children with consistent care. Back-up care is not that. Does she take more than a week for the international trips? What was the nature of the emergency? If there are too many tugs to go home that she can't avoid, she needs to find a different job.

[Anonymous]

Was the March vacation her second paid week? Do you accrue vacation time? Is the July trip another "emergency" or the week you chose?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was the March vacation her second paid week? Do you accrue vacation time? Is the July trip another "emergency" or the week you chose?

Her second paid week will be the week we choose-- so, our vacation that she will be paid for (likely the week around Christmas). Only one trip was for a family event, the rest are vacations. This is our first nanny so I'm just not really sure what is within the range of normal for allowing unpaid leave. All told, this means she probably gets 5 weeks of vacation this year (3 of her choosing and 2 of our choosing).

[Anonymous]

You say, "we need someone who doesn't take more vacation time than we provide in our contract. I understand if you need more time than that, but then we're not a match anymore."

Or, you figure out more easily-accessed back-up plans.

Or, you give her more vacation time in lieu of a raise next year.

Unless you're giving her tons of notice of when your vacations will be, one week at her discretion per year is not a lot of vacation time. I know it's standard, but it's also a big reason nannies burn out on these jobs. Imagine literally never being able to go to a family event cross-country (much less internationally) because you are always on your boss's schedule except for one week a year.

[Anonymous]

Firstly, our nanny would not be able to take a week off in February because she wouldn't have accrued a week of time off yet at that time of year.

Secondly, nobody has emergencies every year.

I'd hire someone else.

[Anonymous]

Sounds to me like your Nanny is taking her job for granted.

She is not acting responsible + I think she is simply causing you more stress than she is worth.

You can always talk to her about things, but she could feel resentful toward you.

Honestly your best option here is to just find a brand-new Nanny.
And address any time off during the interview.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

One week a year is really not enough not just for nannies, but other jobs as well.

[Anonymous]

Goodness three weeks is more time off than DH and I get!

[Anonymous]

Yep, you need to set it straight OP. Not a pleasant task, but necessary.

"Nanny, I'd like to sit down on Friday and discuss your vacation plans, overall job satisfaction, etc... We can put a show on for the kids so we have a few minutes to talk."

Then:
"So how are you feeling about this job Nanny? Is it working for you? Are there things you find challenging or particularly rewarding? We are so pleased that you've been with us for so long, and obviously we hope that this continues to be a good fit for both of us. We particularly appreciate {talk about a few things she does really well}. One thing that is a problem for us however, is the increasing leave without pay you have taken. We simply can't continue to cover additional weeks of unplanned/unpaid leave. I know that's a challenge when many of your family don't live in the US, so perhaps you can save your vacation time to ensure you have leave available when you need to get home. Additionally, we have decided to give you 3 additional vacation days (to be scheduled at your choosing) in lieu of a raise this year - hopefully this will give you some more flexibility and will allow us to plan for times when you will be away. If you think that you will continue to need unpaid leave then probably that will affect whether or not this continues to be a good fit. As I said, we really are so glad you are with us and we appreciate the loving care you provide. We want to find a way to make sure this is a great opportunity for you also."

And then when she tells you there's some emergency in X country that she has to rush home for you will need to decide what to do, but at some point you' may have to be willing to make a change. At least this way you will have given her ample warning.

[Anonymous]

This is why I always provide back up care. I have another nanny friend with a flexible work schedule who can cover for me when needed. I also post ads for short term nannies. That way, when I ask for a vacation I already have someone in place for them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why I always provide back up care. I have another nanny friend with a flexible work schedule who can cover for me when needed. I also post ads for short term nannies. That way, when I ask for a vacation I already have someone in place for them

That doesn’t work for most families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I always provide back up care. I have another nanny friend with a flexible work schedule who can cover for me when needed. I also post ads for short term nannies. That way, when I ask for a vacation I already have someone in place for them

That doesn’t work for most families.

Well they should give 2 weeks of nannies choosing. I myself offer my friend who has her own babysitting business. If the families decline that's on them- I give enough notice for them to arrange a time to meet; and if its unpaid time off, they aren't losing any money (the money the would have used to pay me that day/week goes to the back up care).