No card or bonus for nanny after 4 years?

[Anonymous]

Nanny here, recently given 1 month notice that after 4 years my nanny family doesn’t need me anymore (kids are grown). I understand and am sad but ready to move on. I’ve worked part time (25-30 hrs/wk) Mon-Fri. We are parting on great terms and my boss has already raved about me to a family I interviewed with. Yesterday was my last day and before I left I was presented with a small gift of chocolates (which I can’t/don’t eat) but that doesn’t really matter. I was a bit offended I did not receive a heartfelt card and some type of cash bonus for all of my hard work over the years. I’ve gotten money from previous families when (much shorter) jobs have ended. The family is well off and usually pretty generous, I always get gifts for my birthday and Christmas. I was just taken aback when I didn’t get anything but the chocolate yesterday and it made me quite sad. Am I wrong to feel this way or to expect a monetary gift? Thanks for your input.

[Anonymous]

One should never expect a gift.

[Anonymous]

Weird but it is what it is. We give our nanny a holiday bonus and probably will give a parting bonus when we are done next year. But that’s us. Everyone is different

[Anonymous]

You should never expect a gift; cash or anything else. It’s quite rude that they gave you something you can’t/don’t eat though. Do they know you can’t/don’t eat chocolate? I’ve been with my family for almost 5 months and they know I don’t like caramel or smoked salmon. I’m surprised they gave you that.

[Anonymous]

Whether or not one should or should not ever expect a gift is irrelevant to OP’s feelings.

OP ~
If it were me, I would have been hurt as well.
After four years of loyalty, they should have gifted you w/a ca$h bonu$.
Period.

I am sorry but at this point you will need them as a strong reference so please try to just let it go.
I would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whether or not one should or should not ever expect a gift is irrelevant to OP’s feelings.

OP ~
If it were me, I would have been hurt as well.
After four years of loyalty, they should have gifted you w/a ca$h bonu$.
Period.

I am sorry but at this point you will need them as a strong reference so please try to just let it go.
I would.

No it’s not. Bc if she didn’t expect a gift her feelings wouldn’t have been hurt.

[Anonymous]

You worked a part time gig for a few years. Stop inflating. Maybe it's this attitude they picked up on, and that's why they didn't feel inclined.

Why do you care whether they wrote their heartfelt thanks in a card or not? THey told you. That's not good enough for you? Or is the real issue that you wanted a goodbye bonus?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You worked a part time gig for a few years. Stop inflating. Maybe it's this attitude they picked up on, and that's why they didn't feel inclined.

Why do you care whether they wrote their heartfelt thanks in a card or not? THey told you. That's not good enough for you? Or is the real issue that you wanted a goodbye bonus?

Exactly. I’m pretty sure she’s upset she didn’t get a bonus. I didn’t either after 2.5 years wit my last family. No big deal. I didn’t expect them to anyway.

[Anonymous]

I left one full time and one weekend job with no chocolates or anything else! I still see both mothers and kids regularly and am on great terms with both families. In fact, both families and my current family all got together at a photographer’s studio to get a photo of all “my kids” together and had it professionally framed for a birthday gift this year.

They just didn’t know about a bonus. They all have always written heartfelt cards on my birthday and Christmas. But no Parting Gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here, recently given 1 month notice that after 4 years my nanny family doesn’t need me anymore (kids are grown). I understand and am sad but ready to move on. I’ve worked part time (25-30 hrs/wk) Mon-Fri. We are parting on great terms and my boss has already raved about me to a family I interviewed with. Yesterday was my last day and before I left I was presented with a small gift of chocolates (which I can’t/don’t eat) but that doesn’t really matter. I was a bit offended I did not receive a heartfelt card and some type of cash bonus for all of my hard work over the years. I’ve gotten money from previous families when (much shorter) jobs have ended. The family is well off and usually pretty generous, I always get gifts for my birthday and Christmas. I was just taken aback when I didn’t get anything but the chocolate yesterday and it made me quite sad. Am I wrong to feel this way or to expect a monetary gift? Thanks for your input.

You should have given the candy back and told her that you cannot eat. She's a cheap jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here, recently given 1 month notice that after 4 years my nanny family doesn’t need me anymore (kids are grown). I understand and am sad but ready to move on. I’ve worked part time (25-30 hrs/wk) Mon-Fri. We are parting on great terms and my boss has already raved about me to a family I interviewed with. Yesterday was my last day and before I left I was presented with a small gift of chocolates (which I can’t/don’t eat) but that doesn’t really matter. I was a bit offended I did not receive a heartfelt card and some type of cash bonus for all of my hard work over the years. I’ve gotten money from previous families when (much shorter) jobs have ended. The family is well off and usually pretty generous, I always get gifts for my birthday and Christmas. I was just taken aback when I didn’t get anything but the chocolate yesterday and it made me quite sad. Am I wrong to feel this way or to expect a monetary gift? Thanks for your input.

OP, I was recently in this situation with our nanny. We moved across the country after 5 years and had always been very generous with birthday and Christmas gifts plus a large Christmas bonus every year. Initially we were planning to do a bonus when we parted ways as well, but our nanny's attitude at the end really turned us off and we ended up deciding against it. So who knows what happened in your situation.

[Anonymous]

I was with a famly FT for 7 years and got nothing either. It hurts

[Anonymous]

No one should ever expect a gift. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one should ever expect a gift. Period.

This. It’s why employees get bent out of shape when they aren’t given raises/bonuses when/they want, kids are not grateful for the birthday and Christmas presents they receive, and bosses feel entitled to free babysitting after a nanny gifts one night free for an anniversary, birthday or Christmas.

[Anonymous]

I can understand you being hurt OP. You probably just have to suck it up, of course, especially in order to retain what will hopefully be a great reference, but i can understand your hurt feelings.

I do think that an employer that gives a full month's notice is doing the right thing on that front, so at least they were decent in what would be the most critical thing for me.