Maternity Leave
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Anonymous
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I will begin maternity leave in July and I am wondering how to best deal with being home during day while our nanny is watching our toddler. Usually, if I work from home (I generally work full time outside our home), I try my best to stay out of their way so that my toddler has no idea I am in the house. But I am not sure that is feasible once we have a newborn.
Does anyone have some tips for how to manage maternity leave without disrupting our nanny's daily routine? |
Anonymous
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Have a conversation with her. Enlist her as an ally in figuring it out. Acknowledge that it may be rough at first as you both figure out the best way to manage the new baby and the toddler, who probably won't want to be away from you and his sibling all the time.
Promise her that if it's going badly, you will talk about it and adjust. And if you have any things that are important to you, like being able to actually live in your house during the day, work with her to make it happen. I did this three times. All three times, the nanny kept the older kids' schedule the same, and sometimes watched the baby while I went out with them. Pretty quickly, they adapted. I mean, the nanny was a lot more fun than me and an infant, anyway. |
Anonymous
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If possible, sign up the toddler for a class once a week. Other days, work with the nanny for ideas that will take them out of the house every day for most of the morning.
If you plan on breastfeeding/pumping, let nanny know if that's time you'd prefer privacy or if you don't care as much. When my MB was on maternity leave, she let me know that she would be breastfeeding in the living room, and she didn't mind if I needed to come and go from the room. I appreciated that she let me know in case I was uncomfortable with it. If there's time when the baby is sleeping, it might be helpful for the toddler if you spent a little one on one time with him/her. Have lunch together, do a puzzle, cuddle and read a book, etc. |
Anonymous
| Talk to your nanny and set up a plan. The weather will still be nice and she should try to keep him out of the house for as much as possible - which is good for everyone. When she comes home with him, stay out of the way. I am actually a huge fan of toddler classes so perhaps nanny could take him for a couple of different classes. |
Anonymous
| I had the nanny watch the baby a lot so I could hang out with my toddler. Some of my best memories with my oldest were during that time. |
Anonymous
If you aren't paying extra for new baby, do not ask her to take care of extra child. Fair is fair. |
Anonymous
Who said anything about not paying our nanny extra for our new baby - what a bizarre (and, quite frankly, uncalled for) assumption to make. To everyone else - thanks so much for the helpful information. I greatly appreciate it. |
Anonymous
| I was at my job for 2 years before baby #2 was born and always had an amazing relationship with MB. During her maternity leave it was so incredibly awful I almost quit and she was looking to replace me (older child told me). She stayed home for 8 long months and I crossed off every day with an X until she went back to work. It was the most horrible time of my career as a nanny. She made non stop mess and expected me to clean it, helped very little and micromanaged and undermined me to the kids non stop. It was a complete nightmare. After she went back to work things wen back to normal (I'm still at the job) and I'm happy I didn't quit or get fired but I will never do that again. |
Anonymous
| Just like PP, my MB was on maternity leave and expected me to wash her dishes. It was a horrible time, but you need to be very clear about what you want your nanny to do with older child. Maybe they can go to the park right after breakfast, come back for lunch, and leave again to library, museum, play date etc |
Anonymous
| Same with pps. It was probably hormones but my MB was HORRIBLE. I. early quit. Several month later she was normal again |
Anonymous
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You need a defined schedule and different areas. So, if you want to take older child to a morning class once per week, let nanny know the week prior to starting that you will do that. You get child ready while nanny takes baby to a different part of the house, and you get child ready for nanny again after the class before switching.
Having a written schedule that notes where and when each adult will be, and which child is with each adult, is priceless. Apologize ahead of time for any hormonal outbursts, and let the nanny know you want this to work. Make sure she knows she can let you know if something isn’t working, but I would suggest that it happen through email rather than face-to-face. |