Please need advice

[Anonymous]

Hi,
I am working with a family almost three years. I am working 12 to 6 or sometimes 12 to 8.30.
Totally I am working 32 hours. The family are not ready to give me more hours ( Which is understandable they don’t need me)
They told me they are okay if I find a morning position. It’s almost year I am looking for morning position but I am not finding.
They became very rude Whenever I tell them how if I find a position 8 to 6. They are not ready that I leave the job and at the same time they can’t afford more hours.
Now here is question I don’t think they will be good reference if I find a job 9 to 6 and leave them.
They are my current employer . So, I think there is reference could help me to get a job.
any advice
Thanks

[Anonymous]

Many parents are very mad when we need to leave, for whatever reason. It's a HUGE problem. They think they own you.

[Anonymous]

Do you have other references you can use? If not, start working a bunch of date night jobs to build up your references so you don’t need to use the other family. It might take six months of a family using you in order to be a reliable reference though. Also, when you interview for 8-6 jobs, just be honest and explain the situation. Let them know you need more hours, haven’t been able to find a morning job and so are interviewing for jobs with more hours and you have let the other family know yet, so please don’t call them for a reference until they’re ready to make a job offer. Most people will respect that. Lastly, is the family open to a share? You’d make more money if you did a share...lots of ways to do that...find someone who needs the same hours, or someone who needs all day but is willing to pay your solo rate for the morning etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have other references you can use? If not, start working a bunch of date night jobs to build up your references so you don’t need to use the other family. It might take six months of a family using you in order to be a reliable reference though. Also, when you interview for 8-6 jobs, just be honest and explain the situation. Let them know you need more hours, haven’t been able to find a morning job and so are interviewing for jobs with more hours and you have let the other family know yet, so please don’t call them for a reference until they’re ready to make a job offer. Most people will respect that. Lastly, is the family open to a share? You’d make more money if you did a share...lots of ways to do that...find someone who needs the same hours, or someone who needs all day but is willing to pay your solo rate for the morning etc.

Op here, I tried my best for nanny share but the current family don’t accept that happily.I thought if I find some maybe the current family accept it but I was not successful to find a new family who accept nanny share as well.

[Anonymous]

Be honest with a new potential employer. Tell them that your current family cannot give you full time and that you have tried for a very long time to find supplemental income and that the only reason you are leaving is because you have responsibilities that must be met financially. Tell them that you are worried that they will be mad Andy not give you an accurate reference if they know you may leave. Tell them that if they imply that they are hiring you for morning only work that the reference will be accurate. Additionally, start getting a reference letter at the end in year one!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be honest with a new potential employer. Tell them that your current family cannot give you full time and that you have tried for a very long time to find supplemental income and that the only reason you are leaving is because you have responsibilities that must be met financially. Tell them that you are worried that they will be mad Andy not give you an accurate reference if they know you may leave. Tell them that if they imply that they are hiring you for morning only work that the reference will be accurate. Additionally, start getting a reference letter at the end in year one!

I am very very very thankful for your great idea about reference letter.
Please don’t take me wrong what my new employer think about me if I tell them to lie.If I tell my new employer to tell my current employer that they are going to hire me only for mornings
I really like your both ideas but I prefer reference letter. I will be glad if new employer tell my current employer they wants to hire me only for mornings. But I think maybe they think ( my new employer)that I want them to lie. What’s your thoughts

[Anonymous]

It doesn’t matter if they are not ready to let you go. Let them know that in case you do resign, that you will give them enough notice for them to look for a new nanny. And just how the others mentioned, just explain in the interviews the situation. When I was looking for my current job, I was employed so in my interview I told them I would be able to start work 3 weeks from when and if they offered me the position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be honest with a new potential employer. Tell them that your current family cannot give you full time and that you have tried for a very long time to find supplemental income and that the only reason you are leaving is because you have responsibilities that must be met financially. Tell them that you are worried that they will be mad Andy not give you an accurate reference if they know you may leave. Tell them that if they imply that they are hiring you for morning only work that the reference will be accurate. Additionally, start getting a reference letter at the end in year one!

I am very very very thankful for your great idea about reference letter.
Please don’t take me wrong what my new employer think about me if I tell them to lie.If I tell my new employer to tell my current employer that they are going to hire me only for mornings
I really like your both ideas but I prefer reference letter. I will be glad if new employer tell my current employer they wants to hire me only for mornings. But I think maybe they think ( my new employer)that I want them to lie. What’s your thoughts

I would be direct with a potential new employer. Tell them that you have tried for a year to find consistent supplemental income have have not been able to do so. Then tell them that you mentioned needing full time work I told your current boss that you may start looking for a full time position and that your boss became angry and that you are worried that she may give a poor reference based on her desire to keep you. I would NOT ask potential new employer to lie, but give them the option to say that they are looking for morning help in order to ensure an accurate reference. Do not ask them to do that, simply offer it as an option. Here is the question that you need to be prepared to answer: Why did you accept a position that doesn’t pay enough to live on? I would be worried that you would continue to look for something better even if you did accept. But the fact that you’ve been there for three years will help alleviate some of that concern, but not all.

[Anonymous]

MB here. I would tell your current family that you’d like a reference letter in order to find a “morning nannying job” because you’d like to continue working for them as long as they need you. Don’t say you’re leaving or want to leave. And then once you get that little reference letter in your hand, hit the pavement hard and get an 8-6 position. Your current MB is going to look ridiculous if she writes a positive reference letter and yet refuses to provide a reference over the phone.

[Anonymous]

Op here,
Thanks for all replies. I appreciate all your ideas.