Nervous about telling nanny I am pregnant

[Anonymous]

When I tell nanny I am expecting a 2nd child, should I tell her at that time that she will be receiving a raise and how much it will be, or do I tell her later?

I am worried our nanny may not be thrilled with this development. Currently she and toddler DS have a really fun schedule-they spend mornings out and about (at storytime, parks, play dates) and then go to her home for lunch and DS naps there. They return in the very late afternoon.

When new baby arrives I’m worried it’s really going to throw off their routine and they will be stuck at home a lot more. I also work from home, which I know most nannies hate (but I always have and our nanny took the job knowing this).

I’m hoping a substantial raise will help soften the transition so want to tell her when I share the news. But also this won’t even come into play until January 2019 (after birth + maternity leave), so I don’t know if it’s premature.

Any tips or thoughts for me?

[Anonymous]

Did she start with DS when he was a baby? Most nannies would be glad to have job security with a family they love.

[Anonymous]

I would certainly tell her now. And don't be surprised if she already knows. Our nanny basically told me that I was pregnant before I knew!! And nannies are used to jobs changing.

[Anonymous]

Tell her now. Personally, I'd be happy to accommodate the necessary sacrifices for a new baby for a $5/hr increase. I adore babies, but I expect appropriate compensation for taking on the extra workload and responsibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her now. Personally, I'd be happy to accommodate the necessary sacrifices for a new baby for a $5/hr increase. I adore babies, but I expect appropriate compensation for taking on the extra workload and responsibility.

I am an excellent nanny and I would never ask nor expect a $5 an hour increase for a new baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I tell nanny I am expecting a 2nd child, should I tell her at that time that she will be receiving a raise and how much it will be, or do I tell her later?

I am worried our nanny may not be thrilled with this development. Currently she and toddler DS have a really fun schedule-they spend mornings out and about (at storytime, parks, play dates) and then go to her home for lunch and DS naps there. They return in the very late afternoon.

When new baby arrives I’m worried it’s really going to throw off their routine and they will be stuck at home a lot more. I also work from home, which I know most nannies hate (but I always have and our nanny took the job knowing this).

I’m hoping a substantial raise will help soften the transition so want to tell her when I share the news. But also this won’t even come into play until January 2019 (after birth + maternity leave), so I don’t know if it’s premature.

Any tips or thoughts for me?

Why is she taking your child to her house for lunch/naps? Who provides his food there? Is it done to avoid you since you are working at home? She has a very easy gig now as she is able to tend to her own household chores/dinner prep while he is napping or maybe even sleep in her own bed. No cameras in her own home, right? This is going to be a tough adjustment, not just because of the baby but because you are probably not going to want her spending afternoons at her own house with both kids. Have you verified childproofing and other things that might be important to you (non-smoking, any other adults or children in the home while he is there)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I tell nanny I am expecting a 2nd child, should I tell her at that time that she will be receiving a raise and how much it will be, or do I tell her later?

I am worried our nanny may not be thrilled with this development. Currently she and toddler DS have a really fun schedule-they spend mornings out and about (at storytime, parks, play dates) and then go to her home for lunch and DS naps there. They return in the very late afternoon.

When new baby arrives I’m worried it’s really going to throw off their routine and they will be stuck at home a lot more. I also work from home, which I know most nannies hate (but I always have and our nanny took the job knowing this).

I’m hoping a substantial raise will help soften the transition so want to tell her when I share the news. But also this won’t even come into play until January 2019 (after birth + maternity leave), so I don’t know if it’s premature.

Any tips or thoughts for me?

Why is she taking your child to her house for lunch/naps? Who provides his food there? Is it done to avoid you since you are working at home? She has a very easy gig now as she is able to tend to her own household chores/dinner prep while he is napping or maybe even sleep in her own bed. No cameras in her own home, right? This is going to be a tough adjustment, not just because of the baby but because you are probably not going to want her spending afternoons at her own house with both kids. Have you verified childproofing and other things that might be important to you (non-smoking, any other adults or children in the home while he is there)?

I know it’s an unusual set up, but she earned it over the course of 2 years. The nanny lives with her parents, and DS has adopted the nanny’s mom and Dad as unofficial grandparents. They all eat lunch together. It did make me nervous at first but I think it’s actually been Good for DS. When he goes to their house it’s like he’s going to another country and he gets to eat their food and hear and speak their language. We didn’t just start out this way though-it was a very gradual/incremental situation that evolved over time. I’m not sure how it’s all going to work with a 2nd kid and worry the nanny is not going to like the big changes that a 2nd child will bring to this set up.

I guess it doesn’t bother me that she gets 1.5 hours of down time when DS naps because I think nannying is actually super hard work and she wouldn’t otherwise have any break at all to eat, sit, etc.

[Anonymous]

Talk to her. See if she’s willing to stay home more for a month or two, then talk about leaving the infant with you a few days per week for ds’ lunch, return for nap, and the other days, your parents come over for lunch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talk to her. See if she’s willing to stay home more for a month or two, then talk about leaving the infant with you a few days per week for ds’ lunch, return for nap, and the other days, your parents come over for lunch.

If you think she'll agree to be unemployed for a month or two, you are totally clueless.

[Anonymous]

^ I don’t think that’s actually what the pp meant. I think they were saying to ask if the nanny would be willing to stay at her employer’s home with the two children for a couple of months, instead of taking them to her own home.

[Anonymous]

Well, OP, you seem really considerate and reasonable so I can’t see why your nanny would be too opposed to working with you around for a little while. You can’t be expected to put your family on hold, things just change sometimes.

I’m sure a little bit of cooperation and flexibility on both ends should make these changes easier on everybody, don’t worry too much. Talk to her and see how she responds. I would definitely mention the raise, lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ I don’t think that’s actually what the pp meant. I think they were saying to ask if the nanny would be willing to stay at her employer’s home with the two children for a couple of months, instead of taking them to her own home.

I meant to keep the kids at their home more, yes. Given how well OP and nanny communicate, I can easily see my suggestion working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her now. Personally, I'd be happy to accommodate the necessary sacrifices for a new baby for a $5/hr increase. I adore babies, but I expect appropriate compensation for taking on the extra workload and responsibility.

I am an excellent nanny and I would never ask nor expect a $5 an hour increase for a new baby.

I think it depends on your current benefits. Some people get $2-5 for a new baby- know your worth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her now. Personally, I'd be happy to accommodate the necessary sacrifices for a new baby for a $5/hr increase. I adore babies, but I expect appropriate compensation for taking on the extra workload and responsibility.

I am an excellent nanny and I would never ask nor expect a $5 an hour increase for a new baby.

I think it depends on your current benefits. Some people get $2-5 for a new baby- know your worth.

I have literally never heard of anyone getting a $5/hour raise for a new baby. Ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her now. Personally, I'd be happy to accommodate the necessary sacrifices for a new baby for a $5/hr increase. I adore babies, but I expect appropriate compensation for taking on the extra workload and responsibility.

I am an excellent nanny and I would never ask nor expect a $5 an hour increase for a new baby.

I think it depends on your current benefits. Some people get $2-5 for a new baby- know your worth.

I have literally never heard of anyone getting a $5/hour raise for a new baby. Ever.

That's what my nanny asked for.