Rounding up Stipend to $200?

[Anonymous]

Our au pair has been with us 4 months and we like her. She works about 30 hours each week, mostly before/after school, watching our children ages 6, 9 and 11. We pay her weekly stipend of $195.75 by automatic bank transfer. She recently asked me to round her her weekly stipend to $200, saying it would "help with her calculations."

Do folks do this? I have to say, I am surprised she asked. It's not about the money, obviously. She has occasionally asked for things that I think are inappropriate (like if her boyfriend could come visit from her home country and stay with us for a week while she was working - NO!). We are generous with her, buying food she requests, paying her entire education course (about $100 over the required $500 spend) and the like. She has also requested certain days off to travel. above and beyond the required two weeks vacation, which we have generally granted.

What would you do? I suppose I just don't like being asked, but that sounds petty!

[Anonymous]

I'd say no.

[Anonymous]

There have been numerous discussions about this both here and on aupairmom. Some people do it because it's not a big deal and others don't. Of those who don't, some take the money and give it as a bonus, with the thought that APs will much more appreciate they money in one lump sum of $215+ than they do the extra 4.25 per week, which no one will really notice.

We have done a whole host of different things over the years. When we paid by check, I definitely felt the pressure to round up because it felt funny each week not to. Now that we pay by auto transfer, I have either rounded to 196 (last year) or 200 (this year). We do $200 for Christmas, birthday, and departure as well, but I will say that now that I am rounding, I am less likely to do the 20-25 gift cards than I used to be last year.

I would definitely be put off by an AP asking about this, I have to say!

[Anonymous]

I believe it is cheap to not round up. It makes you look cheap and not generous. Many families round up. Girls talk among them and feel bad when they realize some families round up and some don't. You're sending a wrong message here.

There's nothing wrong with asking for her boyfriend to come over. What's wrong with that?

[Anonymous]

I think she has a cheek asking to be honest.
I may have done it just to be nice but once asked that would annoy me and I would say no. Just say it is against the rules and you dont want to break the rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think she has a cheek asking to be honest.
I may have done it just to be nice but once asked that would annoy me and I would say no. Just say it is against the rules and you dont want to break the rules.

That's the spirit!

[Anonymous]

I do it. Personally I think its ridiculous not to.

[Anonymous]

I round up just because it is easier to remember in my opinion. But, that is my choice and one that I made at the beginning. I think that with everything else you offer, it is bordering on rude for your AP to even ask and honestly "help with her calculations" And asking for her boyfriend to stay during a work week...

[Anonymous]

No. Especially because she asked. An extra $4.25 is a small Starbucks latte, which would "help her with her calculations." If she can't manage without the extra $4.25/week, then she has other money management issues. Has she been thankful about the other extras (more than the education $500 and extra days off)? Or do you feel like she's taking advantage of you to squeeze the most in perks?

I personally would find it incredibly rude. Would you think it's ridiculous or cute if your own teenage kid who had a list of half a dozen set chores, which adds up to earning $19.50 IF they did them all, asked you to round up every week? Or would you tell them to do one more little chore for the extra 50 cents or that they mowed the lawn badly last time so they barely deserve the $8 for that chore?

We can't really have the same performance discussions with the AP and can only give bonuses if you feel generous. The "rounding up" is the same, completely up to you, NOT her.

[Anonymous]

Tell her that you will round up to $200 as soon as she reimburses you the education fee you paid over the $500.

[Anonymous]

We do not round, but do give the occasional gift card worth more than that. I think it carries greater weight and is more appreciated.
I would be totally shocked if an AP asked me that. (And, what exactly is she trying to calculate?). I would also worry that this is a foot-in-the-door type of thing. Ask her what is her concern that the $4.25 would be helpful - what is she needing that costs $17/mo? Is it something you could contribute to?

[Anonymous]

We do not round, but do give the occasional gift card worth more than that. I think it carries greater weight and is more appreciated.
I would be totally shocked if an AP asked me that. (And, what exactly is she trying to calculate?). I would also worry that this is a foot-in-the-door type of thing. Ask her what is her concern that the $4.25 would be helpful - what is she needing that costs $17/mo? Is it something you could contribute to

Agree. You already gave her an extra $100 toward her credits. I would be really annoyed by this petty request.

[Anonymous]

We don't round up. If we paid cash we likely would, but we do electronic transfer this week. But...we also paid $100 more than required for classes, we give bonuses before she travels, we buy everything when she comes anywhere with us... it's far more than $5/week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I have either rounded to 196 (last year)

I would make this my counter offer. Makes the point more than just declining.

[Anonymous]

We round up.