Compromising between grandma and nanny

[Anonymous]

I posted in General Parenting too, but want to get nannies feelings on this.

My mom has offered to take cre of my daughter when I go back to work. I have no worries about safety or energy etc. My issue is she'll only be able to watch the baby every other week. Meaning we'll need a nanny her off weeks.
I'm having trouble finding a nanny we like who is willing to work on a bi weekly schedule.

Is there anything we can offer that would sweeten the deal?

[Anonymous]

You need to offer either a full time regular paycheck, or a VERY high pay rate.

[Anonymous]

Not enough money in the world for this Nanny.

Every other week means every other week I would be starting over with the baby. Not to mention it's very likely grandma will want to do things her way.messing up things like naps and feeding.

I suggest you give grandma one day a week.

The fact she wants one week on and one off suggests she's not certain she's up to taking care of a baby full time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not enough money in the world for this Nanny.

Every other week means every other week I would be starting over with the baby. Not to mention it's very likely grandma will want to do things her way.messing up things like naps and feeding.

I suggest you give grandma one day a week.

The fact she wants one week on and one off suggests she's not certain she's up to taking care of a baby full time.

Yes, you'd have more luck finding a 2-day or 3-day every week nanny, and giving grandma the off days. Why does grandma want to do full weeks at a time?

Think about this from the potential nanny's perspective: it's half-time pay, so no enough to live on, but it makes it impossible to take classes or find another job for the other half of the time. There are vanishingly few people who want to work the schedule you're proposing for less than a full time salary.

My BIL actually works this schedule (actually 7 days at a time). But he's a radiologist, and brings in 300K+/year. He can just enjoy himself and live his life on his off weeks. Can't do that on 20K a year ...

[Anonymous]

Give grandma every Friday, find an awesome nanny and give her a full weeks pay (as if she'd be working Fridays). She'll be thrilled to have Fridays off and grandma can still pick up another day of the week sometimes if she'd like. You'll be paying the nanny full-time so she can fill in if needed, and it'll be worth it to have an amazing nanny who won't get burned out because she'll have a day off every week.

[Anonymous]

OR, like others are saying, let the grandma have her every other week but pay the nanny full time pay every week. It'll keep her available in case grandma gets sick, has an appointment, etc.

[Anonymous]

This is a disasterous plan, OP!!! Possibly the worst I have ever heard!!

Your baby needs consistency and security which you will be destroying every week! Absolutely tell your mother "no". First, in order to get a good nanny, you are going to have to pay her anyway for the off weeks. And second, your mother doesn't realize that she will also be responsible for the baby's laundry, sterilizing bottles and toys, making purées, cleaning the baby's room, etc.

And third, do you really want your mother "working" for you, OP? And can your mother commit to flying up here every other week with no exception?

Seriously, you are setting everyone up for a world of hurt with this plan and it is your poor baby who will suffer the most.

[Anonymous]

Here's OP's other thread in the General Parenting forum. She gives a lot more detail on the first page there: http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/656253.page

[Anonymous]

I disagree that just because a job is part-time, that the pay should be higher.

Companies in general do not offer higher salaries for their part-time employees.

Nannies should not be expected to make more for lesser hours vs. having a full-time schedule.

I see zero logic in this mode of thinking.

Signed-
A Part-time Nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree that just because a job is part-time, that the pay should be higher.

Companies in general do not offer higher salaries for their part-time employees.

Nannies should not be expected to make more for lesser hours vs. having a full-time schedule.

I see zero logic in this mode of thinking.

Signed-
A Part-time Nanny

Anything that makes a job less desirable also increases compensation somehow because you need to make it more attractive in order to appeal to quality candidates. That is true in any industry.

A job that precludes the nanny from taking another job or going to college or any other normal endeavors but only pays part-time is not desirable. Increasing pay is one way to balance that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a disasterous plan, OP!!! Possibly the worst I have ever heard!!

Your baby needs consistency and security which you will be destroying every week! Absolutely tell your mother "no". First, in order to get a good nanny, you are going to have to pay her anyway for the off weeks. And second, your mother doesn't realize that she will also be responsible for the baby's laundry, sterilizing bottles and toys, making purées, cleaning the baby's room, etc.

And third, do you really want your mother "working" for you, OP? And can your mother commit to flying up here every other week with no exception?

Seriously, you are setting everyone up for a world of hurt with this plan and it is your poor baby who will suffer the most.

This, OP. Please rethink this terrible plan for your child's sake. My advice would be to hire a great full time nanny and your mother can come up and visit anytime she wants with private time with the baby. But the nanny calls the shots and handles the schedule, sleep hygiene, baths -- your mom is there to assist and visit. She will be happier being a grandma and not a nanny.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

It looks like you all were wrong and I was worried for nothing.

I found a nanny who is willing to work the schedule as is and isn't asking for a high rate.

Alls well that ends well!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

It looks like you all were wrong and I was worried for nothing.

I found a nanny who is willing to work the schedule as is and isn't asking for a high rate.

Alls well that ends well!

LOL. After dozens and dozens of experienced moms and nannies here and on the other board explained all the reasons why this won't work, you stuck your head further in the sand and went ahead with it anyway. Why did you even ask for advice at all?

There is absolutely no way this will work long term. Grandma is going to tire quickly of flying in and out every other week, and nanny is going to find a better arrangement and quit. I give it 3 months, tops, before the shit hits the fan with this childcare arrangement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

It looks like you all were wrong and I was worried for nothing.

I found a nanny who is willing to work the schedule as is and isn't asking for a high rate.

Alls well that ends well!

LOL. After dozens and dozens of experienced moms and nannies here and on the other board explained all the reasons why this won't work, you stuck your head further in the sand and went ahead with it anyway. Why did you even ask for advice at all?

There is absolutely no way this will work long term. Grandma is going to tire quickly of flying in and out every other week, and nanny is going to find a better arrangement and quit. I give it 3 months, tops, before the shit hits the fan with this childcare arrangement.

OP here.

I was worried because I had people telling me it was a bad idea, so I asked for advice. Don't you sometimes ask for advice but do differently and things still go okay. Choosing to do something differently isn't an attack on your character or intelligence. There's no need to take it as such.
There's also no need to wish bad things on a new mom and her baby.

[Anonymous]

This has got to be a troll.