Nervous nanny
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Anonymous
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I don't know what to do. My nanny is brilliant and highly experienced in childcare. She is 30 and this is her first nanny job, she worked in a daycare before.
She is fantastic with my sons, kind and reliable. We are very happy with the care she provides but she never seems comfortable with us. She often looks embarrassed talking to us or scared. It is worse when it is both me and DH but after working with us for a year and a half, she is still as nervous. She isn't like that with my kids, I come home and see her laughing and she is firm but fair with them which shows she can be assertive. We as employers are good to her and treat her well so I am wondering why she is still so nervous. Can any nannies relate to this? Is it intimidating being around the kids parents? |
Anonymous
| She probably is dealing w/anxiety in general I assume. |
Anonymous
| No, I am never intimidated by my employers and doubt that your nanny is either. She is probably an introvert and just not comfortable around any adults. Be especially kind, thank her for her great work with your children, and let her go home. |
Anonymous
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Hell no! I have never been "intimidated" or nervous around my MB/DB!
Is she foreign, OP? |
Anonymous
| I'd ask. "Summer, it seems like you're always nervous around Scott and me. Is there something we could do to make you more comfortable?" |
Anonymous
Worst. Advice. Ever. This will just make everything 100x worse. |
Anonymous
| She is doing her job well and your children like her - I don't see the problem. She probably doesn't like you and your husband much and it uncomfortable talking to you. Keep your conversations as short as possible and leave her alone. |
Anonymous
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Her job is to be a great nanny and it sounds like she is.
Don't say anything. It doesn't really matter why she isn't comfortable with you, it could be something about her, it could be something about you...but assuming she is polite and respectful, then just let it go. |
Anonymous
| I would imagine that a lot of nannies are more comfortable with little people than authority figures. One of the nice things about nannying is the freedom to be yourself without your boss around all day. |
Anonymous
Agreed, definitely bad advice. Maybe she feels intimidated by you? Best thing you can do is be kind and gentle with her, keep reassuring her that she is doing a good job. Make sure you are paying her on time, being clear about expectations too, maybe she is unsure about where she is with you both. |
Anonymous
| The only time I have behaved like this was when I had a micromanaging boss. Back off a bit and see if that helps. |
Anonymous
I am a nanny who's comfortable with kids and less with parents, i'm not surprised 
Just accept it like it is. |
Anonymous
+1 I'm always polite to people I work for but some of them I didn't enjoy talking to. No big deal, I kept it short and polite. Or she might have social anxiety or something. If it doesn't effect her job performance and she's polite, let it go. |
Anonymous
| Social anxiety in a nanny would worry me as it would no doubt impact on the kids. Keep an eye on this OP. |
Anonymous
| Eh, depends on the degree of social anxiety. If she was a house bound recluse who never took the kids anywhere of course that's a problem. If interacting with adults sometimes makes her uncomfortable, so what? For all we know nanny thinks the parents don't like her and it's influencing her responses |