Have you ever cancelled a match?

[Anonymous]

Cancelled a match after confirming? What happened? How did you break it to the AP?
If you had regrets but didn't cancel, did it work out?

I am having heavy regrets/thoughts about it and not sure I made the right decision.

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Never heard of anyone cancelling a match- is it pre-arrival jitters, or have their been red flags since matching?

[Anonymous]

I know someone who did cancel the match and then chose another person quickly. It can be done, I think you just lose the 300 match fee.

[Anonymous]

I should have cancelled a match. Candidate did not contact us for over a month after we matched and never asked about the kids prior to arrival. We even posted on here if it was a red flag. It sure was, she lasted less than 3 months and was a terrible AP.

[Anonymous]

I have never cancelled a match, but this probably falls in to the "if you have to ask, you know the answer" ... whatever fees you lose will be well worth avoiding and headaches upon arrival (and the transition mess)

[Anonymous]

I wrote a long reply yesterday and have no idea why it didn't post. I should have -- twice in our ten years of hosting. One ended up OK but it was a lot of work in the course of the year. The other, this year, I was correct in my nagging sense that the AP hadn't correctly represented his goals during matching, and in fact when he got here, it wasn't to be an AP but instead to meet coaches to get a div 1 scholarship for soccer. As soon as he tried out and got one, he went home. It threw us into a tailspin of rematch. I so wish I had cancelled the match on the first, second, or third time that I asked him last spring "Are you really sure you want to be an AP? Your face lights up every time you talk about soccer in a way that it doesn't when you talk about being an AP." Sigh. OP, if you're thinking you should, then chances are you should. Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

I am leaving towards it.

I matched about 3 weeks ago. I am the only onbe reaching out for contact. She hasn't asked anything about us the kids or details about her upcoming year.

We matched on the arrival date of 15 August. She texted me that she doesn't think that is possible because she is traveling now and won't be home in time to get a visa. I contacted my agency and they said it was possible as long as she gets an appt by a certain date. I wrote her this and she has yet to make the appointment.

Doesn't seem excited to join us like others have in the past. Just some yellow/red flags to me. I recently went thru a hard rematch and don't want to deal with another or put my kids thru it again.

[Anonymous]

I have a neighbor who saw some red flags before arrival and didn't cancel. You can probably imagine where this is going.

If you don't need somebody until August, you have tons of time. Pull the trigger now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I should have cancelled a match. Candidate did not contact us for over a month after we matched and never asked about the kids prior to arrival. We even posted on here if it was a red flag. It sure was, she lasted less than 3 months and was a terrible AP.

I remember you. Sorry it worked out that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I am leaving towards it.

I matched about 3 weeks ago. I am the only onbe reaching out for contact. She hasn't asked anything about us the kids or details about her upcoming year.

We matched on the arrival date of 15 August. She texted me that she doesn't think that is possible because she is traveling now and won't be home in time to get a visa. I contacted my agency and they said it was possible as long as she gets an appt by a certain date. I wrote her this and she has yet to make the appointment.

Doesn't seem excited to join us like others have in the past. Just some yellow/red flags to me. I recently went thru a hard rematch and don't want to deal with another or put my kids thru it again.

Ditch her and save yourself thrthe aggrevation. If you don't you'll regret it. Much messier to have her here and go into rematch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I am leaving towards it.

I matched about 3 weeks ago. I am the only onbe reaching out for contact. She hasn't asked anything about us the kids or details about her upcoming year.

We matched on the arrival date of 15 August. She texted me that she doesn't think that is possible because she is traveling now and won't be home in time to get a visa. I contacted my agency and they said it was possible as long as she gets an appt by a certain date. I wrote her this and she has yet to make the appointment.

Doesn't seem excited to join us like others have in the past. Just some yellow/red flags to me. I recently went thru a hard rematch and don't want to deal with another or put my kids thru it again.

Ditch her and save yourself thrthe aggrevation. If you don't you'll regret it. Much messier to have her here and go into rematch.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I am leaving towards it.

I matched about 3 weeks ago. I am the only onbe reaching out for contact. She hasn't asked anything about us the kids or details about her upcoming year.

We matched on the arrival date of 15 August. She texted me that she doesn't think that is possible because she is traveling now and won't be home in time to get a visa. I contacted my agency and they said it was possible as long as she gets an appt by a certain date. I wrote her this and she has yet to make the appointment.

Doesn't seem excited to join us like others have in the past. Just some yellow/red flags to me. I recently went thru a hard rematch and don't want to deal with another or put my kids thru it again.

Cancel it. HUGE red flag. Same thing happened to me - we matched with someone who sort of seemed like they were dragging their feet. It didn't really occur to me at the time, because why would someone go through the whole application process and match if they weren't so sure about coming? But that was absolutely the case - she dragged her feet on the visa appointment, didn't contact me much at all, didn't seem that excited when we did communicate. She lasted a month of being miserable before she went back home. If someone is not hugely excited about coming, they're not going to make it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I am leaving towards it.

I matched about 3 weeks ago. I am the only onbe reaching out for contact. She hasn't asked anything about us the kids or details about her upcoming year.

We matched on the arrival date of 15 August. She texted me that she doesn't think that is possible because she is traveling now and won't be home in time to get a visa. I contacted my agency and they said it was possible as long as she gets an appt by a certain date. I wrote her this and she has yet to make the appointment.

Doesn't seem excited to join us like others have in the past. Just some yellow/red flags to me. I recently went thru a hard rematch and don't want to deal with another or put my kids thru it again.

Ditch her and save yourself thrthe aggrevation. If you don't you'll regret it. Much messier to have her here and go into rematch.

+1

Gosh .. she hasn't asked anything about you and the kids? I would have cut her loose at the interview stage. Any candidate who does not demonstrate any shred of curiosity and ask relevant questions about us, the children, the life here etc. would make us suspicious about her true intentions. On top of that, a non-responsive and non-eager candidate would be a red flag, too. Just like dating, if you do all the reach out and she never cares to know about you, then she is not all that into you. Do yourself and her a favor and cancel. You have so much time before August to find the right AP for your family.

[Anonymous]

Agree 1000 percent with the people saying ditch her. Lack of excitement or interest or response = someone who isn't nearly as invested as an AP should be or needs to be for a successful year. Plenty of time and other AP candidates who are genuinely excited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I am leaving towards it.

I matched about 3 weeks ago. I am the only onbe reaching out for contact. She hasn't asked anything about us the kids or details about her upcoming year.

We matched on the arrival date of 15 August. She texted me that she doesn't think that is possible because she is traveling now and won't be home in time to get a visa. I contacted my agency and they said it was possible as long as she gets an appt by a certain date. I wrote her this and she has yet to make the appointment.

Doesn't seem excited to join us like others have in the past. Just some yellow/red flags to me. I recently went thru a hard rematch and don't want to deal with another or put my kids thru it again.

Ditch her and save yourself thrthe aggrevation. If you don't you'll regret it. Much messier to have her here and go into rematch.

+1

Gosh .. she hasn't asked anything about you and the kids? I would have cut her loose at the interview stage. Any candidate who does not demonstrate any shred of curiosity and ask relevant questions about us, the children, the life here etc. would make us suspicious about her true intentions. On top of that, a non-responsive and non-eager candidate would be a red flag, too. Just like dating, if you do all the reach out and she never cares to know about you, then she is not all that into you. Do yourself and her a favor and cancel. You have so much time before August to find the right AP for your family.

She asked at the interview stage. Since we matched it's been almost radio silence.

Haven't had this with other AP's I've had.

Thanks for the feedback.