Daughter says AP intentionally fed my son food he's allergic

[Anonymous]

My 6 year old daughter just told me as we were walking home from school, that our former AP (she left a couple of weeks ago) would purposely feed my 2.5 year old son food (dairy) that she knew he was allergic to as a punishment. I'm sick to my stomach hearing this and recalling all of the times he may have been ill under her care. I know kids can elaborate at this age, but I just don't see the motivation for making this up.

[Anonymous]

OMG, that is horrific. You're right, there's no reason your older child would make that up. I would complain to the agency, but would also (sadly) expect them to do nothing.

[Anonymous]

May have been ill? Was he actually ill?

[Anonymous]

Was your son ever actually sick that you saw? Did he ever have a reaction? At some point you would've noticed something was off, no? And why is she only speaking up now? Are you absolutely certain - without a doubt - that your older kid is being honest and not exaggerating? I feel like as a mom, you would've known something was off when she was doing this.

[Anonymous]

I was allergic to dairy products at that age (not lactose intolerant) and I can promise you that my parents would have noticed - and did notice - if I had been given dairy products. I don't know how your son's allergy manifests but I would have had skin problems (rash, itching etc.) as well as tummy problems which would not have gone away while under the care of somebody else but would have remained for days (especially the rash).

While I don't say it might not have happened I would consider it unlikely (it's also a totally useless punishment). Could it be that your daughter, especially if it's weeks or possibly months later, might be mixing things up or telling a story?

[Anonymous]

My 6 year old nephew used to tell cashiers in the store about his parents locking him and his step siblings in a tower.

He doesn't have any siblings, and he certainly doesn't have a tower.

If the au pair was actually doing that, you would have noticed. Maybe the Au Pair talked about his dairy allergy out loud, along the lines of "reminder for myself: no milk for Larlo. Milk will make him very sick."

[Anonymous]

Did your daughter have a close relationship with AP? She may be missing the AP, and trying to process her departure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was allergic to dairy products at that age (not lactose intolerant) and I can promise you that my parents would have noticed - and did notice - if I had been given dairy products. I don't know how your son's allergy manifests but I would have had skin problems (rash, itching etc.) as well as tummy problems which would not have gone away while under the care of somebody else but would have remained for days (especially the rash).

While I don't say it might not have happened I would consider it unlikely (it's also a totally useless punishment). Could it be that your daughter, especially if it's weeks or possibly months later, might be mixing things up or telling a story?

I have a food allergy (not dairy) and it manifests itself in the form of vomiting. If I eat shellfish, I am fine at first, but about 4 hours later I start violently vomiting. For hours. Until my stomach is empty, and then I dry heave for hours--about 12 hours total. It's horrific. And if someone intentionally fed me shellfish I could definitely consider it "punishment."

[Anonymous]

Before I had au pairs we had a nanny. After she stopped working for us she added me as a friebd on facebook where I found she had posted multiple photos of my infant daughter forward facing in the car. She had always switched car seats with me and I told her she needed to rear face. Her quotes said "much happier this way" and such.

Was my daughter harmed? No. Thank Gawd. If nanny had an accident, who knows.

I have allergies to bananas and kiwis. I can eat a little and have very mild symptoms. I don't get really bad (rash, younger swelling) until I eat several large bites.

So I think it's plausible that an immature and misinformed person would think making a child take a sip of milk or bite if cheese as punishment is reasonable.

What can you do? Nothing really. I unfriended the old nanny and haven't spoken to her since. She asked me for a reference via email a year later and I told her no and told her why.

[Anonymous]

Younger=tongue

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was allergic to dairy products at that age (not lactose intolerant) and I can promise you that my parents would have noticed - and did notice - if I had been given dairy products. I don't know how your son's allergy manifests but I would have had skin problems (rash, itching etc.) as well as tummy problems which would not have gone away while under the care of somebody else but would have remained for days (especially the rash).

While I don't say it might not have happened I would consider it unlikely (it's also a totally useless punishment). Could it be that your daughter, especially if it's weeks or possibly months later, might be mixing things up or telling a story?

I have a food allergy (not dairy) and it manifests itself in the form of vomiting. If I eat shellfish, I am fine at first, but about 4 hours later I start violently vomiting. For hours. Until my stomach is empty, and then I dry heave for hours--about 12 hours total. It's horrific. And if someone intentionally fed me shellfish I could definitely consider it "punishment."

If OP's kid had this kind of allergic reaction OP would know. My kid has an allergy. I would know if AP were exposing her. You know. From symptoms.

[Anonymous]

My 6 year old told her teacher and a visitor from the County (who happened to be in the classroom that day) that I (her mom) punch her in the stomach all the time. Happily, it's untrue, but kids often say things for no good reason. I found out bc the teacher called me and gave me a heads up.

[Anonymous]

You need to rematch immediately. My 6 year old warned me about safety issues with an AP and I thought, she's a child, should I believe it? Then a neighbor verified the story. Get out now before something truly horrific happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to rematch immediately. My 6 year old warned me about safety issues with an AP and I thought, she's a child, should I believe it? Then a neighbor verified the story. Get out now before something truly horrific happens.

Did you even read the post? The AP already left. She's been gone.

[Anonymous]

I think the issue here isn't the allergy or its manifestation, but that your AP chose to do some kind of punishment which falls outside her scope. She chose to do something which she knew would harm your son to punish bad behavior. It was creative but dangerous and way outside the bounds, unless this is how you have instructed her to punish him. Is her next big idea going to be to spank him? To slap him?
This needs to be brought up with your LLC or AC there and seriously discussed, with potential to rematch. It shows a serious lack of judgement on her part and she has, I'm assuming, violated your rules for how your kids are to be disciplined.