Nanny share: two infants or one infant and one toddler

[Anonymous]

Im trying to get my infant daughter into a nanny share. Nannies, could you please share your opinion on which scenario is easier for the nanny to handle: two infants (both 3 months old) or one infant (3 months old) and one toddler (1.5 years old)? Which scenario is better for the baby? Thanks!

[Anonymous]

You'll get opinions for and against either scenario. My personal preference is one infant and one toddler. That way you can give the toddler 1:1 time while baby is still napping a lot and baby can get 1:1 time when toddler is napping. Two babies can be a lot of work depending on their personalities and whether they're on the same schedule. There are pros and cons with toddlers too. Sometimes they can be rough with a bag baby or need more activity and simulation and outings. Either can work just giving my two cents on my personal preference.

[Anonymous]

either way, I like both..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You'll get opinions for and against either scenario. My personal preference is one infant and one toddler. That way you can give the toddler 1:1 time while baby is still napping a lot and baby can get 1:1 time when toddler is napping. Two babies can be a lot of work depending on their personalities and whether they're on the same schedule. There are pros and cons with toddlers too. Sometimes they can be rough with a bag baby or need more activity and simulation and outings. Either can work just giving my two cents on my personal preference.

Op here. Thanks for your input!

[Anonymous]

For what your share of the salary would be you should just get your own nanny. You won't be saving any money in the share and the other family may pull out once they find a share with their child and another child versus a 3:1 ratio like a daycare. How much are you planning to offer for this share op?

[Anonymous]

I would say two infants. When the 1.5 year old is older, naps change and your child will still need naps. Will they adjust to meet your child's needs or will your child have to adjust to the other child's schedule?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For what your share of the salary would be you should just get your own nanny. You won't be saving any money in the share and the other family may pull out once they find a share with their child and another child versus a 3:1 ratio like a daycare. How much are you planning to offer for this share op?

Huh? There are two potential shares. One would be OP's baby and another infant. The other would be OP's baby and a toddler.

One thing to think about, OP, is how long you'll need the share, and which of the two families matches you in that need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For what your share of the salary would be you should just get your own nanny. You won't be saving any money in the share and the other family may pull out once they find a share with their child and another child versus a 3:1 ratio like a daycare. How much are you planning to offer for this share op?

Huh? There are two potential shares. One would be OP's baby and another infant. The other would be OP's baby and a toddler.

One thing to think about, OP, is how long you'll need the share, and which of the two families matches you in that need.

I'm totally out of it had a long day battling the flu and misread the senecio. Please disregard my original answer. For me I would say a share with 2 infants

[Anonymous]

I would prefer an infant + a toddler.

Two infants will be too tough.
Especially that young.

Trust me, there will always be one hungry and wet.

Unless you are an octopus......

[Anonymous]

Two infants for sure, 1000%. I've done it with three. She can get them on the same schedule easily, then have plenty of time for breaks, lunch, and tidying up while they nap. I've done it also with a toddler and infant. The toddler would wake up the infant and vice versa. It was horrible. I never got a break, one of them was always sleeping which means I had to walk on eggshells to keep the other one silent.

[Anonymous]

Two infants is much easier.

[Anonymous]

I think one of the most important issues is the PARENTS. Are the parents of the other infant interested in getting the babies on the same (or very similar) schedule? Are you? If both infant parents are adamant that their child's schedule must rule, then it will be a no-win for the nanny and one infant parent will be unhappy, always. Parents of twins are absolutely told to get their infants on the same schedule, or they will be doing nothing but feeding and changing all day long. A nanny with two 3 month olds is going to need to get them on the same schedule so she has some hope of getting them to nap, get outside, be fed when hungry, blah blah.

BUT... as a parent of an infant whose baby is in a share with an 18 month old, what will you want when that baby is 2 years old, no longer takes a morning nap and the toddler's parents want that child outside for either a music class or just at the playground/back yard for an hour, right when your baby needs his/her AM nap? This is the absolute scenario for every parent with 2 children close in age, it's real. SO: are you comfortable having your baby take a morning nap in the stroller or in the bjorn on the go? Or will you insist your baby is home in a crib sleeping while the toddler languishes in the house for 4 hours on a beautiful day, then has lunch and sleeps all afternoon (which is a toddler's schedule, up in AM, lunch at 12 noon-ish, sleeps 12:30-3:30pm-ish).....

I think with a share you need to be reallly able and willing to work with the other parents, because your nanny will need to meet both parents' needs, desires, wants, as well as those for both children. So if the two sets of parents are too far apart, it just can't work.

I think both can work for different reasons, but only if the parents are flexible and want and willing to make it work, and that you find a nanny who is comfortable with the scenario.