Interview tips for parents

[Anonymous]

I've been a professional nanny for over 15 years. I love, love, love being a nanny and have been with 3 families in that time.
One of the things that always amazes me is how hostile some parents can be during interviews. It's almost as if they are trying to catch me in a lie. It's as if they view any potential caregiver as someone who is just waiting to harm their child. It is almost always new parents of infants.
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely believe that you should thoroughly interview and screen candidates. You definitely should! You can also treat that person with a bit of common decency and dignity.
The first question you ask should not be "Have you ever harmed a child?"
You should not ask if my husband would be willing to submit to a criminal background check (unless he is going to be near your child...which he wont).
You should never lead with "We don't think we'll ever completely trust anyone in our home."
Do not ask me if I am on any medications or if I've ever sought treatment for a mental illness.
Don't ever ask me to take a lie detector test.
These are all things that I've experienced in interviews. I want to be a good nanny for you family! I want to be a rockstar!
Being hostile during the interview makes me realize that I just wouldn't enjoy working for you, no matter how lovely your child is (and they certainly are!).
Instead, allow the interview to flow naturally. The more like a conversation it is, the more you'll get a feel for their style and personality.
Your gut is the best tool you have. If something inside of you is saying "something is wrong," it is. On the other hand, if you feel pretty good about the candidate, trust that too. Always conduct a background check and check references.
What you put into your nanny search is what you'll get out of it.

[Anonymous]

I asked if potential candidates were on any medications that affected their thinking or response times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I asked if potential candidates were on any medications that affected their thinking or response times.

You were probably the one I interviewed with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I asked if potential candidates were on any medications that affected their thinking or response times.

You scared away more qualified candidates with that question than you weeded out.

[Anonymous]

These are hilarious! OP, keep the list going. There's a book (or at least a blog) in here somewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked if potential candidates were on any medications that affected their thinking or response times.

You scared away more qualified candidates with that question than you weeded out.

That's okay. We have had the same wonderful nanny for four and a half years now.

[Anonymous]

I would find it a bit off putting if a family asked if + what medications I were taking.
That is extremely confidential between myself & my M.D.

Also if I were hiring a Nanny who was taking prescription medication for a mental illness, I would much prefer that over one who had a disorder and wasn't taking any medication for it.

Just my two cents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been a professional nanny for over 15 years. I love, love, love being a nanny and have been with 3 families in that time.
One of the things that always amazes me is how hostile some parents can be during interviews. It's almost as if they are trying to catch me in a lie. It's as if they view any potential caregiver as someone who is just waiting to harm their child. It is almost always new parents of infants.
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely believe that you should thoroughly interview and screen candidates. You definitely should! You can also treat that person with a bit of common decency and dignity.
The first question you ask should not be "Have you ever harmed a child?"
You should not ask if my husband would be willing to submit to a criminal background check (unless he is going to be near your child...which he wont).
You should never lead with "We don't think we'll ever completely trust anyone in our home."
Do not ask me if I am on any medications or if I've ever sought treatment for a mental illness.
Don't ever ask me to take a lie detector test.
These are all things that I've experienced in interviews. I want to be a good nanny for you family! I want to be a rockstar!
Being hostile during the interview makes me realize that I just wouldn't enjoy working for you, no matter how lovely your child is (and they certainly are!).
Instead, allow the interview to flow naturally. The more like a conversation it is, the more you'll get a feel for their style and personality.
Your gut is the best tool you have. If something inside of you is saying "something is wrong," it is. On the other hand, if you feel pretty good about the candidate, trust that too. Always conduct a background check and check references.
What you put into your nanny search is what you'll get out of it.

You're right. The questions should more be like:

We pay $125 an hour with OT over 40 hours plus expenses. Is that ok with you or do you want $250 an hour?

Will you be making lunch for our child or how would you like to do it: carry out, delivery, personal chief for you and the child or we prepare and leave in the fridge for you to reheat in the microwave?

Our nap nanny will be coming from 10-4 to relieve you. You can take a nap, shop or just relax while she takes over. Is that enough time or do you need another hour?

Is it ok for us to have a maid daily while you are there to clean up after your mess or should she come at 4:30 after your shift is over while the PM nanny comes for 2 hours till we get home?

Are regular white dishes ok or would you like gold platted dishes?

Are you ok driving a Porsche SUV that you can take home or would you prefer limo services to/from work and activities?

Would you like one or two helpers to help care for our one child? We wouldn't want you to get over tired.

Should we provide you with 3 meals a day or just during your shift and you take home groceries nightly for your other meals?



Really, yes, I want to know about mental health, substance abuse, domestic violence, child abuse concerns. They impact my children. Yes, I want to know about employment history, driving history and more. You are talking about a child's safety.

[Anonymous]

P.S. there is no such thing as a professional nanny. Its a job. There is no degree in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would find it a bit off putting if a family asked if + what medications I were taking.
That is extremely confidential between myself & my M.D.

Also if I were hiring a Nanny who was taking prescription medication for a mental illness, I would much prefer that over one who had a disorder and wasn't taking any medication for it.

Just my two cents.

You'd be surprised how many people believe that anti-anxiety meds like Xanax, and opioids that are prescribed for pain are fine to drive on. I would also worry about a diabetic caring for children alone unless it had been under control for a long time.

I don't know the sensitive way to ask about these issues, but you'd be asked if you were applying to drive a van or heavy equipment, handle money, or work with sensitive information.

This is probably why a trial period of at least a month is advisable, though I always worry I'll lose candidates if I propose that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been a professional nanny for over 15 years. I love, love, love being a nanny and have been with 3 families in that time.
One of the things that always amazes me is how hostile some parents can be during interviews. It's almost as if they are trying to catch me in a lie. It's as if they view any potential caregiver as someone who is just waiting to harm their child. It is almost always new parents of infants.
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely believe that you should thoroughly interview and screen candidates. You definitely should! You can also treat that person with a bit of common decency and dignity.
The first question you ask should not be "Have you ever harmed a child?"
You should not ask if my husband would be willing to submit to a criminal background check (unless he is going to be near your child...which he wont).
You should never lead with "We don't think we'll ever completely trust anyone in our home."
Do not ask me if I am on any medications or if I've ever sought treatment for a mental illness.
Don't ever ask me to take a lie detector test.
These are all things that I've experienced in interviews. I want to be a good nanny for you family! I want to be a rockstar!
Being hostile during the interview makes me realize that I just wouldn't enjoy working for you, no matter how lovely your child is (and they certainly are!).
Instead, allow the interview to flow naturally. The more like a conversation it is, the more you'll get a feel for their style and personality.
Your gut is the best tool you have. If something inside of you is saying "something is wrong," it is. On the other hand, if you feel pretty good about the candidate, trust that too. Always conduct a background check and check references.
What you put into your nanny search is what you'll get out of it.

You're right. The questions should more be like:

We pay $125 an hour with OT over 40 hours plus expenses. Is that ok with you or do you want $250 an hour?

Will you be making lunch for our child or how would you like to do it: carry out, delivery, personal chief for you and the child or we prepare and leave in the fridge for you to reheat in the microwave?

Our nap nanny will be coming from 10-4 to relieve you. You can take a nap, shop or just relax while she takes over. Is that enough time or do you need another hour?

Is it ok for us to have a maid daily while you are there to clean up after your mess or should she come at 4:30 after your shift is over while the PM nanny comes for 2 hours till we get home?

Are regular white dishes ok or would you like gold platted dishes?

Are you ok driving a Porsche SUV that you can take home or would you prefer limo services to/from work and activities?

Would you like one or two helpers to help care for our one child? We wouldn't want you to get over tired.

Should we provide you with 3 meals a day or just during your shift and you take home groceries nightly for your other meals?



Really, yes, I want to know about mental health, substance abuse, domestic violence, child abuse concerns. They impact my children. Yes, I want to know about employment history, driving history and more. You are talking about a child's safety.

What are you talking about? What you wrote has not a thing to do with the original post. Limo service and $125/hour?
I'm more concerned about your mental health.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would find it a bit off putting if a family asked if + what medications I were taking.
That is extremely confidential between myself & my M.D.

Also if I were hiring a Nanny who was taking prescription medication for a mental illness, I would much prefer that over one who had a disorder and wasn't taking any medication for it.

Just my two cents.

You'd be surprised how many people believe that anti-anxiety meds like Xanax, and opioids that are prescribed for pain are fine to drive on. I would also worry about a diabetic caring for children alone unless it had been under control for a long time.

I don't know the sensitive way to ask about these issues, but you'd be asked if you were applying to drive a van or heavy equipment, handle money, or work with sensitive information.

This is probably why a trial period of at least a month is advisable, though I always worry I'll lose candidates if I propose that.

How about doing a thorough screen? Speak with their references. Any issues with passing out or forgetting things? If not, they're probably ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:P.S. there is no such thing as a professional nanny. Its a job. There is no degree in it.

Sure there is. I have degrees in both Psychology and ECE. That doesn't make me a professional?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:P.S. there is no such thing as a professional nanny. Its a job. There is no degree in it.

Sure there is. I have degrees in both Psychology and ECE. That doesn't make me a professional?

Psychology is a nothing degree without a PHD. ECE can mean a few classes. There is no licensing, no credentials, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would find it a bit off putting if a family asked if + what medications I were taking.
That is extremely confidential between myself & my M.D.

Also if I were hiring a Nanny who was taking prescription medication for a mental illness, I would much prefer that over one who had a disorder and wasn't taking any medication for it.

Just my two cents.

You'd be surprised how many people believe that anti-anxiety meds like Xanax, and opioids that are prescribed for pain are fine to drive on. I would also worry about a diabetic caring for children alone unless it had been under control for a long time.

I don't know the sensitive way to ask about these issues, but you'd be asked if you were applying to drive a van or heavy equipment, handle money, or work with sensitive information.

This is probably why a trial period of at least a month is advisable, though I always worry I'll lose candidates if I propose that.

How about doing a thorough screen? Speak with their references. Any issues with passing out or forgetting things? If not, they're probably ok.

References can be made up or lie. And, a background check only shows proven court involved issues, not minor things that could put your kid at risk. There is nothing wrong with a family asking questions given it is their child's safety and welfare involved.

My husband has a job where he had to have an investigation. We were both asked very intrusive questions and had to show our finances. It was no big deal so he could have a job.