Birthday Gift for Mediocre Au Pair?

[Anonymous]

Our Au Pair's birthday is coming up in early September. She's our 5th, and by far our least favorite. We have decided not to rematch (been with us several months) b/c she gets along with the children and they like her....she is making an effort, but we continually have to remind her of things, micromanage, etc. In the past we have been very generous with our au pairs with birthdays and holidays, but I do not want to go over the top with this one b/c I don't think that she does everything we expect and have clearly communicated to her about the responsibilities. Any suggestions to be nice but not over the top?

[Anonymous]

One of her favorite meals (at home or in a restaurant, your choice), a cake at home, and a $100 gift card to a store she likes.

[Anonymous]

We highlight AP birthdays with a cake, dinner out and a small experience gift, usually a gift certificate to mani/pedi. Sounds like you usually give more but maybe a GC would be in your expected price point for this AP.

[Anonymous]

A card that says "Have a hubba bubba birthday" with a pack of hubba bubba bubble gum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A card that says "Have a hubba bubba birthday" with a pack of hubba bubba bubble gum.

ha!

[Anonymous]

For the au pair we had that we weren't that excited about--we gave a pair of tickets to a show (a musical at the National Theater).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of her favorite meals (at home or in a restaurant, your choice), a cake at home, and a $100 gift card to a store she likes.

+1 -- did similar to our last mediocre AP, who we never meshed with 'like family'. For the ones we've 'loved' - things like show/sports/concert tix or some extra travel $ etc (something "American experiencey")

[Anonymous]

For our mediocre AP, we took her out to dinner, gave a $50 gift card, and paid for a pizza party at the pool with her friends.

[Anonymous]

I had this situation last year and threw our AP a birthday party for her and her friends at our house thinking maybe she would connect better with our family. We also gave her a card and $50 gift card. She ate in the other room with her friends, open the card and gift, gave us a blank stare and told us how her BFF AP got tickets home to see her family for her birthday. I will never go out of my way for another AP that doesn't perform well.

[Anonymous]

Oye - I would have had to bite my tongue hard for that reply.

Maybe dinner, photo book of the local area (or similar small, nice momento of DC) and money or GC?

I always think you have keep in mind you are teaching your kids a lesson too. When someone is important to them, that it is nice to celebrate with them. That doesn't have to mean some extravagant. I don't mean this to sound snotty. I mean it more like -- you may not love the AP, but if the kids do... her gift may be a good lesson for your kids. Get them involved somehow.

[Anonymous]

For my mediocre au pair, I gave her a scarf (she wore a lot of them), a picture frame with a picture of my kids (it said 'The Boys') and a card, I believe. Should have rematched with her, but kept believing her when she said she would do better.

[Anonymous]

Good Lord, reading these as an Au pair myself, I'm in shock.

I was looking for birthday gift ideas for the girl that I'm minding, but this...

Based on the first description, I don't even know what makes that Au pair mediocre.
Au pairs are usually not native speakers, and just because you think you clearly communicated everything, that doesn't mean they actually understood you. If you did have rule books and board, with exact schedules and details and they still didn't get it, then they might be mediocre.

Not sure why, but this whole thread gives me entitled Moms vibes, people I'd never wanna work for.

P.s. you live with these girls, they know and see things you don't even think they would, and could easily be horrible to you, by telling your relatives and friends and neighbours about it, coz just you know, your neighbours ask questions...I know the neighbours of my host family do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had this situation last year and threw our AP a birthday party for her and her friends at our house thinking maybe she would connect better with our family. We also gave her a card and $50 gift card. She ate in the other room with her friends, open the card and gift, gave us a blank stare and told us how her BFF AP got tickets home to see her family for her birthday. I will never go out of my way for another AP that doesn't perform well.

You did NOT go out of your way for this AP.
Sorry but $50 is really nothing ... I understand she was disapointed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our Au Pair's birthday is coming up in early September. She's our 5th, and by far our least favorite. We have decided not to rematch (been with us several months) b/c she gets along with the children and they like her....she is making an effort, but we continually have to remind her of things, micromanage, etc. In the past we have been very generous with our au pairs with birthdays and holidays, but I do not want to go over the top with this one b/c I don't think that she does everything we expect and have clearly communicated to her about the responsibilities. Any suggestions to be nice but not over the top?

That must suck to work for a micromanage mom/dad, you been generous is funny… considering why you hired your 5th AP clearly you can’t afford better care and expect too much from the AP- You’re not obligated to give her anything best thing you can do is quit being an awful host

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For my mediocre au pair, I gave her a scarf (she wore a lot of them), a picture frame with a picture of my kids (it said 'The Boys') and a card, I believe. Should have rematched with her, but kept believing her when she said she would do better.

Those gifts are certainly gifts from a mediocre employer so no surprises-who would want pics of your GD children?!!!