Co Sleeping...help!
![[Post New]](/nanny-forum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| The 9 month old girl I nanny for sleeps in bed with her parents. She also gets 3-4 bottles during the night. I can not get her to take a nap unless I hold her for the entire time. She can sleep from 2- 3 1/2 hours. It's very uncomfortable my butt hurts, my arms go numb and the I get sweaty. Should I bring up sleep training? What are the best ways to go about this and what are good ways to go about sleep training with out the cry it out method? Thank you! - Angie NY |
Anonymous
| If they are still cosleeping at night and not willing to let her cry, then I would approach by making a soft next of blankets on the floor and sleeping with her there. Start with her on top of you, then get her used to sleeping beside you, then you can transition to her staying asleep after you get up. Maybe ask them to get a playpen that rests directly on the floor so that you can even leave the room to eat lunch, etc. and she will be safely contained? |
Anonymous
. ---- Thank you for the tip. They did talk about sleep training in the interview, so hopefully I can ask them If they would be willing to try yet? |
Anonymous
Sure you can bring it up but it's really a lot of work for them and for you so be prepared for them to push back. Nap training only is harder than night training too. At 9 months if she's never successfully slept by herself in the crib she'll have a hard time starting. Also 3-4 bottle w night is a lot for a 9 month old. Is she eating during the day? Solids? Ask them how she napped with her parents and what they'd like you to do. If they don't want to train then maybe a mattress on the floor in another room and you lie down with her and then you get a nap too 
|
Anonymous
I will talk to them and see how they feel about trying it. I am open to any suggestions that might help. Yes, she eats solid food during the day and takes bottles! I think if she wakes up during the night a little bottle is the only way she goes back down for them? I'm not really sure.....I thought co sleeping is dangerous and I also feel 3-4 bottles at night for a 9 month old is crazy! She's going to be one soon ? It's not up to me though, I will follow whatever they would like done. Can anyone give me tips for how to start sleep training? What's the first step we would need to take? New to both parties here.... |
Anonymous
| Babies need routine,you have to do the same thing everyday. |
Anonymous
| We co-slept with our daughter, and what our nanny did was put a crib mattress on the floor, and lay next to her, rubbing her back and staying th her until she fell asleep. It worked well for them. Best of luck! |
Anonymous
|
I think first steps is to read and see what metros appeals to the parents. Sleep lady shuffle etc. some good websites: babysleepsite
It'll be very hard to train if she is cosleeping and especially if she is taking bottles (especially side they are tiny ones) to soothe and go back to sleep at night. That's the crutch to eliminate first. Baby has to learn to go to sleep without eating at every wake up. Maybe a pacifier, maybe some rocking. But I'm definitely not an expert and not sure how to start at 9 months. There are sleep consultants out there. |
Anonymous
| Acc to what I've read, babies process naps and nighttime sleep in different parts of the brain and likewise, they can have completely different sleep styles for the two. That's why you hear all the time about a baby who's a great napper, but terrible night sleeper and vice versa. So in your case, just because the parents cosleep with the baby and she takes several bottles at night, it doesn't mean that she can't learn (and maybe even quickly! if you are consistent) to sleep without a warm body next to her and eventually, to self-soothe. I sleep-trained my son after one year of age successfully W/O CIO so it is possible. My rec is that you start off sleeping next to the baby on the floor as PPs suggested, then next to baby but with space between you two (you may need to keep your hand on her), then baby in crib (if they have one) with you on the floor next to her (again, with your hand on her), then eventually just pat her occasionally, then almost never. IOW gradually reduce the amount of physical contact. Once she is able to sleep in the crib on her own, I recommend the Sleep Lady Shuffle for sleep-training, it worked very quickly, less than a week, for us and our 1 y.o. son. |
Anonymous
|
If the parents are 100% on board to assist you in sleep training that would be awesome.
However if they will still let her sleep in bed w/them every single night then no matter what you do during the day will not matter. Children need consistency in order to learn anything. |
Anonymous
| I suggest finding a new job. Any parent that co-sleeps is not all there. Co-sleeping is incredibly dangerous. |
Anonymous
Oh my goodness, a know it all nanny! Co-sleeping is perfectly safe if done right. Educate yourself further before spewing your lack of knowledge. |
Anonymous
I'm not a nanny. I'm a mother and come from a long line of pediatricians. You need to educate yourself because there is no " safe" way to co-sleep. Parents who feel the need to make themselves better practice co-sleeping. Your child will be just as well-adjusted as a crib or bassinet sleeper. |
Anonymous
| While cosleeping is not statistically the safEST way to sleep, it needs to be studied further. Most large-scale studies conflated all cosleeping families without differentiating between cosleepers who avoided know risk-factors for SiDS such as having loose blankets and pillows in the bed, parents who are obese or under the influence of alcohol or medications that can reduce awareness of surroundings, etc. Smaller studies which reviewed families who practice the ideal cosleeping habits (room at appropriate temperature, fan in the room, no blankets or pillows or other objects in bed, parents healthy, normal weight and aware of surroundings, etc.) indicated no real difference between bedsharing and crib sleeping. There are many, many proven safety hazards of chronically overtired caregivers, so if cosleeping is the approach that allows a family to get sufficient sleep and they follow best practices otherwise, it can be a much safer choice than overtired parents passing out on the sofa with baby. |
Anonymous
|
To OP:
While naps and nighttime can be trained separately, it would be very difficult for you to have a completely different approach for naps than parents use nights/weekends with no crying allowed. Before going to all that trouble, I would talk to the parents about their plans for the future. If they plan to cosleep long-term, then creating a cosleeping scenario for naps (either wearing baby in a carrier or laying with her on the floor) is probably the way to go. If they were hoping to phase it out at some point, I would encourage them to choose a sleep-training approach now, because at age one you should be working on dropping bottles, switching to cow milk, etc., which makes adding an extra transition around that age tough, and if you wait until all of those transitions are done it will be time to manage the 2-1 nap transition and then potty training--basically if they plan to train at some point, now is the time to start because the toddler years are full of transitions and are a much harder time to train. |