What to do with a child who is really attached to leaving AP?

[Anonymous]

We've had 4 APs so far, but this is the first time DD has expressed anxiety and sadness about an AP leaving. She has been a wonderful AP, to be sure, but I think she's also been able to connect with DD in a very special way. What are some good ideas to help DD with this transition? Any ideas? She is 6, btw.

[Anonymous]

Our middle child (4 at the time) got very attached to our first AP. She was very inwardly sad when she left. She didn't want to talk about it, but her mood changed after AP left. What helped was skyping with her every couple weeks after she left, then reducing to every month or so.

We've also had AP back to visit twice now. I save up enough airline miles so I can buy her ticket. She stays a couple weeks and my dd loves it. Now she knows that she will/can always have a relationship with AP- kind of like a long distance relative.

[Anonymous]

My now 6yo has been very attached to two of our au pairs, but has gotten past missing them fairly quickly. We throughly explain the program from the beginning - so and so is going to spend a year with us and then will be off to her new adventure, but will always be a special friend! And he totally seemed to get that. We also still skype with the special ones and exchange texts and packages and such, and so he always knows they are still part of our family. Hope it goes as well for you and your family!

[Anonymous]

My youngest, who has had au pairs all her life, was hit very hard when one of her au pairs left -- DD was 7 at that time, and this au pair had also really formed a good bond. It was hard -- no ways about it.

One of our au pars created a posted with pictures of the tow of them, which dd LOVED. So maybe have dd and au pair prepare a scrap book, along with special messages from the au pair written in it, that she can keep and look at.

And yes, skyping helps a lot! This au pair also had included dd in skypes with her family back in Poland, which helped form a connection to the family back home.

[Anonymous]

I always schedule my APs to overlap a week if I can, for a a variety of reasons - and one is that the kids are SO excited about the new AP's arrival that it helps them to process the old AP's departure. It can also help the two AP's to build a friendship, which helps encourage new AP to skype with the kids and old AP.

[Anonymous]

We had an AP like that. She comes back to visit every august for 4 weeks each year. She calls our house home and her family in the US.

It was hard, but the first month long visit happened just 6 months after she left. We are planning a big trip to Germany this winter for the Christmas markets and will be staying with her family in Munich.

[Anonymous]

We have used a transitional object (stuffed animal) to help. Have the Au pair buy them something and give it to them. The child will be able to hug it and transition better.