Is it weird that Nanny sees her former charge?

[Anonymous]

We have a wonderful nanny - honestly, she is perfect for us and wonderful with our baby. No complaints at all about her work/relationship with us and we truly feel blessed to have found her. She has been with us since my DD was born eight months ago.

Here is my question: Nanny has one day off a week and she spends six or so hours of it taking care of her former charge who is now in school. She does it for free - she is not getting paid to take care of him and bring him places. I know she loves him but does she love him too much? Seriously, is she overly attached to him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a wonderful nanny - honestly, she is perfect for us and wonderful with our baby. No complaints at all about her work/relationship with us and we truly feel blessed to have found her. She has been with us since my DD was born eight months ago.

Here is my question: Nanny has one day off a week and she spends six or so hours of it taking care of her former charge who is now in school. She does it for free - she is not getting paid to take care of him and bring him places. I know she loves him but does she love him too much? Seriously, is she overly attached to him?

And why doesn't she love my daughter enough to take care of her for free sometimes?

[Anonymous]

I stay in touch with some of my former families and make time to see my old charges sometimes just to catch up and have a fun outing. I don't do it on a schedule every week like you describe, but maybe if I had less hobbies and less work hours I might spend more time doing something like that, I love my old charges.

As for your second question, maybe your child just isn't as nice. Even though I do an equally good job with all my charges I don't love them all equally. When your not the parent you don't have to love them unconditionally, and if your kid is a pain in the ass I probably wouldn't want to come back either.

[Anonymous]

I have had close relationships with many charges. The ones I spent the most free time with were the ones whete the parents didn't hamper our relationship and treated me like family instead of the help and trusted me implicitly. I took a former charge away for the weekend last week because she is my road trip buddy. Parents did not question what I packed for her, what I fed her, what time we went to bed, etc. It was fun and relaxing to have her along. I have had other former charges where the parents' focus would be on maintaining the schedule, following the rules etc., which means I am in the role of nanny vs. "fun aunt." That is a hassle and I charge for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a wonderful nanny - honestly, she is perfect for us and wonderful with our baby. No complaints at all about her work/relationship with us and we truly feel blessed to have found her. She has been with us since my DD was born eight months ago.

Here is my question: Nanny has one day off a week and she spends six or so hours of it taking care of her former charge who is now in school. She does it for free - she is not getting paid to take care of him and bring him places. I know she loves him but does she love him too much? Seriously, is she overly attached to him?

Here's my question: What's her schedule with your child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a wonderful nanny - honestly, she is perfect for us and wonderful with our baby. No complaints at all about her work/relationship with us and we truly feel blessed to have found her. She has been with us since my DD was born eight months ago.

Here is my question: Nanny has one day off a week and she spends six or so hours of it taking care of her former charge who is now in school. She does it for free - she is not getting paid to take care of him and bring him places. I know she loves him but does she love him too much? Seriously, is she overly attached to him?

And why doesn't she love my daughter enough to take care of her for free sometimes?

Why don't you love your daughter enough to pay her caregiver all the time?

[Anonymous]

I've taken my former charges on outings (from several old families) and come round for dinner with kids and drinks with parents every few weeks or so. I was and am an important part of their life, and having an extra adult who loves them and treats them well is great for them - I don't see what's weird about that. When your nanny is done with you, when your DC goes to school or whatever - wouldn't you like her to keep in touch?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a wonderful nanny - honestly, she is perfect for us and wonderful with our baby. No complaints at all about her work/relationship with us and we truly feel blessed to have found her. She has been with us since my DD was born eight months ago.

Here is my question: Nanny has one day off a week and she spends six or so hours of it taking care of her former charge who is now in school. She does it for free - she is not getting paid to take care of him and bring him places. I know she loves him but does she love him too much? Seriously, is she overly attached to him?

No, she isn't. She's a caring person and you're jealous, aren't you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I stay in touch with some of my former families and make time to see my old charges sometimes just to catch up and have a fun outing. I don't do it on a schedule every week like you describe, but maybe if I had less hobbies and less work hours I might spend more time doing something like that, I love my old charges.

As for your second question, maybe your child just isn't as nice. Even though I do an equally good job with all my charges I don't love them all equally. When your not the parent you don't have to love them unconditionally, and if your kid is a pain in the ass I probably wouldn't want to come back either.

OP's "child" is an infant, at eight months old. An eight month old is not even capable of being mean or nice.

[Anonymous]

We had a nanny for three years who came to us through a neighbor, for whom she had nannied and with whose kids she maintained a very close relationship for more than a decade. One of her other references also had kids who had stayed in touch w/ her and who she saw regularly.

She is no longer our nanny but we see her fairly often, and our kids have had sleepovers with her twice in the year since she's left. She loves them, and they love her. And it's pretty clear that when they see each other they would just as soon not have the parents around!

One of the reasons I hired her is because of her clear ongoing relationships with her former charges (and employers.) And it's something I talked about positively when helping her find her next nannying position after us.

I think it speaks volumes of her.

Whether or not your nanny is spending more time and energy than you think is appropriate, is - frankly - none of your business. Be glad you found someone terrific, who has such clearly positive ongoing relationships. Hope that you and your child are as lucky!

[Anonymous]

As long as what she does in her free time is legal, if is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I stay in touch with some of my former families and make time to see my old charges sometimes just to catch up and have a fun outing. I don't do it on a schedule every week like you describe, but maybe if I had less hobbies and less work hours I might spend more time doing something like that, I love my old charges.

As for your second question, maybe your child just isn't as nice. Even though I do an equally good job with all my charges I don't love them all equally. When your not the parent you don't have to love them unconditionally, and if your kid is a pain in the ass I probably wouldn't want to come back either.

OP's "child" is an infant, at eight months old. An eight month old is not even capable of being mean or nice.

Very capable of being annoying and not as lovable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a wonderful nanny - honestly, she is perfect for us and wonderful with our baby. No complaints at all about her work/relationship with us and we truly feel blessed to have found her. She has been with us since my DD was born eight months ago.

Here is my question: Nanny has one day off a week and she spends six or so hours of it taking care of her former charge who is now in school. She does it for free - she is not getting paid to take care of him and bring him places. I know she loves him but does she love him too much? Seriously, is she overly attached to him?

Seriously? You only give your nanny ONE day off a week, and now you want to dictate what she does on THAT day too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a wonderful nanny - honestly, she is perfect for us and wonderful with our baby. No complaints at all about her work/relationship with us and we truly feel blessed to have found her. She has been with us since my DD was born eight months ago.

Here is my question: Nanny has one day off a week and she spends six or so hours of it taking care of her former charge who is now in school. She does it for free - she is not getting paid to take care of him and bring him places. I know she loves him but does she love him too much? Seriously, is she overly attached to him?

Seriously? You only give your nanny ONE day off a week, and now you want to dictate what she does on THAT day too?

Maybe the nanny works at another job one day a week because she wants the money. Maybe she goes to school one day a week or takes care of a family member one day a week. Having "one day off a week" just means she doesn't have a standing obligation that day - not that she works for pay.

[Anonymous]

There is no issue with it as far as she is sincere in discharging her duties