Do you play with your nanny kid all day?

[Anonymous]

How much independent play do you let the kids do? I have been wondering about this alot lately. I do so much with the kids, but I feel like they get a ton of free play too. However I have run into nannies recently at the library, and park who constantly shadow the kids. vI would love to hear from parents and nannies!

How much observing do you do vs planned activities/hide and seek/crafts?

Parents: What do you expect from your nanny?

[Anonymous]

I personally spend the whole time playing & interacting w/my charges.

I'm not saying it is necessarily the right thing to do, but in my opinion it is what most parents expect.

If they were to come home + see me reading a magazine on the couch while their child played near-by, they probably would think I was lazy for not actively engaging their child at ALL times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I personally spend the whole time playing & interacting w/my charges.

I'm not saying it is necessarily the right thing to do, but in my opinion it is what most parents expect.

If they were to come home + see me reading a magazine on the couch while their child played near-by, they probably would think I was lazy for not actively engaging their child at ALL times.

And we wonder why these kids are often spoiled rotten.

[Anonymous]

No ma'am it wouldn't be healthy for any of us. Children should not get accustomed to adults, or any other person constantly interacting with them all of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I personally spend the whole time playing & interacting w/my charges.

I'm not saying it is necessarily the right thing to do, but in my opinion it is what most parents expect.

If they were to come home + see me reading a magazine on the couch while their child played near-by, they probably would think I was lazy for not actively engaging their child at ALL times.

lol reading a magazine? how about just straightening up whatever it is that the child can't do when they help, Cooking, Going to the toilet, Making a cup of tea or coffee for yourself, Packing up a bag for going out, Online making a schedule & looking up activities for spring break or summertime, or art projects? A lot kids that have nannies don't nap and there is no down time for this unless the child knows how to function a part from their care giver the entire day.

Allowing a child to have some independent or solitary play is a part of development in young children. Otherwise they wont tap into using their imaginations. When we constantly interact and play with kids it makes them always rely on a cue from us. I think this can make kids insecure. Even if you let them lead(because most kids love to dictate to outcome of activities lol) the free play aspect with building or dolls etc. they still are leaning on your expectations. Kids also learn problem solving skills when allowed to have solitary play.

[Anonymous]

I'm a parent and it depends on what type of parent you or your kids are and what rate you are paying her. When I go to this toddler playground during the weekends, I see parents shadowing and others mostly on their phone. I would like to check email a third of the time I'm usually there (90 min) but my DD when she wss a toddler used to get upset if I don't spend 90% of the time shadowing her. Now she grew up to be 3 years old and can play independently longer, but she's still needier (compared to others I observe).
The other factor is did you pay top dollar for a top notch nanny or did you pay what you could afford and realistically that rate only attracted an average nanny in the spectrum of Mary Poppins-ness. You can't expect too much if you are paying on the average to lower side. That is where I'm at. It's like any other industry, the higher the pay the more professionals you get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a parent and it depends on what type of parent you or your kids are and what rate you are paying her. When I go to this toddler playground during the weekends, I see parents shadowing and others mostly on their phone. I would like to check email a third of the time I'm usually there (90 min) but my DD when she wss a toddler used to get upset if I don't spend 90% of the time shadowing her. Now she grew up to be 3 years old and can play independently longer, but she's still needier (compared to others I observe).
The other factor is did you pay top dollar for a top notch nanny or did you pay what you could afford and realistically that rate only attracted an average nanny in the spectrum of Mary Poppins-ness. You can't expect too much if you are paying on the average to lower side. That is where I'm at. It's like any other industry, the higher the pay the more professionals you get.

I'm PP. I just realized the OP sounds like a nanny not a parent. I would say whatever the parents and you prefer. If they are ok with current levels, then great. If not, see what is a good amount for both of you.

[Anonymous]

Most of the day, I think. It depends on the age of the child, of course, but mostly I will set them down with an activity I know they like, or use the moment when they wander off to play on their own to straighten up the house, set up lunch or just have a cup of tea on the couch. I think usually we have a healthy balance of me initiating and facilitating play and them occupying themselves.

[Anonymous]

PP again, re the playground, I'm also always conflicted as to how much I should be shadowing them. My kids are 9mo, 3yo, 4yo, 6yo. I'll leave them be if they're in the sandpit, but I still usually follow the 3yo when she goes on the equipment, and the 4yo as well. Even if they're all playing with other kids I still don't feel like I can just sit down and read a book or go on my phone - it'll take half a second (and has!) for something to happen and I'd rather not be reading when it does. I'm being more helicoptery than most other nannies and practically all parents (who seem to literally always be on the phone, idk) but I guess you can probably afford to if you only have one or two kids to watch and not four.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP again, re the playground, I'm also always conflicted as to how much I should be shadowing them. My kids are 9mo, 3yo, 4yo, 6yo. I'll leave them be if they're in the sandpit, but I still usually follow the 3yo when she goes on the equipment, and the 4yo as well. Even if they're all playing with other kids I still don't feel like I can just sit down and read a book or go on my phone - it'll take half a second (and has!) for something to happen and I'd rather not be reading when it does. I'm being more helicoptery than most other nannies and practically all parents (who seem to literally always be on the phone, idk) but I guess you can probably afford to if you only have one or two kids to watch and not four.

I have four kids almost exactly those ages. Yeah, you can't be on your phone while they are playing, but don't you have to let them be without shadowing? Like when you have to feed the 9 m/o?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP again, re the playground, I'm also always conflicted as to how much I should be shadowing them. My kids are 9mo, 3yo, 4yo, 6yo. I'll leave them be if they're in the sandpit, but I still usually follow the 3yo when she goes on the equipment, and the 4yo as well. Even if they're all playing with other kids I still don't feel like I can just sit down and read a book or go on my phone - it'll take half a second (and has!) for something to happen and I'd rather not be reading when it does. I'm being more helicoptery than most other nannies and practically all parents (who seem to literally always be on the phone, idk) but I guess you can probably afford to if you only have one or two kids to watch and not four.

I have four kids almost exactly those ages. Yeah, you can't be on your phone while they are playing, but don't you have to let them be without shadowing? Like when you have to feed the 9 m/o?

She said she shadows them on the equipment. I shadow my toddler on the equipment too, because some of it is kind of big for him and he has fallen off before. A 9 month old probably doesn't need to eat in a 90 minute stretch.

[Anonymous]

My kids are 2 and 5 and, though my precious spawn are delightful to me, they are freakin exhausting. Both are incredibly precocious and demanding constant interaction--and we love our nanny but I am terrified she will ultimately get burned out, so I encourage her to take "breaks" from the kiddos, enforce independent playtimes, throw on a cartoon when the weather sucks and they can't get out doors. It is crazy to expect constant interaction from even the best nanny. No doubt some can do it and thrive, but i think it is perfectly reasonable that you can find a nanny that you love who still can't be on for 10 hours a day, everyday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP again, re the playground, I'm also always conflicted as to how much I should be shadowing them. My kids are 9mo, 3yo, 4yo, 6yo. I'll leave them be if they're in the sandpit, but I still usually follow the 3yo when she goes on the equipment, and the 4yo as well. Even if they're all playing with other kids I still don't feel like I can just sit down and read a book or go on my phone - it'll take half a second (and has!) for something to happen and I'd rather not be reading when it does. I'm being more helicoptery than most other nannies and practically all parents (who seem to literally always be on the phone, idk) but I guess you can probably afford to if you only have one or two kids to watch and not four.

I have four kids almost exactly those ages. Yeah, you can't be on your phone while they are playing, but don't you have to let them be without shadowing? Like when you have to feed the 9 m/o?

I usually get snacks for everyone while I feed the 9mo, but yeah, certainly there are times when I'm busy with the baby and the others are left to their own devices. But I'm still so uneasy when we're all out! At home I'm much more relaxed and have no trouble telling the 3yo and the big ones to go do something while I'm cooking - and they're usually able to entertain themselves without me needing to meddle.

[Anonymous]

I think ita good and healthy for kids to entertain themselves.

I would expect a nanny to let my little girl play on her own much of the time, especially in an interesting place like near a stream, playground or woods. I let her wander away and do her own thing while I keep an eye on her from a safe distance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think ita good and healthy for kids to entertain themselves.

I would expect a nanny to let my little girl play on her own much of the time, especially in an interesting place like near a stream, playground or woods. I let her wander away and do her own thing while I keep an eye on her from a safe distance.

This must be a fake post because this person is actually saying they would let a child wander off into the woods or a stream!!

Anyway, I don't think a parent should ever read a book at a playground. Unless the kids are older.