Rules of living arrangements after rematch

[Anonymous]

I've decided to go into rematch with my AP today. She is also near the end of her term and is supposed to move in with her new host family in May. Am I responsible for finding her a place to live? Move in with new family early? Or can she just be sent back to her country? The reason for rematch was pretty severe and worthy of an immediately termination, so staying with us for another 6 weeks is not an option. Anyone handled a similar situation?

[Anonymous]

What's the 'severe' reason? On dcum that could be not serving organic apples.

[Anonymous]

The reason for termination will get you better replies

[Anonymous]

Other than being late all the time, leaving our house and car unattended, basically being shitty with our kids etc the action that ended everything is drinking in our car. Either she drank or her other AP passengers in our car drank and then forgot a bottle in the backseat. In addition, they took photos and videos of themselves with the alcohol and cigarettes in our car and posted them on their social media.

[Anonymous]

OP isn't being truthful or agency would be sending her home, not re matching her.

[Anonymous]

Yeah she's a goner. I wouldn't even let her stay the night. Tell her parents, the LLC and open the front door. Tell the new family too!

[Anonymous]

OP here. The agency just received this info from us and I am waiting for their feedback. I just found out all of this today. So, I take it they will just send her home? If yes, this is excellent news. I dread even seeing her when she gets her things to move out.

[Anonymous]

You are not responsible for finding her a new place to stay.

The agency will either terminate her, or put her into rematch for the next 6 weeks. It is possible that there is a family out there with a short term need who would be happy to take her in temporarily.

I don't think the agency is allowed to let her be 'unemployed for the next 6 weeks but I might be wrong.

Regardless, it is not your problem, but it is likely to cause a lot of friction with your AP, especially if going into rematch actually ruins her extension.

If the situation is not friendly, I would recommend that she not live with you for the usual two weeks...

[Anonymous]

This is horrific if your children were at risk. Horrible and shocking beyond belief.

[Anonymous]

I should note my kids were with her. I let her use my car over the weekend.

I'm enraged. I know how badly she doesn't want to go back to her hometown and hoped to stay in the US permanently. Right now nothing would make me happier than to have her sent back home first thing tomorrow morning.

[Anonymous]

Correction: Kids were not in the car with her.

[Anonymous]

OP, this happened to us two years ago. AP drove drunk, crashed our car, and lied about it, claiming the car had been stolen, crashed, and then returned to the party where she had been. We gave her several chances to tell us the truth, including saying that we would understand if she fell asleep at the wheel, etc. It still took four conversations to tell the truth. We ridiculously didn't rematch right away, and three days later, AP crashed our second car. At that point, we were in serious trouble with teh insurance company so we rematched. It was three weeks before the end of her year.

AP's extension family would not take her early, so there were three weeks for which AP needed housing. LCC would not house her and extension family would not take her early. We ended up housing her (but not having her work at all) for the entire time. It was hard, but we all made it work. AP was respectful, we were respectful, and we did the best we could to get through it. We invited AP to join in the celebrations for DS's bday party, which fell in teh middle, and we had a goodbye dinner for our family the night before AP left. I can't say it was fun, but we got through it.

BUt that was 3 weeks, and you're talking three months. In this case, you can't house AP. You can do two weeks if you're nice, but AP is going to have to find another family for the period in between. It's not your problem to figure out. Maybe the new HF can take AP early. But again, not your problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, this happened to us two years ago. AP drove drunk, crashed our car, and lied about it, claiming the car had been stolen, crashed, and then returned to the party where she had been. We gave her several chances to tell us the truth, including saying that we would understand if she fell asleep at the wheel, etc. It still took four conversations to tell the truth. We ridiculously didn't rematch right away, and three days later, AP crashed our second car. At that point, we were in serious trouble with teh insurance company so we rematched. It was three weeks before the end of her year.

AP's extension family would not take her early, so there were three weeks for which AP needed housing. LCC would not house her and extension family would not take her early. We ended up housing her (but not having her work at all) for the entire time. It was hard, but we all made it work. AP was respectful, we were respectful, and we did the best we could to get through it. We invited AP to join in the celebrations for DS's bday party, which fell in teh middle, and we had a goodbye dinner for our family the night before AP left. I can't say it was fun, but we got through it.

BUt that was 3 weeks, and you're talking three months. In this case, you can't house AP. You can do two weeks if you're nice, but AP is going to have to find another family for the period in between. It's not your problem to figure out. Maybe the new HF can take AP early. But again, not your problem.

You are much nicer than me! I would have never been that tolerant.

[Anonymous]

PP here. Sorry I read three months but you wrote six weeks. Still not your problem.

In our case, agency did not send AP home. There was no evidence that AP was drunk - just her admission that she had been drinking but she swore she wasn't drunk - so agency didn't do anything. We did insist that we talk to extension family, whcih I did, but they apparently didn't care (they didn't believe us that AP had lied, because she told them she told us the truth immediately).

[Anonymous]

How do you get the new host family's contact information? I want them to know about this situation as well as her past F*ck ups I should have done something about earlier.