Nannies, how do you win the hearts of new charges and parents?

[Anonymous]

Do you have any tricks to bond with a new child in your care? How about the parents you are newly working for?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have any tricks to bond with a new child in your care? How about the parents you are newly working for?

Any smart parent will adore you if you learn how to make their child feel loved. And every child is different.

[Anonymous]

I approach every position as a clean slate. It doesn't matter to me where or when I met the child, or if I never met them before. With toddlers and older, I let them come to me with verbal and physical affection, waiting them out, but I smile, encourage, praise effort and generally make sure that they know that I'm there when they want or need me. For infants and young toddlers, I narrate our days, but I also narrate my feelings and what they seem to be feeling, and I cuddle, kiss and tickle when it seems appropriate. Some children open up quickly, some take a long time. I've had kids who were so starved for attention tell me that they love me during a Skype interview, and I've had a charge who took over 6 months before she would smile at me or say anything positive to me. For me, it's all about being positive and happy yet firm with boundaries, letting them set the pace for displays of affection and accepting that each child forms a bond with their nanny in their own time and in their own way.

Parents are a whole different ball of wax. Most nannies quit positions due to parents, not charges. No matter how terrible a child's phase is, the nanny can remind herself that this is a child, it's a phase, it will pass. With parents, a nanny has to breathe, stay calm, and not scream at them when they are being completely unreasonable. I've had some great employers, while others were horrible. One dad told me at least once a week that he wished he could afford to pay me what I was worth and he was grateful that I was there with his family even though we both knew that I could make more elsewhere. Another dad told me that I was worthless and tried to rape me. I give every employer the benefit of the doubt, hoping that they will do what is best for the child. As long as I can see that the intent is to do the best for the child, I can and will put up with many things from the parents, and I will do it while smiling and not saying a word. If the intent behind the latest scheme is obviously not in the child's best interest, nothing will keep me from speaking my mind to them, but I will do it in private when all heads are cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have any tricks to bond with a new child in your care? How about the parents you are newly working for?

I show up with toys.

I have a nanny bag I bring to work every day. It is about the size of one of those reusable grocery bags. In it, I have stuff for me, like hand lotion, cell phone charger, notepad and pen, bottled water, etc. I also always have about ten small toys in my nanny bag. Right now in my nanny bag I have a small flashlight, a kids card game, the musical mechanism from a music box, a kids activities book, a book (sideways stories from wayside school), a tiny doll, an hourglass egg timer, a buzz lightyear, a toy car, two unactivated cell phones with games for the kids on them, masking tape and kids scissors. My current charges are 9,7,6,and 3.

I switch things out periodically so there is some new toy in my nanny bag every few weeks. Sometimes I show up with a craft or a board game.

If it is day one with a new family, the kids are enthralled to see that I show up with toys and activities. If it is day 341 the kids are enthralled to discover there is something new in my nanny bag.

Also, I find it rather amazing how, if I sit on the floor, the children come right to me. If I sit on the couch, it is almost like I became invisible to the little ones.

As for winning over the parents, they want to know that I am trustworthy, competent, reliable, safe, and that the kids like me. At interview, I have shown them background check documentation and they have called references. But really, it is a matter of proving to them, day after day, that I am indeed trustworthy, competent, and reliable. Until eventually they don't worry at all anymore.

[Anonymous]

Do a good job.

Do all the things promised in your interview. Be on time.
Trust takes time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do a good job.

Do all the things promised in your interview. Be on time.
Trust takes time.

Yes, two-way street.

[Anonymous]

My new positions are usually working with young infants. Babies will bond with anyone who is warm and can confidently care for them. The parents are usually new nervous parents. I use a logging app that I update throughout the day that they can check in real time whenever they like. I upload pictures, log activities we do, as well as sleep and feeding times. I come in every morning a little early, happy, and enthusiastic. Just started a new job position this week and they're already in love!