Why is hiring a nanny so stressful

[Anonymous]

Sorry - needed a place to vent. I feel like there may be readers here who would understand. I am so tired of reading au pair profiles and care.com applicant emails...
We all want that perfect nanny, who will dearly love and take care of our children while teaching them great skills and helping them develop their cognitive and motor abilities (and somehow be within our paycheck affordability). After all, that perfect nanny is the one who spends 8am to 5pm with our little ones... We want it to be the right fit. Very tiring process.

[Anonymous]

Good luck! I had some pretty good luck on care.com, actually. I know a lot about child development, pp, and I will tell you that the main thing you want is someone who comes from a stable home and is NOT CRAZY. Motor and cognitive development will come.

[Anonymous]

MB here. My best luck has always been with neighborhood lsitservs - mom to mom referrals.

But I would give you one piece of advice - don't look for "that perfect nanny". Perfection doesn't exist and you're setting yourself up for failure.

Look for someone whose core values seem to naturally fit with yours, someone for whom the job (inclusive of compensation, benefits, hours, etc...) you are offering is a great fit - you want them to be really happy with what you can offer. Look for someone you instinctively like. Look for someone with terrific, honest, references. Look for someone who asks smart questions, listens to your answers, can have direct conversations with you without giving you pat, canned answers. Look for someone who seems to genuinely enjoy your child or the age range of your child.

Spend A LOT of time deciding what things are deal breakers to you and hire to that - don't try to hire for every little thing. Is maintaining a schedule critically important to you, but trying to achieve early reading skills isn't? Then hire with all of that in mind. (Or whatever your must haves and deal breakers are.)

Etc...

Good luck! It is hard, and stressful for sure.

[Anonymous]

Oh, and that was more than one piece of advice, obviously. Sorry! I got on a roll.

[Anonymous]

It is hard a stressful and I hate. So many of the applicants are just not at all what you'd want.

[Anonymous]

One mother said that finding me was more stressful than "finding" a good husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry - needed a place to vent. I feel like there may be readers here who would understand. I am so tired of reading au pair profiles and care.com applicant emails...
We all want that perfect nanny, who will dearly love and take care of our children while teaching them great skills and helping them develop their cognitive and motor abilities (and somehow be within our paycheck affordability). After all, that perfect nanny is the one who spends 8am to 5pm with our little ones... We want it to be the right fit. Very tiring process.

Because you are hiring a surrogate mother to do the things you should be doing for your child(ren). You feel guilty, rightfully so, and try to hire what you wish you were.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry - needed a place to vent. I feel like there may be readers here who would understand. I am so tired of reading au pair profiles and care.com applicant emails...
We all want that perfect nanny, who will dearly love and take care of our children while teaching them great skills and helping them develop their cognitive and motor abilities (and somehow be within our paycheck affordability). After all, that perfect nanny is the one who spends 8am to 5pm with our little ones... We want it to be the right fit. Very tiring process.

Because you are hiring a surrogate mother to do the things you should be doing for your child(ren). You feel guilty, rightfully so, and try to hire what you wish you were.

Perhaps. And perhaps OP is doing the best she can, knows what she is capable of doing and is hiring someone to support when and where it's needed.

[Anonymous]

If only more parents would admit that they just can't have/do "it all." No one can. It takes a village who cares for one another. Irresponsible control freak parents are the worst failures, imo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry - needed a place to vent. I feel like there may be readers here who would understand. I am so tired of reading au pair profiles and care.com applicant emails...
We all want that perfect nanny, who will dearly love and take care of our children while teaching them great skills and helping them develop their cognitive and motor abilities (and somehow be within our paycheck affordability). After all, that perfect nanny is the one who spends 8am to 5pm with our little ones... We want it to be the right fit. Very tiring process.

Because you are hiring a surrogate mother to do the things you should be doing for your child(ren). You feel guilty, rightfully so, and try to hire what you wish you were.

This is an example of a nanny you do not want

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry - needed a place to vent. I feel like there may be readers here who would understand. I am so tired of reading au pair profiles and care.com applicant emails...
We all want that perfect nanny, who will dearly love and take care of our children while teaching them great skills and helping them develop their cognitive and motor abilities (and somehow be within our paycheck affordability). After all, that perfect nanny is the one who spends 8am to 5pm with our little ones... We want it to be the right fit. Very tiring process.

Because you are hiring a surrogate mother to do the things you should be doing for your child(ren). You feel guilty, rightfully so, and try to hire what you wish you were.

This is an example of a nanny you do not want

You are an example of an insecure parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry - needed a place to vent. I feel like there may be readers here who would understand. I am so tired of reading au pair profiles and care.com applicant emails...
We all want that perfect nanny, who will dearly love and take care of our children while teaching them great skills and helping them develop their cognitive and motor abilities (and somehow be within our paycheck affordability). After all, that perfect nanny is the one who spends 8am to 5pm with our little ones... We want it to be the right fit. Very tiring process.

Because you are hiring a surrogate mother to do the things you should be doing for your child(ren). You feel guilty, rightfully so, and try to hire what you wish you were.

This is an example of a nanny you do not want

That's for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If only more parents would admit that they just can't have/do "it all." No one can. It takes a village who cares for one another. Irresponsible control freak parents are the worst failures, imo.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it can be very tiring indeed, but so worth every minute, phone call, background check, etc.

Nothing will be more important for you than to find like you stated, the perfect nanny for your child.

If it seems like a full-time job in itself, you could be right. However nothing in life will ever be a better investment of your time and effort. I can promise you that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it can be very tiring indeed, but so worth every minute, phone call, background check, etc.

Nothing will be more important for you than to find like you stated, the perfect nanny for your child.

If it seems like a full-time job in itself, you could be right. However nothing in life will ever be a better investment of your time and effort. I can promise you that.

Very well said. Thank you.