How to bring up child is a bed wetter

[Anonymous]

I'm sure the parents know, but they aren't taking action. Boy is almost 9, when I wake him in the morning, some days his bed is wet. Sometimes I mention to him, to wipe himself down before putting on his clothes so he doesn't smell. I am a live-in nanny, but I am a nanny, they have a cleaning crew that comes in. I am alarmed that the mom makes him sleep in the same pissy sheets.. This is a touchy subject and I am sure she's aware of this, but I think he should wear the big kid nighty pants or she ahould put pads on his bed so he isn't sleeping on the same dirty sheets. How would you all handle this , specifically nannies.

[Anonymous]

If you aren't bringing it up you are failing as a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Poor kid. I come from a long line of late bed wetters. My (lovely, successful, well-adjusted) aunt wet occasionally until she left for college! My brother sometimes wet until 11 or 12, and my son had his last nighttime accident at 8. At least we're moving in the right direction.

Anyway, you should talk to the mom about it. She really needs to make sure he goes to the bathroom TWICE before bed: once before brushing teeth, reading, etc., and once right before he climbs into bed. That made all the difference for my son (and for lots of other kids, apparently.)

I wouldn't put him back in pullups for sure. In the morning, if he's wet, don't make him feel embarrassed. Just ask him to please strip the bed so you can toss the sheets into the wash. He can help you remake it in the evening.

Please understand that he isn't doing anything wrong here. No one wants to wet the bed. Don't make a big deal out of it--just be matter-of-fact and sympathetic.

[Anonymous]

Live-in nanny here. My default is to deal with the child rather than the parent in this situation. In your case, he's old enough to strip the bed, shower, get dressed and bring down the sheets and pajamas. I prefer to have the child dump them on the laundry room floor so that I can soak them in vinegar for 20-30 minutes, because it helps cut the smell. I make sure that they're washed and waiting on the child's bed when they get home from school and we make the bed while talking about the school day, then we go about the normal routine. As long as the parents know that the child is still wetting the bed, I don't see a reason to make a big deal about it to them. On the other hand, my job is to help the kids grow. Part of that is learning when and how to clean themselves, part is showing them that they can be responsible for their things (stripping the bed and bringing everything down to the laundry room without being reminded), part is making sure that they have a routine so that it happens less often. Personally, I've found that limiting starches throughout the day, and increasing the amount of vegetables and water until about 2 hours before bed works. I also agree with 11.05 that going to the bathroom needs to be part of the routine, but times can vary (for one charge it was about 2 hours before bed, then 30 minutes before then just before he crawled into bed; for another charge it was 30 minutes before then bedtime). Frankly, helping kids learn to deal with bedwetting and working with them to make the occurrences less frequent is part of why I prefer to live-in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Live-in nanny here. My default is to deal with the child rather than the parent in this situation. In your case, he's old enough to strip the bed, shower, get dressed and bring down the sheets and pajamas. I prefer to have the child dump them on the laundry room floor so that I can soak them in vinegar for 20-30 minutes, because it helps cut the smell. I make sure that they're washed and waiting on the child's bed when they get home from school and we make the bed while talking about the school day, then we go about the normal routine. As long as the parents know that the child is still wetting the bed, I don't see a reason to make a big deal about it to them. On the other hand, my job is to help the kids grow. Part of that is learning when and how to clean themselves, part is showing them that they can be responsible for their things (stripping the bed and bringing everything down to the laundry room without being reminded), part is making sure that they have a routine so that it happens less often. Personally, I've found that limiting starches throughout the day, and increasing the amount of vegetables and water until about 2 hours before bed works. I also agree with 11.05 that going to the bathroom needs to be part of the routine, but times can vary (for one charge it was about 2 hours before bed, then 30 minutes before then just before he crawled into bed; for another charge it was 30 minutes before then bedtime). Frankly, helping kids learn to deal with bedwetting and working with them to make the occurrences less frequent is part of why I prefer to live-in.

+1 Agree. I'm a big believer in kids cleaning up their own accidents - and I begin as soon as the kid is potty training, so of course I'd consider a 9 yo old enough.

I'd mention it in passing to the parents just confirming that they're aware, but I wouldn't make a big issue about it.

[Anonymous]

NP here.

You could also set an alarm clock for him in the middle of the night (you need his parents for this) to go to the bathroom.

Someone suggested that in the "teen" forum.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/512390.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Live-in nanny here. My default is to deal with the child rather than the parent in this situation. In your case, he's old enough to strip the bed, shower, get dressed and bring down the sheets and pajamas. I prefer to have the child dump them on the laundry room floor so that I can soak them in vinegar for 20-30 minutes, because it helps cut the smell. I make sure that they're washed and waiting on the child's bed when they get home from school and we make the bed while talking about the school day, then we go about the normal routine. As long as the parents know that the child is still wetting the bed, I don't see a reason to make a big deal about it to them. On the other hand, my job is to help the kids grow. Part of that is learning when and how to clean themselves, part is showing them that they can be responsible for their things (stripping the bed and bringing everything down to the laundry room without being reminded), part is making sure that they have a routine so that it happens less often. Personally, I've found that limiting starches throughout the day, and increasing the amount of vegetables and water until about 2 hours before bed works. I also agree with 11.05 that going to the bathroom needs to be part of the routine, but times can vary (for one charge it was about 2 hours before bed, then 30 minutes before then just before he crawled into bed; for another charge it was 30 minutes before then bedtime). Frankly, helping kids learn to deal with bedwetting and working with them to make the occurrences less frequent is part of why I prefer to live-in.

+1 Agree. I'm a big believer in kids cleaning up their own accidents - and I begin as soon as the kid is potty training, so of course I'd consider a 9 yo old enough.

I'd mention it in passing to the parents just confirming that they're aware, but I wouldn't make a big issue about it.

OP HERE! Thanks!! I never make a big scene or even mention it around his other brother, but I'll be sure to have extra sheets around so he can strip his bed, and I can replace the sheets before night. I think I'll also start waking him up 5 mins earlier in case he needs to wash up before breakfast ( they normally shower at night) the family I was with before: boys 6 & 9 when they moved away, but they were still in night pull ups, so they never got out of it from toddlers that's why I mentioned it, but that wouldn't be a good idea considering the current kid I nanny probably hasn't been in pull ups since he was 3/4yo thanks a lot !!

[nannydebsays]

You might also try layering a second set of sheets and some thick towels or a waterproof pad on his bed. Then he could take the wet towels/sheets off if he wakes wet in the middle of the night.

Layer like this: Mattress protector, sheets, second waterproof pad, second set of sheets, towels.

[Anonymous]

nannydebsays wrote:You might also try layering a second set of sheets and some thick towels or a waterproof pad on his bed. Then he could take the wet towels/sheets off if he wakes wet in the middle of the night.

Layer like this: Mattress protector, sheets, second waterproof pad, second set of sheets, towels.

I do this but a little different - full waterproof/bed bug protector, waterproof pad, sheet, waterproof pad, sheet, waterproof pad, sheet so you can just pull off the top layer and its clean. You need to talk to the parents as if you are waking him up, it is probably dry when the child goes to bed and they do not know or notice. He's probably fine but needs to go to the doc to get checked out to make sure everything is ok.

P.S. forget towels - pee will soak through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Live-in nanny here. My default is to deal with the child rather than the parent in this situation. In your case, he's old enough to strip the bed, shower, get dressed and bring down the sheets and pajamas. I prefer to have the child dump them on the laundry room floor so that I can soak them in vinegar for 20-30 minutes, because it helps cut the smell. I make sure that they're washed and waiting on the child's bed when they get home from school and we make the bed while talking about the school day, then we go about the normal routine. As long as the parents know that the child is still wetting the bed, I don't see a reason to make a big deal about it to them. On the other hand, my job is to help the kids grow. Part of that is learning when and how to clean themselves, part is showing them that they can be responsible for their things (stripping the bed and bringing everything down to the laundry room without being reminded), part is making sure that they have a routine so that it happens less often. Personally, I've found that limiting starches throughout the day, and increasing the amount of vegetables and water until about 2 hours before bed works. I also agree with 11.05 that going to the bathroom needs to be part of the routine, but times can vary (for one charge it was about 2 hours before bed, then 30 minutes before then just before he crawled into bed; for another charge it was 30 minutes before then bedtime). Frankly, helping kids learn to deal with bedwetting and working with them to make the occurrences less frequent is part of why I prefer to live-in.

+1 Agree. I'm a big believer in kids cleaning up their own accidents - and I begin as soon as the kid is potty training, so of course I'd consider a 9 yo old enough.

I'd mention it in passing to the parents just confirming that they're aware, but I wouldn't make a big issue about it.

OP HERE! Thanks!! I never make a big scene or even mention it around his other brother, but I'll be sure to have extra sheets around so he can strip his bed, and I can replace the sheets before night. I think I'll also start waking him up 5 mins earlier in case he needs to wash up before breakfast ( they normally shower at night) the family I was with before: boys 6 & 9 when they moved away, but they were still in night pull ups, so they never got out of it from toddlers that's why I mentioned it, but that wouldn't be a good idea considering the current kid I nanny probably hasn't been in pull ups since he was 3/4yo thanks a lot !!

I would talk with the parents about moving his shower to the morning. A quick wash by a 9 year old will not get rid of the pee, but a shower in the morning will. If it's a routine that he can shower every morning, it'll be less obvious to the brother that he peed the bed.

I would caution you not to make the bed for him, have him help you. He's likely to feel like he has no control over his own body, so show him that you want to help him control the aftermath, and that once he can make the bed by himself, you'll step back and let him do it for himself.