Pre-match, APs questions are a bit worriesome
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Anonymous
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So we have selected an au pair we would like ot match with. She just sent me an email asking (among other things)
what clothes to bring and if we go shopping in the beginning to buy her clothes. This has me a little spooked as I wonder about her expectations. She also asked questions that seemed as if she isn't getting much info on the program (e.g. will we pay her a weekly stipened, can we help her find classes to take, if she can use our washer and dryer). Does this sound concerning? |
Anonymous
| buying clothes for her is concerning. although she might meant, you take her to a store, and she buys the clothes. definitely worth clarifying. i've learned in my future au pair interviews to stress what being an au pair, and what it isn't - and what we provide, and what we don't. i do think the agency send mixed messages - and in many ways sell a dream. in the future, i'm going to make sure that being an au pair is a job - but that it comes with a range of benefits. |
Anonymous
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What agency are you with OP? I would reach out to your LCC and get them to talk to her about what her expectations are and then get their feedback.
If you aren't liking that idea, I would email a series of questions clarifying her questions, so she can take her time getting back to you. It does sound like she's not getting much info. |
Anonymous
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I don't necessarily think these questions are worrisome. About the clothes, I would assume she meant something like' what clothes should I bring, and will you take me shopping to buy what I am missing' (maybe this is winter arrival with southern APs?).
It is strange that she would ask about the stipend, but maybe she is just crossing her t's. Same for washer/dryer. You never know what stories she might have heard from other APs about crazy host families! And help finding classes is a legitimate question in my book. Somehow I expected this post to be about AP asking stuff like: what type of car will I be driving, or where will you take me on vacation. I would be more worried about that... |
Anonymous
| OP here, she did ask "which type of car will I drive" but I thought she meant stick or automatic... |
Anonymous
That's very possible. But now I am thinking that if we can't really figure out what she means, maybe she is not a great communicator... |
Anonymous
| The confusion could be a language issue. The questions could be benign or could be fishing to see how luxurious life will be. |
Anonymous
| I dunno. They definitely strike me as odd questions that no prospective au pair has ever asked us. |
Anonymous
It may be a language issue. 1) I would be happy to take you shopping so you can purchase what you need when you arrive. You will be responsible for purchasing. 2) Yes, the weekly stipend per the agency is XXX 3) I'd be happy to help you find a class. 4) Please feel free to use our washer/dryer as needed. No, not concerning. She may have heard others talk about bad experiences. |
Anonymous
What agency are you with? This is basic information she should have received when interviewed. Or even before that - simply by reading a brochure about the US AP program. |
Anonymous
+1 I haven't had these questions before, but they woukdnt cause me too much concern. I woukd think the question about the car is to determine stick or automatic or compact v SUV. If driving is a required part of her job, thus woukdnt strike me as off either. I would think she was just trying to get a better understanding if whether her experiences align with your car. |
Anonymous
| I would also consider what type of HM you are and how much hand-holding you can do. E.g., I had an AP candidate that asked me what she should do with her luggage if she had to go to the bathroom on her way down to DC (traveling by train). There were other reasons why I passed but the question really spooked me about what kind of a person is this as she didn't sound like having common sense. |
Anonymous
| Not to be brutal, but I ignored early signs like this twice and rematched on both. Spare yourself and the AP the headaches and just move on to a different candidate. You might love her, but these characteristics become considerably less charming when you live with them. |
Anonymous
| what country is she from? |
Anonymous
| Frankly it's reasons like this that my DW and I decided against getting an au pair. We live in the exurbs and don't want some 19-year-old that's mad because she can't just waltz over to the Metro like some of her friends are able to and live the "Sex and the City" lifestyle. |