Big Dilemma, bad vibe with prospective nanny

[Anonymous]

We needed someone to fill in on short notice for our nanny who needed some personal days off from tomorrow until mid next week. We interviewed lady X, whose work experience turns out to be very sketchy, she didn't keep eye contact at all during the interview, seemed to elude questions etc .... when I introduced her to my husband, DC and our nanny she just waved... After our nanny left, she texted me to say that Lady X seemed very off, DC and DH didn't like her either. She looked very nervous though when I asked to see her license... Her background checked out clean. The mistake I made was to tell her "see you on Friday" before talking to my husband ... I was so desperate to have someone fill in ... I know this doesn't sound good on my part. Anyhow, yesterday our nanny informed me that she will be available tomorrow if I need her. DH does not think Lady X is a good fit but he is letting me have a final say. Parents, what would you do?

[Anonymous]

Trust your gut. At this point, you need to pay her for Friday and pay your nanny, but just tell her you're sorry and you don't need her after all.

She may just be a bad communicator, but it sounds like you don't have references to check to find out.

Also, sign up with an agency for interim care! It's worth the $$ for peace of mind.

[Anonymous]

MB here and there is no question. Do not use Lady X. Period.

Ask your nanny to come tomorrow if she can. Call an agency and get someone from them (who will have had a background check, employment verification, previous experience through the agency that can be documented, etc...)

I use MetroParentRelief for exactly this kind of coverage and it's been great. It's always stressful when you have someone new, but I absolutely would not ever use anyone about whom I had the kind of reservations you detail above.

And I don't think you need to pay her for tomorrow - just email her right now and say you're very sorry but your circumstances have changed and you won't be needing her help after all. If you want to go ahead and pay her something for tomorrow that's quite generous but that's your call.

Never leave your child with someone about whom you have reservations, and especially not if you, your husband AND your nanny all expressed some concerns.

[Anonymous]

Why are you even asking? Why do you need confirmation from an anonymous chat room to affirm your feelings?

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on when she had the interview as to whether or not she needs to pay her (ethically, not legally, obviously). If the interview was yesterday, then, no. But if it was last week, then she's cancelling too late for Lady X to find more work, and I think she should.

Lady X just made her uncomfortable. She might be a fabulous babysitter. She thought she had the gig, and the right thing to do when cancelling at the last minute is to pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on when she had the interview as to whether or not she needs to pay her (ethically, not legally, obviously). If the interview was yesterday, then, no. But if it was last week, then she's cancelling too late for Lady X to find more work, and I think she should.

Lady X just made her uncomfortable. She might be a fabulous babysitter. She thought she had the gig, and the right thing to do when cancelling at the last minute is to pay.

Yup, good point.

[Anonymous]

Always trust your instincts. Don't use this lady ever.

[Anonymous]

I didn't hire someone because my dog didn't seem to like her. My dog is my gut. Listen to your gut.

[Anonymous]

you take 2 days off work, husband takes 2 day off work.
no big deal. if you were sick you'd have to take time off.

[Anonymous]

Don't hire her.

Also maybe think about doing some work to explore why you don't feel you can trust yourself to make these decisions.

[Anonymous]

These are your CHILDREN and you are worried about saving face?? Come on!

[Anonymous]

Call or text or message her & apologize for letting her know she has the position.

You don't have to out-rightly tell her that you, your nanny & the rest of your family didn't take too well to her, just be broad and let her know there has been a change in plans. That is pretty truthful.

Sure, she may be a little miffed, but for only a temp position of this sort, she will get over it.

Do it for your precious child. Even though her background check came out okay, she seems a little off to me by your description. I don't think I would even let her watch my pet goldfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you even asking? Why do you need confirmation from an anonymous chat room to affirm your feelings?

Why are you such an ass? Just curious.