HELP!! 8 month old never sleep trained, hardly sleeps 3 hours....

[Anonymous]

I'm caring for an eight month old that doesn't sleep well at all! Mom says, well, my kids aren't really sleepers , but as caregivers, we all know, this is not healthy for growth and development. Literally, sleeps EXACTLY 30 minutes and up fussy and only has 2 naps a day (which these are not!).

I didn't start as the caregiver until recently, so, not sure how to approach without being pushy. Noticed many issues, such as, not rolling over at all (still sleeping on back), keeps hands up and out away from body a majority of the time, so, leans over to grab bottle with mouth, not her hands and doesn't have good control of it. Also, not sure if has ever had much tummy time, if any because strength in head a bit weak and not moving legs at all, when sitting, hump in back with legs straight out that looks uncomfortable. She screams when falls over and when on back, fusses out of frustration because wants to get up and just uses her feet to push body up. I'm not a caregiver that feels as though child must hit exact milestones at exact age, but this seems a concern to me.

As far as sleeping, I really don't have the time to sleep train the way I would like because of other sibling and schedule. I know a majority of the issues are room not dark enough, pictures and long shelves of books on wall, which immediately draws attention when waking, mommy still rocking to sleep and going in room if continues to cry. I told her to just let her CIO, because she needs to soothe herself back to sleep and she will continue as long as you go back in the room to hold and rock.

Not sure what next step should be, due to never experiencing issue like this. Am I being to pushy or insensitive if I ask mom to speak with doctor in regards to delay in milestones and also, ask again if she would mind trying not rocking till falls asleep and not going back into room???

This family is really nice, but due to previous poor childcare and parents working many, many hours, not sure if they understand how challenging this is. I want to do as much as I can to encourage them and understand my questions and concerns are in the best interest of the child.

[Anonymous]

I never did sleep training with my kids and rocked them to sleep until about 13 or 14 months when they both decided to stop nd go right to bed. Our wonderful nanny also rocked them both to sleep during the day and loved it.

Talk to your employer gently about possible developmental delays and mention things that could be easily fixed (like black out shades) but forget about CIO ir any other training you might feel appropriate - it is not your call.

[Anonymous]

Some kid never nap. Mine didn't start napping till 1. They just dosed for 20 minutes or so at a time. You sound very controlling. I have no issue with some CIO but not in your situation as you want child to nap for your needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some kid never nap. Mine didn't start napping till 1. They just dosed for 20 minutes or so at a time. You sound very controlling. I have no issue with some CIO but not in your situation as you want child to nap for your needs.

This is an uneducated assumption that the nanny would like a baby to nap for "her needs". All babies need daytime and nighttime sleep. A restful nap is between 90min and 2 hours, sometimes a little more. The benefits of naps are well documented. A non napper is fussier and generally has a harder time controlling their emotions since they are constantly overtired. Their problem solving skills suffer, and can have increased anxiety. OP you need to create a healthy sleep routien for your charge. If your not sure where to start check out The Baby Whisper by Tracy Hogg(it's one of the gentler methods) which is what your MB seems to want. Here is the link http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Whisperer-Solves-Your-Problems/dp/0743488946/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1442618189&sr=8-1&keywords=the+baby+whisperer+book

Here are a few more links to support why sleep is so important! Educate yourself, and then approach your MB with the facts and a plan!


http://www.webmd.com/children/features/good-sound-sleep-for-children

http://www.parenting.com/blogs/show-and-tell/sasha-parentingcom/naps-essential-toddler-emotional-development

[Anonymous]

Thanks 19:17! It's sad that some don't understand that 20-30 minutes isn't even considered a nap and that many parents believe, the less they sleep during the day means they'll sleep great for me at night. If you read thoroughly, the issue isn't about me wanting child to sleep for my benefit, although, I believe a nanny is allowed a break! My concern is my other charge and not being able to provide them the attention they need as well. It's so beyond that and I'm not a controlling nanny, I'm a nanny that believes in providing the best for my charges and setting up a proper routine and work for the parents so they are able to sleep and not deal with an extremely overtired little one after a hard day of work.

I will check out the info you suggested. I feel so bad because by the end of the day, she's so tired, she looks like a zombie and can hardly focus during dinner. On the other hand, talked to MB about picking up oldest early from school, so, can take somewhere fun for one on one time.

[Anonymous]

Your welcome OP hope it helps. A nice schedule really brings peace to the day!

[Anonymous]

Well the sleeping issue I wouldn't touch because some parents are very against CIO and I think you were out of line for suggesting it. There is nothing wrong with a child needing to be rocked to sleep. As I said it's up to the parents and it's your job to follow their wishes. I would be a little worried about the delays though. You need to start increasing the amounts of tummy time. It's ok if the child get a little upset and frustrated during it. Try propping an interesting book up in front of her.

[Anonymous]

Are you a doctor? No? Then get your facts straight. Cat naps are very normal, and some kids consolidate sleep at night. Two of my kids napped but one was a Crappy napper like that. Doctor was not concerned. He slept through the night almost from birth and it was a very long chunk.

So, it really depends how the kids overall sleep is. If kid sleeps 14 hours through at night then I doubt parents will want to mess with it. If the kid sleeps badly at bed too, maybe they will be willing to address it.

But I wouldn't recommend you suggest CIO. If they were amenable to that they'd have done it already.

The developmental delays (potentially) should be brought up but I wouldn't assume they are related at all.