Next time should I just pretend everything is fine? Dog woes.

[Anonymous]

I recently started working with a new family, first time parents with an infant (now four months old). I started a few weeks ago, and MB has been asking me to send frequent updates and check ins to her via text. Mostly everything has gone well, so most of my updates are about his milk intake, walks we took, etc.

Their dog, a lab puppy (MB confessed to me that they went and bought an 8 week old puppy the week after she found out she was expecting) has been something of a challenge. I told MB and DB the day of the interview that the dog was the one thing that concerned me about the position. She isn't aggressive, but she is very active, barks a lot, and is just a handful. MB and DB assured me that she is going to start mellowing out soon (she's a year old now), and said I could put her in the backyard if she got too annoying.

Well she's always under foot; I can't put the baby down in his play mat or she either walks on top of him or will chew on the baby's toys, etc. When I try to leave her in the backyard she barks non-stop. I don't want to take her on walks because MB has said she tugs on the leash too much and frankly I don't want to pick up the dogs poop, but really walking the dog shouldn't be my responsibility (their backyard is big, I try to throw her toys so she chases them in the yard but every time she brings the toys back it's a long tug of war struggle that gets annoying and I don't have time for that when I've got the baby to care for. Also I work a later shift, 11am-6:30pm, and MB had told me she would "make sure to take the dog for a long walk" before I arrive but the last two times I showed up she "hadn't had time" so she hadn't been walked and had extra energy).

Anyway, the last two days MB had texted me asking how things were going, and I told her the truth: the baby is doing great (drank x ounces, etc) but the dog has been whining and barking a lot and woke him up from his naps early barking outside his door. When DB (who relieves me) arrived home yesterday he gave me a big lecture about how I just have to accept that she's a puppy and sometimes she wakes up the baby. He asked me if I was "uncomfortable" working with their family because of the dog, and made a really big deal about it. Although I do find the dog frustrating it was never a deal breaker for me and I don't want to stop working for them because of her! If anything I had hoped my complaining would make MB realize how important it is to take her for a morning walk before I arrive. Their baby is so adorable and a happy little guy; the dog is annoying but not the end of the world.

I assured DB that I had just been trying to update MB (as she requested) with what was going on at home and that it wasn't that big of a deal to me and I understand she's a puppy, and I think still getting used to me, etc. He said okay, have a good night. On the way home I texted MB who was still at work to say I'm sorry if I upset her, I wasn't that upset about the dog and we're still getting used to each other, and so forth. I ended the text with "Can't wait to see you and DS on Tuesday, have a great weekend! " She replied with "That's okay! Thanks for your help."

I know I'm reading into this a lot but isn't it strange she didn't say anything like see you soon or see you Tuesday? I really hope they won't replace me because of issues with the dog or because they think I'm complaining too much?? Assuming that I don't get a text from them telling me we're not a good fit, next time if she asks for an update I feel like I should definitely not mention the dog and just pretend everything is fine even if it isn't. What do you make of all this?

[Anonymous]

They are probably doing all that they are going to do with the dog and are worried that you aren't handling working in a home with a puppy very well.

From now on, I would focus on solutions that you can implement from your end. For floor time, can you lock the dog in a particular room? Or would baby hates be helpful to contain him maybe? Could you spend time out in the yard with he baby and the dog? The dog might bark less with you there.

I think they are just letting no you know that the dog is a part of the package here and they need a nanny that can handle that. They do their best to walk the dog before work, but sometimes it won't happen. Be proactive with solutions instead of complaints and you will be fine!

[Anonymous]

Going forward you need to understand that if you accept a position with a dog, the dog is as much your responsibility as the baby. When the baby is napping you should take 5-10 minutes in the back yard just playing with the dog, or suck it up and take the dog on a walk with you. Try to get her to go to the bathroom in the backyard before you take her on a walk with you and the baby. Honestly, it doesn't sound like you are a great fit for the family. I love working with families with dogs because I love dogs and I love the variety a dog gives my day, but that isn't for everyone.

[Anonymous]

I think if a family has pets then you will always end up caring for them in some way. I have taken dogs for walks even when its not part of my duties-if I was taking the baby for a walk anyway I didn't see it as a hardship.
Maybe they feel you have been too negative about the dog.

[Anonymous]

OP here, thanks for the responses.

17:50 you offer some very helpful insights; thank you. When I've taken the dog outside I wear the baby in his carrier. There isn't anywhere safe to put him down in the back yard (the dog has dug it up so it's mostly dirt and mud, plus again she has a tendency to walk on top of him. The fact that the baby is in his carrier is why I don't like the tug of war (she jerks me around quite a bit). The carrier is the only way he's been able to nap lately and MB had asked that I use it for nap times; we keep trying with the crib but he won't stay asleep in it.

They also have baby gates up for the dog but whenever I lock her away from us she whines and barks the whole time.

I realize I didn't say it outright but the dog was noticeably much more whiny and barky the days she didn't get a walk in, but I do understand that it's not always possible. I agree that if I say anything in the future I'll try to make it more solution based.

17:51 I have to point out that my last position, which lasted three years, had TWO dogs in the family, and I happily fed them and let them into the yard a couple times a day. They were well trained (and not puppies) and it was never a problem. Again, this is why I had expressed concerns in the interview, but it was MB and DB who insisted it would be fine. I have to say it seems really short sighted to say I'm not a good fit for the family when EVERYTHING else (especially baby related) is going perfectly, and yes, she will grow out of puppyhood high needs likely within the next year anyway.

In any case I will definitely do what I can to manage things myself and not complain about the dog any more. Thanks again.

[Anonymous]

I'd do some research into doggy daycare or a dog walker. My employers send their dog to daycare M-F approximately 10-2 so they know she is getting enough exercise and stimulation. Our people pick her up and then drop her back off. Isn't too expensive and really makes everyone happier since I have 3 toddlers to look after and MB and DB have extremely busy jobs.

Also remember that Labs tend to always have lots of energy and do not grow out of puppyhood as early as many other dogs. If she is not being trained properly then she will likely be a handful for several more years.

[Anonymous]

They need a dog walker each day to come walk and play with the dog. You are there for the baby. I say this as a parent. Puppies are a hassle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They need a dog walker each day to come walk and play with the dog. You are there for the baby. I say this as a parent. Puppies are a hassle.

+1 It isn't fair to the dog, let alone you and the baby. That poor dog is bored.

[Anonymous]

I don't know how to train a dog but if I were in your shoes I'd be trying to figure it out to make sure the dog knows you're the pack leader and when you snap your fingers and say LAY DOWN or STOP BARKING the dogs knows it has to listen to you. Other than that the parents are failing you and the dog by not putting it in obedience classes.

[Anonymous]

Agree, they need a dog walker. My families with dogs have always had one. If it isn't in your contract then no, dog is not your responsibility despite what PP may claim.

[Anonymous]

It's a year old. It isn't a puppy. It needs to be walked and if they aren't doing they they suck as owners. It isn't acceptable for the dog to wake the baby and the dad is dumb to make that comment.

I say this as a Mb with a dog who Gets regular exercise and isn't allowed to run roughshod over the kid or the nanny because he has been trained.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They need a dog walker each day to come walk and play with the dog. You are there for the baby. I say this as a parent. Puppies are a hassle.

Agreed. We have a dag walker come every day and our dog gets a half hour walk. I only ask our nanny to throw the dog in the back to go to the bathroom. The dog is in no way her responsibility. I think the parents are insensitive and out of touch in regards of how irritating a puppy and being home with a baby all day can be.

[Anonymous]

They need a dog walker, stat.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, OP. You certainly sis not deserve a lecture form DB. I would sit down and talk to them about how they want to handle their dog as time moves forward and their baby gets more active. Especially make DB understand that reporting about the dog and complaining about the dog are very different things -- you are looking for a solution together.

[Anonymous]

Labs have a 3 year puppyhood so dog is not going to mellow out anytiime soon. Dog also wants attention from you. The parents should have taken the dog to obedience school a long time ago and they definitely need to do so now.

I doubt employers will spring for dog walker but the dog does need the exercise and the change of scenery everyday to keep from getting so bored. He digs because he is bored and using his energy in a negative way.

It isn't the poor dogs fault as he is just being a dog. But it shouldn't be your problem either. They should take him on a long (minimum 30 minute) walk every morning and this will help him to be a bit calmer.