is this really a huge deal?

[Anonymous]

Today my nanny suggested that she might go get a child-related errand done, about 2 blocks away, while the 2.5 and 1.5 year old were napping at home (alone)! I was just so shocked by this, and not sure what to do. To be fair, she did ASK if I thought this is okay, but I am really shaken up and not sure how I feel about someone who would even imagine this is okay watching my children. Am I over reacting? What should I do?

[Anonymous]

Not ok and probably illegal.

[Anonymous]

Where did you find her? Care.com?

[Anonymous]

You are not over-reacting. It is actually illegal, but that should be secondary. It's completely unacceptable for a nanny (or any adult really, but certainly someone you're paying to watch your child) to think children this age can be left alone.

I don't even understand how she is so oblivious that she actually asked?!

Honestly I would consider this an indicator of such poor judgment that I would replace her.

It really doesn't get more fundamental than this. You simply do not leave two toddlers alone in a building.

Unbelievable.

[Anonymous]

no- neighborhood listserve with great recommendations! To clarify, I told her NO, she could NEVER leave the children at home alone (which I would think is obvious!), but not sure if I need to do or say something else... do I need to tell the family we have the nanny share with? Do I look for another nanny? She is "okay" overall, but the kids really like her and are bonded with her and I hate to upset that, especially as we had one nanny for 6 1/2 years before moving here and loosing that bond was already tough...

[Anonymous]

I can't believe educated parents would hire someone like that.

[Anonymous]

She's clearly not a professional.

[Anonymous]

Please let this be a troll post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are not over-reacting. It is actually illegal, but that should be secondary. It's completely unacceptable for a nanny (or any adult really, but certainly someone you're paying to watch your child) to think children this age can be left alone.

I don't even understand how she is so oblivious that she actually asked?!

Honestly I would consider this an indicator of such poor judgment that I would replace her.

It really doesn't get more fundamental than this. You simply do not leave two toddlers alone in a building.

Unbelievable.

I know you don't want to have to find a new nanny but I don't see how you could possibly trust her with your children after that.
-Nanny

[nannydebsays]

I have no idea why you WOULDN'T replace her ASAP. Yes, the search is hard, but you need to tell your share partners what she asked you, and brainstorm with them about how to handle replacing her.

In your shoes, I would reach out to temp nanny agencies and find someone who knows basic safety rules to work until you find a new nanny who posesess actual common sense and intelligence.

[Anonymous]

Maybe the nanny was just thinking out loud- is it right to fire someone for something they thought/said but didn't do?

[Anonymous]

Jeez people, she ASKED if it was ok. Op said no, problem solved. Obviously she felt comfortable enough with OP to ask without fear of reprisals and now you want to fire her for being honest? Next time something comes up she's not going to ask, that's for damn sure. If you fire her or berate her for asking, you're going to end up with one of the lying by omission PPs upthread. Whatever happened to no such thing as a stupid question? Only applies to your questions, huh? You'll end up with a nanny who's so paralyzed with fear over losing her job by asking the wrong question that she'll never speak and then you'll be complaining about that. Drop it. Seriously. Now she knows where you stand. Somewhere along the way op have her the impression this might be ok or at the very least they had an open enough relationship she felt comfortable asking questions even if they might seem dumb.

Furthermore, we don't know but maybe op had asked her to do something unreasonable, or too many errands or so knows what, and this was nannys way of saying I don't have time unless I go during nap time so scale back your demands. We don't know the full story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are not over-reacting. It is actually illegal, but that should be secondary. It's completely unacceptable for a nanny (or any adult really, but certainly someone you're paying to watch your child) to think children this age can be left alone.

I don't even understand how she is so oblivious that she actually asked?!

Honestly I would consider this an indicator of such poor judgment that I would replace her.

It really doesn't get more fundamental than this. You simply do not leave two toddlers alone in a building.

Unbelievable.

I know you don't want to have to find a new nanny but I don't see how you could possibly trust her with your children after that.
-Nanny

Another nanny here agreeing that your nanny needs to be replaced. Staying with the child at all times is the first and most basic rule of childcare!

[Anonymous]

Your nanny is foreign, isn't she?

And yes, I would replace her immediately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jeez people, she ASKED if it was ok. Op said no, problem solved. Obviously she felt comfortable enough with OP to ask without fear of reprisals and now you want to fire her for being honest? Next time something comes up she's not going to ask, that's for damn sure. If you fire her or berate her for asking, you're going to end up with one of the lying by omission PPs upthread. Whatever happened to no such thing as a stupid question? Only applies to your questions, huh? You'll end up with a nanny who's so paralyzed with fear over losing her job by asking the wrong question that she'll never speak and then you'll be complaining about that. Drop it. Seriously. Now she knows where you stand. Somewhere along the way op have her the impression this might be ok or at the very least they had an open enough relationship she felt comfortable asking questions even if they might seem dumb.

Furthermore, we don't know but maybe op had asked her to do something unreasonable, or too many errands or so knows what, and this was nannys way of saying I don't have time unless I go during nap time so scale back your demands. We don't know the full story.

No adult who even considers it acceptable to leave two toddlers alone will ever be trusted w/ my kids. No responsible adult thinks that is a good idea.

Period.