Switching from nanny to daycare

[Anonymous]

Our son is 18 months old, and he has been with a nanny since I went back to work a little over a year ago. We hired a nanny because we were not able to get into daycare, and we also wanted the one-on-one attention. But our resources are fairly limited. Our nanny is great - she is very attentive and loving. But she can't drive, and we don't have any neighbors with kids, so he does not get much interaction with other kids. Also, we have been dipping into our limited savings to be able to afford the nanny (we don't take vacations, eat out, etc.). We now have an opportunity to get into a good daycare now. Should we do it now, or wait until he is two? I hear the transition at 18 months can be rough.

Regardless, we have to make the change by the time he is 2 because we can't afford it much longer.

[Anonymous]

Wait. As a daycare teacher I have to say that 18 months is one of the worst times to transition. Most preschools have two-year-old drop off programs and the children seem ready for that but not at 18 months. It can be quite traumatic. Not just to be in an institutional setting but also the sadness of losing a beloved nanny.

It is so different for 18 month olds who have been in daycare since birth.

My advice is to wait until you child is two-years-old and for you and DH to save up as many vacation days/sick days as possible before then as your child will be sick frequently once his is exposed to other children regularly in the first year.

[Anonymous]

Both our kids stayed with my mom for 14-15 months before switching to daycare and they both did great. It was harder on me than on them, but they both really blossomed being around other kids. I also didn't see any uptick in illness.

What type of program is it that he'll be in? PP is right that there are a lot more 2+ year old programs, so if you're going to move him now and then again in a few months, I could see waiting. Otherwise I don't personally see a difference between two and 18 months. Especially if you're really financially struggling with it and your child is getting no social interaction.

Good luck with your decision!

[Anonymous]

Two is a better age to make the switch but so much depends on the personality of your child. If he/she is outgoing and not afraid of strangers it probably will not be as hard at 18 months as you fear.

[Anonymous]

We were in the same situation and changed at 19 months. DD wasn't getting the social interaction - our nanny also didn't drive - and the expense was killing us. Things were ok! DD also has blossomed being around kids.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why parents would ever hire a nanny who doesn't drive or want to take their child to play groups, story time, classes, etc. Why did you hire this nanny in the first place?

Our nanny takes DS to a "class" every morning and always out in the afternoons. She is a former preschool teacher and has taught him so much as well as making sure he is socialized. I am truly shocked at the parents who do not think through their childcare options when the baby is newborn. If you cannot afford a great nanny then choose daycare. And if you can afford a great nanny forget about daycare forever and send to a preschool a few hours a day when the child is three. But no one suggests that nanny and then daycare is a good plan!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why parents would ever hire a nanny who doesn't drive or want to take their child to play groups, story time, classes, etc. Why did you hire this nanny in the first place?

Our nanny takes DS to a "class" every morning and always out in the afternoons. She is a former preschool teacher and has taught him so much as well as making sure he is socialized. I am truly shocked at the parents who do not think through their childcare options when the baby is newborn. If you cannot afford a great nanny then choose daycare. And if you can afford a great nanny forget about daycare forever and send to a preschool a few hours a day when the child is three. But no one suggests that nanny and then daycare is a good plan!!

In our case (PP with the DD who went into daycare at 19 months), we live in a rural error where professional nannies are unheard of. Our "nanny" is a 20 year old babysitter, really, with full time hours. Our town also has limited resources for children anyway, with no play groups, classes, or things like that. When DD was under a year, this 20 year old was fine, but no longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why parents would ever hire a nanny who doesn't drive or want to take their child to play groups, story time, classes, etc. Why did you hire this nanny in the first place?

Our nanny takes DS to a "class" every morning and always out in the afternoons. She is a former preschool teacher and has taught him so much as well as making sure he is socialized. I am truly shocked at the parents who do not think through their childcare options when the baby is newborn. If you cannot afford a great nanny then choose daycare. And if you can afford a great nanny forget about daycare forever and send to a preschool a few hours a day when the child is three. But no one suggests that nanny and then daycare is a good plan!!

OP here. We have limited resources and did the best possible in our situation. We were told we would have a spot in daycare but it did not open up. So we scrambled to find someone who we trusted and could afford. But I wasn't looking to justify our choices to a hyper-judgmental person. I was seeking advice about transitioning to daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why parents would ever hire a nanny who doesn't drive or want to take their child to play groups, story time, classes, etc. Why did you hire this nanny in the first place?

Our nanny takes DS to a "class" every morning and always out in the afternoons. She is a former preschool teacher and has taught him so much as well as making sure he is socialized. I am truly shocked at the parents who do not think through their childcare options when the baby is newborn. If you cannot afford a great nanny then choose daycare. And if you can afford a great nanny forget about daycare forever and send to a preschool a few hours a day when the child is three. But no one suggests that nanny and then daycare is a good plan!!

I will never understand why people take delight in criticizing the choices of others. What purpose does that serve?

A nanny doesn't have to drive to be great, or even spectacular, for the right family. A child has different needs at 4 months than at 4 years and the person who is spectacular with infants may or may not be so with older kids. A family that needs full-time highly individualized care for a baby may not need the same level of care for a toddler or preschooler.

OP, I think whatever you do your child will be fine. You can manage a transition to daycare if that's what makes sense, and the right daycare facility should be able to work with you in transitioning your child successfully. Do not beat yourself up. It will be fine.

[Anonymous]

I'm a nanny. I drive but currently my Hubby and I carpool. My car was totaled by an asshat that hit my car while
parked and drove off. We cannot afford a new car just yet. So sometimes crap happens and things change.

[Anonymous]

I am a Nanny and I don't drive and never apply to position where I have to drive. I have experience all age kids and not driving was not a problem may be because I work in DC where there are so many activities you can do and the public transportation is great. In bad weather the parents always call the cabs or uber. All depends on what you and the parents are looking and comfortable with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why parents would ever hire a nanny who doesn't drive or want to take their child to play groups, story time, classes, etc. Why did you hire this nanny in the first place?

Our nanny takes DS to a "class" every morning and always out in the afternoons. She is a former preschool teacher and has taught him so much as well as making sure he is socialized. I am truly shocked at the parents who do not think through their childcare options when the baby is newborn. If you cannot afford a great nanny then choose daycare. And if you can afford a great nanny forget about daycare forever and send to a preschool a few hours a day when the child is three. But no one suggests that nanny and then daycare is a good plan!!

So obnoxious...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our son is 18 months old, and he has been with a nanny since I went back to work a little over a year ago. We hired a nanny because we were not able to get into daycare, and we also wanted the one-on-one attention. But our resources are fairly limited. Our nanny is great - she is very attentive and loving. But she can't drive, and we don't have any neighbors with kids, so he does not get much interaction with other kids. Also, we have been dipping into our limited savings to be able to afford the nanny (we don't take vacations, eat out, etc.). We now have an opportunity to get into a good daycare now. Should we do it now, or wait until he is two? I hear the transition at 18 months can be rough.

Regardless, we have to make the change by the time he is 2 because we can't afford it much longer.

My son went to a fabulous full-time home daycare at 16 months. Prior to that he was with the nanny and grandma. He handled the transition just fine - had a rough couple of weeks but was all smooth sailing after. Don't stress over this, especially if your resources are limited. There is no reason to stress the financial wellbeing of the entire family by choosing childcare you cannot truly afford. Find a great daycare that inspires trust and confidence and enroll your child. There will be an adjustment period but it is totally normal.

[Anonymous]

While I strongly believe that nanny care is much more suitable to a child your son's age due to the personal attention and care involved, I also wouldn't want to see you and your husband's savings dwindle down to zero just to keep the nanny.

If you can keep her until the age of two, that is fine, but if it is wearing you both down financially, then it would be better to find a good daycare for him.

At this age, peer interaction is not as important as many parents believe it is. Kids at this age usually play side by side vs. actually engaging with each other.

If they receive all of their care from an adult, that is more than enough. There is plenty of time later on for socializing. Trust me on this.

[Anonymous]

For those who have switched, how did you notify your nanny? Did you tell her four weeks before the switch? Or did you just pay out her contract and switch immediately?