Weird vent...

[Anonymous]

I'm here to share the story of a situation I found myself in last Fall/winter.

I was working a split schedule with two nanny families; Monday Wednesday and Friday with one family, Tuesday and Thursday with the other. It went great for about a year, then the Tues/Thurs family's grandparents moved from across the country to be closer with grand-daughter, and suddenly (I was given three weeks notice) they didn't need me any more. I had been feeling overworked anyway, and sought out some half day positions for Tuesday and Thursday.

I found an ad that said they were looking for care for an 8 year old boy and almost four year old girl. They needed someone from 7am to 1pm Tues/Thursday, primarily for the girl (drop big brother off at school by 8). The pay was listed at $16/hr. I scheduled an interview. When I showed up, I started saying things like "in the email you said..." And the parents kind of looked at each other and said, "oh, you didn't email us!" I was confused, and they explained that their "main" nanny had coordinated everything. I was confused, but liked the way the job seemed to be shaping up (lots of freedom to go do fun things around town, use of their nice car, museum memberships, good hours for me, etc), so I went with it.

Over time, I began to understand more about their "main nanny." She was a college student (second year), 20 years old. She had been their "nanny" for less than two years. She had been the one to place the ad because she "really wanted to keep working with them, even though her classes that semester conflicted with their needs." (Read: as soon as that semester was over, my hours either were to change or be lost completely). I am a professional nanny, 32 years old, with 14 years of full time nanny experience, and a bachelors degree in ECE. This 20 year old second year college student (who was studying psychology and theatre) was making $20/hr with the family. And yet, when she placed the ad, she decided to advertise her "subcontracted" hours at $16/hr?? That really was frustrating, for obvious reasons.

However, she also acted completely irresponsibly. I only ended up working with them for two months (I quit, due to a number of issues). But in that time, the "main nanny" was late to relieve me THREE times! And, she wasn't just like a little late. Once she was 20 mins late, once she was 30 mins late, but the third time she was 75 (SEVENTY FIVE!) minutes late. And since MB left me a prepaid check in the morning on Friday, and since this girl was late consistently on Fridays, it would've been a pain in the ass for MB to compensate me for the time (I would ve had to come in on Saturday probably). So "main nanny" would pay me cash out of her pocket (at my rate of $16/hr), and coolly say something like "MB doesn't need to hear about this" (although after the third time I did tell her of course). It was frustrating, knowing that she was getting paid $20 for that hour that she wasn't even there, so even when she gave me the $16 it was like she still made $4/hr when she wasn't even there!

I strongly suspect, looking back, that that girl also had thought she would be pulling something over on me and her MB when she advertised the position for so much less than she made: I think she was hoping MB would still pay her her normal rate, and that she would then pay the "other" nanny, so she could continue to make money on the deal for hours she wasn't really there.

And for the record, the times she was late had nothing to do with school, or any real reason, because I later found out that her Friday class ended at 11am, and she usually then went to "have lunch" at her boyfriends apartment before heading over. More than once she told me she "accidentally overslept" at her boyfriends place as her excuse! And, I found out that the charge always took a 2 hour nap right at 1:30, and "main nanny" was relieved at 4:30. So I would spend ALL morning playing with the charge at the park, art projects, prepare and clean up from breakfast, snack, and lunch. Then she would waltz in, put the charge down to sleep immediately, and "work on schoolwork."

There were multiple times, especially near the end, when "main nanny" asked me to wash, dry, fold, and put away the family's laundry. I did it once, as a favor. The second time I told her that she needed to manage her time with the family better so she could do the laundry herself, because she spent five days per week there, and every single day involved a two hour nap, which I didn't get (and as I explained, I'm too busy engaging with the charge and preparing meals and doing the dishes to make additional time to clean and fold a whole load of laundry). It was the third time she asked that I said "you make $20/hr and I make $16/hr, doing all the chores that you are supposed to do during your shifts. So no, I won't do the laundry for you anymore." She seemed somehow hurt; I think she was in shock that I actually knew her real rate!

It was about that time that I quit. I guess the lesson is don't do a subcontracted position (where you're being relieved and in a sense overseen by another nanny). I'm sure most aren't as awful as she was but...I'll certainly never do that again!

[Anonymous]

Everything you found out later you could have asked and found out about during the first interview. Anytime there is another person working in the home I ask specific detailed questions about the roles and responsibilities and everything else related.

[Anonymous]

You sound really jealous and petty

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everything you found out later you could have asked and found out about during the first interview. Anytime there is another person working in the home I ask specific detailed questions about the roles and responsibilities and everything else related.

How could I have known she would continually be late by asking that in the interview? And how is it appropriate for the fill in nanny to ask the main nanny's rate or hours? When I'd asked about household chores in the interview (which had not been mentioned in any emails or the job post) MB said "mostly just dishes but very occasionally an extra chore if needed." But obviously I had no idea that other nanny got a two hour nap break every afternoon (since I left at 1 it didn't concern me if she took an afternoon nap and other nanny's hours weren't really my business), and I had no idea that other nanny would be so lazy to do nothing during her downtime and ask me to pick up the slack. These were NOT things I could've asked about (or that they could've necessarily foreseen) in the interview.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everything you found out later you could have asked and found out about during the first interview. Anytime there is another person working in the home I ask specific detailed questions about the roles and responsibilities and everything else related.

How could I have known she would continually be late by asking that in the interview? And how is it appropriate for the fill in nanny to ask the main nanny's rate or hours? When I'd asked about household chores in the interview (which had not been mentioned in any emails or the job post) MB said "mostly just dishes but very occasionally an extra chore if needed." But obviously I had no idea that other nanny got a two hour nap break every afternoon (since I left at 1 it didn't concern me if she took an afternoon nap and other nanny's hours weren't really my business), and I had no idea that other nanny would be so lazy to do nothing during her downtime and ask me to pick up the slack. These were NOT things I could've asked about (or that they could've necessarily foreseen) in the interview.

The question you should have asked was whether you would be "managed" by the other nanny or by MB. When you found out that the other nanny was so involved in the hiring, that should have been the first thing you asked to know. If the answer was, "you two will work it out," then you would have had follow up questions, including meeting with the other nanny and MB before you started.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everything you found out later you could have asked and found out about during the first interview. Anytime there is another person working in the home I ask specific detailed questions about the roles and responsibilities and everything else related.

How could I have known she would continually be late by asking that in the interview? And how is it appropriate for the fill in nanny to ask the main nanny's rate or hours? When I'd asked about household chores in the interview (which had not been mentioned in any emails or the job post) MB said "mostly just dishes but very occasionally an extra chore if needed." But obviously I had no idea that other nanny got a two hour nap break every afternoon (since I left at 1 it didn't concern me if she took an afternoon nap and other nanny's hours weren't really my business), and I had no idea that other nanny would be so lazy to do nothing during her downtime and ask me to pick up the slack. These were NOT things I could've asked about (or that they could've necessarily foreseen) in the interview.

"Is the rate I'm asking in like with what you are already paying the other nanny?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everything you found out later you could have asked and found out about during the first interview. Anytime there is another person working in the home I ask specific detailed questions about the roles and responsibilities and everything else related.

How could I have known she would continually be late by asking that in the interview? And how is it appropriate for the fill in nanny to ask the main nanny's rate or hours? When I'd asked about household chores in the interview (which had not been mentioned in any emails or the job post) MB said "mostly just dishes but very occasionally an extra chore if needed." But obviously I had no idea that other nanny got a two hour nap break every afternoon (since I left at 1 it didn't concern me if she took an afternoon nap and other nanny's hours weren't really my business), and I had no idea that other nanny would be so lazy to do nothing during her downtime and ask me to pick up the slack. These were NOT things I could've asked about (or that they could've necessarily foreseen) in the interview.

"Is the rate I'm asking in like with what you are already paying the other nanny?"

I didn't ask for a rate. The position was advertised at $16/hr in the ad, and the parents reiterated "this is the pay rate" at the interview. At the time it really didn't make sense for me to question their other nanny's rate of pay compared with my own, especially since I knew she had been with them for a longer time. It also didn't make sense, at the interview, for me to sit there and ask questions like "how much experience does she have compared to me? Does she also have her bachelors degree complete? Exactly how long has she been with you? Let's sit here and compare every detail so I can figure out if her rate really is fair compared with mine considering all these complex factors..."

Whatever. I just wanted to share my experience, and I did that. I learned from it and I certainly hope others do, too.

[Anonymous]

This main nanny sounds likes a true hustler OP. She sounds like she hustled both you AND the family here.

For someone only twenty yrs old, she was given a lot of responsibility. I am by no means bashing young nannies, but I believe at such a tender age you are still figuring yourself out and some people feel that if they can get away with something, they should. Ah..Youth.

Glad you got out of that situation and took a stand for yourself. Karma will get her for everything she did for you.

[Anonymous]

*to you.

[Anonymous]

I just read the OP. Um you said that you were only to work for the family on tues and Thursday, why did you need her to relieve you on Fridays? I thought you worked mwf for your first family still?

And also. Why would you expect to make the same pay as some one that has been with the family longer and you are only part time with a 4 year old? 7-1 and you want $20/hr?

This is either an embellished story or out right lie. But if it's somewhat true you seem childish and jealous. The other nanny probably started at the same rate she advertised to you.

[Anonymous]

This is entirely true, except, I admit, the exact days of the week. I worked with my previous family Tuesday and Thursday and the other family MWF. But when the other family let me go, my MWF family said they could be flexible (they needed Monday but were flexible on the other days), and this job was for Tuesdays and Fridays. I was trying to "simplify" my post by just saying Tuesday Thursday, but obviously I wasn't paying enough attention when I wrote it and screwed it up.

Sadly I don't know of any way to prove that any of this actually happened to a bunch of internet strangers. If I still had that phone I'd consider taking pictures of texts between myself and main nanny but I've since bought a new phone (and I think I was so happy to be done with them when I quit I had deleted them quickly anyway). So, no, I can't prove anything.

But, whether you believe me or not, it did happen, every last bit of it. It was even worse in fact; after I posted, I remembered that towards the end I found out that main nanny often took the charge to visit her boyfriend at the coffee shop on mornings I wasn't there. When I threatened to tell MB, nanny said "why? She already knows and is okay with it." She did seem kind of nervous so I think she was bluffing but I didn't care enough to bother tattling. It does go to show how young and in some ways naive she was. She herself basically flat out told me about visiting her boyfriend with the charge, she seemed to be almost bragging. I guess she didn't think that I would find fault with it, or I'd be on her side or something?

Anyway, yeah, she really was that awful, hustling me AND MB, but you don't have to take my word for it.

Thank you for the support, 2:13. I do believe she was given too much authority/responsibility. I hope the family learned something and I hope karma did get her as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just read the OP. Um you said that you were only to work for the family on tues and Thursday, why did you need her to relieve you on Fridays? I thought you worked mwf for your first family still?

And also. Why would you expect to make the same pay as some one that has been with the family longer and you are only part time with a 4 year old? 7-1 and you want $20/hr?

This is either an embellished story or out right lie. But if it's somewhat true you seem childish and jealous. The other nanny probably started at the same rate she advertised to you.

Haha yea just noticed that. She said she only worked for them Tues/Thurs and then everything was about Fridays. Obvious lie =o

[Anonymous]

You just continue to sound overly pressed about the other nanny and what goes on when she has the kids etc. it's really none of your business seeing as she's been with the family way longer and they couldn't even be bothered to find backup for her. The family that I work for puts me in charge of a lot of things and the mb doesn't mind if I see my boyfriend, sometimes he brings me lunch and will eat with us when we are out and they don't mind. I'm with the kids way longer than the parents are and they know that some of my personal life will spill over. The other nanny is with the kids longer and the mb doesn't care. If you wanted a full time position, you should've found one. But don't try to heather fired if you don't even want the hours. The family seems fine