What kind of help does she need?

[Anonymous]

Ok, so here in the deal.
I am former nanny and I am trying to help my SIL plan out her kiddo care needs. I know that she will need a ton of help- and that its too much for 1 nanny. Just wanting to know how many folks she should be looking to hire.

Here is the situation. She has a high profile job in DC (easily pulls 12 hour days) and often has to go to events at night. She also wants almost around the clock care on the weekends. She will not be gone all weekend- but she often has work situations pop up that have to be dealt with immediately. She is going to be a single mom.

She is honestly wanting 12-13 hours a day of care, 7 days a week.

Please no snark about how she should have a kid if she can't care for it... The situation is what it is.

[Anonymous]

One weekday nanny and one weekend nanny. Suggest she get a night nurse until the baby is sleeping through the night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One weekday nanny and one weekend nanny. Suggest she get a night nurse until the baby is sleeping through the night.

We were thinking 2 week nannies. My fear is that 1 person pulling 12 hour day will burn out.
And yes- she will have a night nanny during the first few months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One weekday nanny and one weekend nanny. Suggest she get a night nurse until the baby is sleeping through the night.

We were thinking 2 week nannies. My fear is that 1 person pulling 12 hour day will burn out.
And yes- she will have a night nanny during the first few months.

No, I work 12 hour days and LOVE the overtime. You get into a good rhythm with your charge. I've been doing it for nearly three years and have never burned out (as a SAHM doesn't burn out). You just need to be organized and disciplined about your private life.

[Anonymous]

I'd suggest 2 24 nannies that just split the job. Either 4 on/4 off. Or week on/week off. I've done both of those types of schedules and loved the time off to travel and do fun things. As long as she pays a good salary she will have great candidates.

[Anonymous]

2 nannies. either one works four days and one works three, or they each work four days per week, and alternate weekly.

Or they could each work 3.5 days per week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:2 nannies. either one works four days and one works three, or they each work four days per week, and alternate weekly.

Or they could each work 3.5 days per week.

That's kind of what we were thinking. But not sure which she'd have an easier time hiring for. Scenario 1: 60 hour a week M-F nanny and 1 weekend nanny or more of a 3/4 split.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2 nannies. either one works four days and one works three, or they each work four days per week, and alternate weekly.

Or they could each work 3.5 days per week.

That's kind of what we were thinking. But not sure which she'd have an easier time hiring for. Scenario 1: 60 hour a week M-F nanny and 1 weekend nanny or more of a 3/4 split.

I think it would be much easier hiring a 60 hour a week nanny and a weekend nanny. I am a full time nanny (just 40 hours a week M-Th) and am currently looking for a weekend position (not in DC however). If I had a 60 hour full time nanny gig I wouldn't need a weekend job! So basically from my perspective, either job would be great for me!

[Anonymous]

She really needs to find someone to live-in and make them part of the family. Tell her to never once think of her as the nanny but more like an older adopted child. They will love the children and be there to help when needed. She won't have to commute to and from any place so when mom is home she should always relieve the nanny and then if something comes up she can pop back up to be with the kids.

Don't track hours but pay her something very generous and don't take out for the fact that she is living in.

Lastly, make sure you can plan out large blocks where she is completely free and you won't rely on her and also have a backup babysitter available to give both mom and nanny evenings off.

[Anonymous]

Put the child up for adoption and look for someone who truly wants a child to love and nuture and values the child more than her job,
not an accessory child who is brought out for photo ops.

[Anonymous]

I would do a 60-hour-per-week weekday nanny and a separate weekday nanny for a few reasons:

1) Many nannies work long hours. I am currently taking the summer "off" and cut back to a 45-hour-per-week summer job as a mini-vacation for myself. I don't know what to do with myself! Find a nanny who has done jobs like this before and you needn't worry about burnout.

2) since mom will be working such long hours she realistically won't be the primary attachment figure. This doesn't mean she won't be mom or that nanny is the "real" parent, but it does mean that hiring someone who can fill that need for a primary bond will be beneficial to baby.

3) long term, routine and schedule becomes really important, and that will be easiest to achieve with one person handling things most days.

4) if she hires two nannies who are equals, she will need to be very hands-on in managing both of them individually and coordinating their efforts under her direction. If she hires one primary nanny and a weekend helper then she can let the primary nanny manage the weekend nanny to an extent and the standing order can be that primary nanny makes most calls/arranges schedules/handles appointments/plans meals/shops for clothes/etc. and that she gives mom the executive brief on decisions so mom can course correct as needed instead of having to research and make every decision herself. Then weekend nanny's job description is just to follow the routine and structure established during the week. This may sound too detached, but if mom is working as much as you describe, she will be better off handing the details to an experienced caregiver and spending her off time being as hands-on as possible vs handling kid-related logistics.

[Anonymous]

I'm a mom. I'd suggest hiring a full-time live-in, who is single and really looking for one of those "part of the family" type positions.

I'd set that up to be a nanny and nanny manager position. So the primary, live-in nanny, has a more comprehensive job description that includes supervising a second nanny (including assisting with hiring and training).

Let the primary nanny help figure out work hour configurations so that she isn't overloaded. Perhaps the live-in nanny can be the primary weekend nanny, so her M-F hours might be quite limited. Maybe the live-in works Thursday - Monday, and the second nanny works Tu-Th, each 12 hours days. (Or something along those lines.)

You could craft a full-time second level position of 35-45 hours/week so that would be attractive to someone, and then the live-in could be designed to be more flexible in hours and more comprehensive in terms of managing the schedule etc... So maybe she wouldn't be working every weekend full-time, but she would be flexible in working the weekends when your SIL had something come up - kind of paying for the "on call" version.

Managing a nanny is a fair amount of work, and a HUGE stress when the nanny is sick or on vacation. So if the primary live-in nanny has responsibility for overseeing the second nanny that would take a signficant load of your SIL. But that also changes the type of person you need to hire.

If money isn't an obstacle I think this kind of arrangement could work well. Our former nanny would have been very interested in something like this kind of set-up.

[Anonymous]

What field is your sister in, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What field is your sister in, OP?

Far left field. I don't know why she even had kids.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here. For several families in the past, I have work 60 to 70 hours each week and handled all kid related shopping, cooking, laundry, cleaning, etc. I also handled all scheduling of classes, appointments, therapies, etc. I would get kids up and dressed in the morning and they would have a quick visit/breakfast with mom and dad, then mom and dad would walk in at the end of the night two kids dressed and ready for bed, house tidy and dinner on the table, so that the brief window of time they were home was spent eating family dinner and tucking kids into bed.

When weekend nannies were required, I found, hired and trained them to specifications. When I had a vacation coming up, I found my replacement, prepared things like meals and laying out outfits for the week I would be gone and trained the temp nanny. I was responsible for every single logistical thing related to the children and anyway, which meant that the parents time with the kids, which was so limited was exclusively spent playing relaxing and bonding with their kids.

It takes a very self-aware and emotionally mature parent to work within this arrangement, because they truly handover a lot of control. But if you think your sister-in-law would be able to do it emotionally and financially, she could basically hire herself a June Cleaver, Which sounds like it would be the best thing given her demanding schedule .