4.5 year old charge peeing all over the house

[Anonymous]

My four and a half year old charge has been peeing all over the house for a few weeks now. He pees on the floor in his room, the bathroom, living room. Nothing seems to be working not discipline, rewards for using the toilet, etc. His parents suggested spanking which I am concerned will make it worse. He doesn't say why he's doing it. Anyone have experience with this?

[Anonymous]

His parents just had to have a carpet cleaning company come to the house and he peed on the floor again!

[Anonymous]

He is doing some serious acting out if he is doing this purposely and maliciously.

Are these sudden accident urges (which could be caused by constipation or UTI) where he only has enough time to get his pants down? Are his shirts and underwear a little wet? Or is he sneaking around and purposely urinating on possessions, etc?

[Anonymous]

PP again and spanking is NEVR the answer and NEVER EVER should a nanny spank a child! You are asking for a world of legal trouble is you ever strike a charge.

[Anonymous]

The poor child is angry. With parents like his, anyone would be angry.

Do you know for sure how many nannies he's had before you, OP?

[Anonymous]

Whoa whoa whoa. Is he having accidents or is he willfully peeing in these locations? We need to know that to offer advice but WHATEVER YOU DO NO SPANKING. Never ever from you, but discourage the parents as well - it will only make him angry and ashamed.

[Anonymous]

Op here, no I would never spank him! His parents asked me if THEY should do it, which I of course said no. I've been with them for 3 years, he had one nanny before me when he was very young, which didn't last long (she got fired but I'm not sure why). I believe he is doing it intentionally. I even make him help clean up the mess.

[Anonymous]

Op again, perhaps he is waiting too long to make it to the bathroom, but I ask him throughout the day and it doesn't explain why he's been doing this only for the past few weeks.

[Anonymous]

Any number of things might have made him less attentive to his bodily cues in the past few weeks, that doesn't necessarily mean he's acting out. Some children don't gain full control of their bladders until well into elementary school.

Firstly I would say to always assume and act like it's an accident. So, totally fine to have him help clean up but no asking "why did you do that?!" Or "why didn't you go five minutes ago when I asked if you need to?" He doesn't know any more than you do.

Second, can you make it a part of your schedule where every hour he tries to use the bathroom whether he needs to go or not? Or have you tried that/how did it go?

[Anonymous]

OP, are his pants wet at all? This would be a clue as to whether the incident truly is an accident that cannot be stopped. The parents must take him to the pediatrician to rule out a bowel blockage (which causes a sudden and uncontrollable urge) or a UTI. Then you can safely decide how to deal with the behavior if it is truly purposeful.

For what it is worth, I never ask "do you have to go?" - I always ask "can you go?". I float a couple cheerios in the toilet bowel and get the boy to try to sink them with his urine stream thereby draining his bladder. For accidents, I always make the clean up take 4 times as long as it would have taken the child to run to the toilet - change clothes, put clothes in washing machine, take a shower, redress and clean up the accident. Noting punitive or harsh about it - I stay completely neutral - this is simply what we have to do when anyone has an accident. All humans are programmed to take the path of least resistance - make running to the toilet the path of least resistance.

If he is pulling out his penis and urinating on purpose, he has psychological issues that are beyond your pay grade, OP.

[Anonymous]

What is your gut sense, OP, about what's going on?

[Anonymous]

He woukd be back in a diaper immediately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He woukd be back in a diaper immediately.

WRONG. Punitive and shaming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, are his pants wet at all? This would be a clue as to whether the incident truly is an accident that cannot be stopped. The parents must take him to the pediatrician to rule out a bowel blockage (which causes a sudden and uncontrollable urge) or a UTI. Then you can safely decide how to deal with the behavior if it is truly purposeful.

For what it is worth, I never ask "do you have to go?" - I always ask "can you go?". I float a couple cheerios in the toilet bowel and get the boy to try to sink them with his urine stream thereby draining his bladder. For accidents, I always make the clean up take 4 times as long as it would have taken the child to run to the toilet - change clothes, put clothes in washing machine, take a shower, redress and clean up the accident. Noting punitive or harsh about it - I stay completely neutral - this is simply what we have to do when anyone has an accident. All humans are programmed to take the path of least resistance - make running to the toilet the path of least resistance.

If he is pulling out his penis and urinating on purpose, he has psychological issues that are beyond your pay grade, OP.

Possible sign that someone is abusing him, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He woukd be back in a diaper immediately.

WRONG. Punitive and shaming.

Thank heavens I am not a nanny because there's no way in hell that I woukd clean up after him. It must be like having an un-house broken puppy.