Need advice on discipline from au parsed host families please??

[Anonymous]

Hi,
So I am an au pair for 2 boys and i am really struggling but i mean struggling. I have worked for 5 different families before with 5 kids from one family and have never struggles so much. The family i work for (well the host mom) does not believe in any form of discipline. If you read my profile it clearly states i am very big into discipline as i believe it shapes kids when they are older. When i interviewed with the family they had stressed that they also believed in discipline and were very firm with the kids but upon arrival i have gathered there is absolutely no structure or discipline whatsoever. These boys can do and get away with absolute murder.

I sat down and spoke to the family about how i feel and my host dad complete agreed (him and my host mom literally fight everyday because he believed in discipline and she does not and he can not stand the way the kids behave but somehow she always seems to win the fight, they even have discussed divorce numerous times as he says he can't cope with it anymore so you can imagine how me as the nanny comes across to the host mom). When nothing changes i spoke to them again but mentioned that i was considering rematch as it was too much for me, my host mom then begged me to stay and said she would change a few things but has not, so i emailed my lcc and spoke to the family again and once again my host family said okay, lets plan a discipline measure and stuff which we did and agreed upon rules and punishments and how to deal with certain situations but once again my host mom changed her mind. I really like the family but i am seriously at my breaking point. I have absolutely no control over these kids.

They are 2 and 4 years old, they refuse to sit down and eat food and if you sit them down they take their food spit it out at you, throw it on the floor or they scream. You can't give them any cups but just closed bottles of water as they throw the water all over the floor. They do not go to bed before 11pm/1am because they SCREAM their lungs off. ( i have a curfew to be home at 10:30 but the 2 year can go to sleep at 1 am). If they cry for anything my host mom will buy it for them, give it to them or lay with them. They wake up each hour of the night running around to "play" and never listen. If i say no to anything the boys will hit or bite me and then run to my host mom start crying and throw a tantrum and she gives them whatever they are crying for. There was one instance where the 4 year old bit my butt so hard (through jeans) i bled and was bruised and so i asked him to apologise and he laughed in my face, i told him if he did not apologise i would not read him any books at bed time as that was a mean thing to do, he then continued to laugh in my face and said no so i refused to read him books so my host mom came up the stairs and said its okay if she doesn't read you the books, i will. I am continuously battling to look after them. I am embarrassed to go out to any restaurant with them as on 3 separate occasions people have come over to tell them they need to learn to control their kids. My host mom just claims they need help because there is something wrong with these people that don't understand they are just boys. I am beginning to despise the days i have to look after them from morning to evening because there is so much crying, tantrums, hurting and no discipline that i just don't enjoy being around them. I understand kids do behave badly on some occasions as they have bad days and so on but this is an every single day battle and it never ends. I really just don't know what to do anymore, please can someone suggest what they would do in this situation?

[Anonymous]

Hopeless.
Rematch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hopeless.
Rematch.

+1

[Anonymous]

Get out as fast as you can AND report all of this to your APZ agr,cy. These people need a zoo keeper.

[Anonymous]

What did you get hit with that made you bleed and bruise ?

[Anonymous]

Rematch. Tell them why.

[Anonymous]

Run while you can, good luck op

[Anonymous]

This au pair agency needs to be reported to the State Department. That's all.

[Anonymous]

It's not safe to work with children whom can be so violent. You need to ask your agency to a remove as soon as possibly. They are crazy.

[Anonymous]

Long time HM here. What you describe is insane and not a safe environment to be working. I highly recommend rematch and being super honest with your LCC so no other unsuspecting au apairs end up in this same home.

[Anonymous]

Try the Au Pair forum.

You just may get some better advice there.

[Anonymous]

I'm a mom and I vote for rematch!!!

[Anonymous]

This is horrible. You need to get out of that house. I'm so sorry OP.