Do you ever feel like a second class citizen?

[Anonymous]

I'm new to being a nanny. The family I work for is very nice but I never imagined I'd be a nanny, doing laundry, straightening up and shopping for someone else. I also read on DCUM that nannys shouldn't talk about their personal life with their MB/DB. Do you ever feel like a second class citizen? Are you ever ashamed to tell people you're a nanny?

[Anonymous]

You never imagined you'd be a nanny op ? Then why are you one ? I'm never ashamed to tell anyone I'm a nanny even in northern va. I'm proud of my job. I love what I do.

[Anonymous]

You sound like you're doing it to yourself OP. I'm sorry you had to take a job you're ashamed of, but if you're ashamed then you're the one making yourself feeling like a second class citizen - especially if you have good employers.

What do you really want to do? Go after that.

Re the talking about personal life, that's just a good rule of thumb for any work environment. I don't want my boss in my personal business anyway, so I'm careful about personal/private boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm new to being a nanny. The family I work for is very nice but I never imagined I'd be a nanny, doing laundry, straightening up and shopping for someone else. I also read on DCUM that nannys shouldn't talk about their personal life with their MB/DB. Do you ever feel like a second class citizen? Are you ever ashamed to tell people you're a nanny?

I often think about that as I'm folding laundry at 2:30 in the afternoon. I'm 25, nannied through college, taught and now I'm in my first year back to nannying. When my boyfriend or parent ask how my day was, I feel really silly telling them about it - or when I complain about a long day I also feel pretty dumb. When people ask what I do, I often throw in that I used to be a teacher and now am nannying until I figure out what I want to do, but the truth is I have no idea what I want to do. My degree is in early childhood education and child development, I know I want to work with children but I also know I don't want to teach forever. Being ambitious to leave nannying is tough because I'm making twice as much as I was when I was teaching, plus I have no living expenses because I live in their separate basement apartment. I do love my charge and my family and I think I'm a really good nanny, but yes, for me, it doesn't feel like it's good enough.

[Anonymous]

No, not unless the family treats me like "the help."

[Anonymous]

I am personally ashamed of any job where people assume I'm not educated.

[Anonymous]

Meh. This is certainly not a prestigious job, but if you talked with me for 5 minutes you would realize that I know a LOt about my field. And as for what I do with my time, today I was outside enjoying this delightful weather with my delightful coworkers, then I spent some time cooking a nice dinner for the family (which I find totally relaxing) while catching up on my favorite show. Then I was back outside in the sunshine in the afternoon. Is this the most powerful job in the world? No. But I have work that I find intellectually stimulating (I am constantly reading about and applying cognitive development, physical development, education and psychology), pleasurable, and personally fulfilling. I make a decent living because I live very simply and don't want to be caught up in the "who is busiest and most important" contest that so many people seem to be obsessed with. My life is happy and healthy both at work and during my free time. Tell me again why I should be ashamed? Because society deems pink collar fields to be worthless? Because someone with my educational opportunities and IQ could have done well in a more competitive field? Because my job title isn't impressive? Fuck that noise. Life is too short.

[Anonymous]

I have a bit of a chip on my shoulder about the stigma that goes along with being a nanny. However, I love what I do, and I know that even with my bachelors degree there is nothing else I could do that would earn as much money and also be as much fun. I am always an advocate for myself when meeting with new potential clients, and I only work with families who respect me.

The chip on my shoulder comes into play when people in my personal life ask or comment on what I do for a living. I've gotten a fair number of those "one day when you get a real job..." comments, which is always very frustrating to hear.

Thankfully I have a great boyfriend now so this is no longer a factor, but when I was dating (and going on a lot of first dates), I got so frustrated by people who essentially shut down ("check please") as soon as I told them my profession. I've been told by more than one douchebag that I wasn't "career oriented enough" for him to consider dating me. Thankfully my family and friends have been supportive and understanding.

Basically, there are always going to be people who look down on you for what you do. But you have to decide for yourself if you can respect yourself for what you're doing. I get up every day and go to work to earn money to pay my bills and save for the future just like everyone else. I'm a positive force in the lives of the families I work with. I respect myself and what I do, so if my boyfriends friends or family or anyone else I meet has a problem with it, it's just that-- THEIR problem.

But if you honestly don't enjoy it and can't respect yourself in this role, then you should pursue other options. I hope, at least, having been a nanny, you will have respect for other people's career choices, should you ever meet another nanny in the future.

[Anonymous]

I never feel like a second class citizen with my NF. I feel like one of their relatives (that they happen to pay.) We talk all the time, I tell them about my personal life and they tell me about theirs. I am always up to date on vacations and days MB/DB don't need to work, they always work around my issues, we just mesh really well. I also don't do any laundry or personal things for them but maybe you just need to find a better family that more matches your characteristics.

[Anonymous]

No, I actually don't feel like a second class citizen. I cam back to being a nanny after years of teaching in preschool and my employers know both my education and experience. I do, however, get a lot of "I thought you were his mother/grandmother!" comments (I'm 56) and "I can't believe you are a nanny!". I have yet to figure out exactly what that means...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meh. This is certainly not a prestigious job, but if you talked with me for 5 minutes you would realize that I know a LOt about my field. And as for what I do with my time, today I was outside enjoying this delightful weather with my delightful coworkers, then I spent some time cooking a nice dinner for the family (which I find totally relaxing) while catching up on my favorite show. Then I was back outside in the sunshine in the afternoon. Is this the most powerful job in the world? No. But I have work that I find intellectually stimulating (I am constantly reading about and applying cognitive development, physical development, education and psychology), pleasurable, and personally fulfilling. I make a decent living because I live very simply and don't want to be caught up in the "who is busiest and most important" contest that so many people seem to be obsessed with. My life is happy and healthy both at work and during my free time. Tell me again why I should be ashamed? Because society deems pink collar fields to be worthless? Because someone with my educational opportunities and IQ could have done well in a more competitive field? Because my job title isn't impressive? Fuck that noise. Life is too short.

I <3 you! This is more or less me and a lot of people don't get it.

[Anonymous]

I constantly get comments from my father and step-mother about why I'm not willing to get an office job, work 9-5 and be like every other drone in their offices. That's not me, and they don't get it.

All they see is that they have great salaries doing things they kind of like. Well, I love what I do, I have no overhead, no debt, and I only dip into my salary when I want to do so. Eventually, I will have enough to comfortably retire in a small apartment, and that's fine with me.

[Anonymous]

Of course not. There is dignity in ALL work OP.

I personally am proud to tell others I work w/young children. I love what I do + some days I don't even feel like it is "work" in the sense that it is because I enjoy it so much.

I remember once remarking to a family at the playground I was my charge's Nanny, not his Mother.

The parents advised me to use the term "Au Pair" instead since it made me sound more upscale.

I told them I wasn't into fancy shmancy titles. I don't need to put on airs for anyone, most especially regarding what I do for a living.

[Anonymous]

It's up to you how to take this. Part of what you are feeling is part of being a nanny but part of it is universal in any job. Same goes for waiters, customer service reps. There are always guidelines for how you should behave with people who you exchange a service for pay with, even white collar professionals.

To be a successful nanny, you should overcome this with the acknowledgement that it may be difficult and everyone faces this.

[Anonymous]

It all gets so much easier, I promise. I felt a lot of the same things when I was new to nannying. It's difficult when you love a job but hate the stigma that goes along with it. Many of my friends still don't understand and people ask me when I'm going to get a real job with real benefits and a salary. Many people are misinformed about nannies, so enlighten them. Also try to stick up for your profession or read (positive) nanny blogs or even semi-silly buzzfeed articles about why nannying is so great because after one year post grad, all of my friends' new and exciting office jobs started looking really drab and nannying remains to be extremely fun and rewarding. There are definitely perks that not many other jobs have like being outside a lot, wearing street clothes, getting exercise, time to yourself during nap time, no annoying coworkers, flexibility, and having no two days be the same. As for the relationship with NF, it's just like any other relationship; as time goes on, you will feel more comfortable sharing more. Always be careful not to overshare but don't worry, if it's a good fit then you will become close with your NF on a more personal level and it will be organic rather than forced. Also make friends with other nannies with similar backgrounds to yours, there are many. Good luck!