Letting go of my wonderful nanny!

[Anonymous]

Hi all,

We have had a wonderful nanny for the past year and absolutely love her. My son (who is 2 now)was on a wait list at a daycare for over a year, and we just found out that he has a good chance of getting in. It is a good daycare and is cheaper than keeping a full time nanny($320 per month). How do I break the news to my nanny?I never mentioned the possibility of a day care before. What would be a reasonable time to give her to look for a new job? We had discussed 2 weeks when we hired her but I feel that might be too short. Any advice by people who have faced a similar situation or other nannies would be appreciated.

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

A foolish economy, OP. Your son will be sick a lot his first year in daycare -- make sure you have the time to take off a lot of work.

When you tell your nanny make sure to ask her is she will occasionally babysit your child so she doesn't just vanish from his life.

[Anonymous]

I hate to say this OP because I cannot stand snarky posters, but I find it kind of deceitful that your son was on a daycare wait list and you never ONCE mentioned this fact to your nanny?

Is there a good reason for this....??

I once worked for a family that had their child on a wait list as well, yet they told me upon hire and kept me abreast of any new developments, etc.

Expect your nanny to feel a bit miffed when you tell her.

To be fair, give her more than two weeks since most people do not find a job within that time automatically.
Also, a nice severance may ease any ill will.

[Anonymous]

I'd give at least one month notice

[Anonymous]

MB here. Give her one month, and a great reference. Or, give her two weeks, plus two weeks severance pay, if you want to wait until you know that you're definitely in the daycare.

If she wants the assistance and you're comfortable doing so, you can put a note on your neighborhood listserv to help her find a job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A foolish economy, OP. Your son will be sick a lot his first year in daycare -- make sure you have the time to take off a lot of work.

When you tell your nanny make sure to ask her is she will occasionally babysit your child so she doesn't just vanish from his life.

Why would she want to come back? OP has her son waitlisted for daycare and NEVER mentioned it the nanny. Why would she work for someone this sneaky?

[Anonymous]

OP, it's FINE that you were trying to get him into daycare. For all she knows you woke up, re-did your budget and found you could save a lot of money by putting him in a great daycare that has a spot.

Just give a month's notice and a glowing reference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A foolish economy, OP. Your son will be sick a lot his first year in daycare -- make sure you have the time to take off a lot of work.

When you tell your nanny make sure to ask her is she will occasionally babysit your child so she doesn't just vanish from his life.

Why would she want to come back? OP has her son waitlisted for daycare and NEVER mentioned it the nanny. Why would she work for someone this sneaky?

Because the nanny will be thinking about the best interest of the child and I am sure she loves him. Two is a terrible age to to transition into a institutional environment for a child who has only known one-on-one care (it is why preschools start at three-years-old not two) and the poor little thing is going to need all the consistency and support MB, DB and the nanny can muster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A foolish economy, OP. Your son will be sick a lot his first year in daycare -- make sure you have the time to take off a lot of work.

When you tell your nanny make sure to ask her is she will occasionally babysit your child so she doesn't just vanish from his life.

Why would she want to come back? OP has her son waitlisted for daycare and NEVER mentioned it the nanny. Why would she work for someone this sneaky?

Because the nanny will be thinking about the best interest of the child and I am sure she loves him. Two is a terrible age to to transition into a institutional environment for a child who has only known one-on-one care (it is why preschools start at three-years-old not two) and the poor little thing is going to need all the consistency and support MB, DB and the nanny can muster.

Oh please. This doesn't need to be a dramatic and traumatic thing. It's a perfectly normal evolution, and millions of kid do wonderfully in daycare. Lots of nannies know this is a natural transition also and appreciate an employer who gives good notice and good references.

There is no good reason to worry an employee that their job may or may not be ending (as would happen if you let her know that you've put your child on a waitlist). Ample notice and graciousness about severance, references, etc... are all that's required.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A foolish economy, OP. Your son will be sick a lot his first year in daycare -- make sure you have the time to take off a lot of work.

When you tell your nanny make sure to ask her is she will occasionally babysit your child so she doesn't just vanish from his life.

Why would she want to come back? OP has her son waitlisted for daycare and NEVER mentioned it the nanny. Why would she work for someone this sneaky?

Because the nanny will be thinking about the best interest of the child and I am sure she loves him. Two is a terrible age to to transition into a institutional environment for a child who has only known one-on-one care (it is why preschools start at three-years-old not two) and the poor little thing is going to need all the consistency and support MB, DB and the nanny can muster.

Bull! IT'S A JOB. The kid will forget about the nanny immediately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A foolish economy, OP. Your son will be sick a lot his first year in daycare -- make sure you have the time to take off a lot of work.

When you tell your nanny make sure to ask her is she will occasionally babysit your child so she doesn't just vanish from his life.

Why would she want to come back? OP has her son waitlisted for daycare and NEVER mentioned it the nanny. Why would she work for someone this sneaky?

Because the nanny will be thinking about the best interest of the child and I am sure she loves him. Two is a terrible age to to transition into a institutional environment for a child who has only known one-on-one care (it is why preschools start at three-years-old not two) and the poor little thing is going to need all the consistency and support MB, DB and the nanny can muster.

Bull! IT'S A JOB. The kid will forget about the nanny immediately.

Kids don't forget nannies immediately, not unless they have memory issues or are so young that object permanence isn't there yet.

[Anonymous]

I'm a nanny and I'd be hurt and angry that you had your kid on a daycare waiting list an didn't tell me. I would feel very betrayed. I'd expect at least a months notice, a great reference, or severance and a great reference.

[Anonymous]

I would be pissed. I never would accept a job from a family hoping to get into a daycare. You're going to spend more than $320/month on emergency care and sick time when your kid is sick every other week.

[Anonymous]

OP here.. Thanks everyone(even the snarky ones) I think I will give a months notice at least and a great ref. I have plenty of sick time left and a great employer so I am not too concerned about taking sick time if needed or working from home. while I sympathise with my nanny (hence the post in the first place) and will do whatever I can to help her I need to make a decision that is right for my child and me.

[Anonymous]

This just happened to me I was given no notice and I was a live in nanny so I had to pack up and leave within 2 days. I was given 2 weeks severance that helped ease the blow. Yes it was upsetting but life moves on.