Best way to start the conversation about leaving?

[Anonymous]

I am preparing to inform my NF I plan to move on from this job over the summer. I will be giving them at least 8 weeks notice and am wondering how other nannies go about this. I never see the parents together, dad in the morning and mom at night. I would like it to be in person but should it be both of them? Do I have to schedule a sit down? What's the best way to word what I have to say?

[Anonymous]

Be prepared for them to be angry at you and fire you on the spot. Or they might wait until they can manage to replace you. It's usually not a nice scene, no matter what you've given them, or for how long.

[Anonymous]

This is what I'm worried about...I get along with both MB and DB but I'm still wary and obviously have no clue how they will react. I guess there's not much more I can do but be clear and concise. I have been dreading this part so much I honestly think it has been keeping me from realizing that I really am ready and need to move on.

[Anonymous]

You just tell them. 8 weeks ahead of your date, you sit down and say, "I am so sorry to tell you this, but I will be resigning as of XXX. I've really enjoyed working for your family but I am moving on to do something different. I would love to work with you to help find you a replacement and help transition the kids."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am preparing to inform my NF I plan to move on from this job over the summer. I will be giving them at least 8 weeks notice and am wondering how other nannies go about this. I never see the parents together, dad in the morning and mom at night. I would like it to be in person but should it be both of them? Do I have to schedule a sit down? What's the best way to word what I have to say?

MB here. I would personally give less notice to protect yourself--4 weeks is still generous and gives them plenty of time to find a new nanny. I would also pick a time to talk that is less chaotic (in our case that would the end of the day, not the morning), and focus on that parent. Unless you have more of a relationship with one parent than another, then focus on whichever that is.

We have had a couple nannies move on and personally I had no problem with it. One moved out of the area, one pursued a passion she had that we'd long been aware of and we cheered her on for doing that. Just be professional and kind, understanding that this may create stress for them but that you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. You could also offer to ask around to see if you might find any leads for replacements, if that's something you'd be willing to do (minimal effort on your part, but the family may be very grateful even if it leads nowhere). Best of luck!

[Anonymous]

I would give 4 weeks.

[Anonymous]

I gave a long notice and was let go right away. Not worth it to give a notice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am preparing to inform my NF I plan to move on from this job over the summer. I will be giving them at least 8 weeks notice and am wondering how other nannies go about this. I never see the parents together, dad in the morning and mom at night. I would like it to be in person but should it be both of them? Do I have to schedule a sit down? What's the best way to word what I have to say?

MB here. I would personally give less notice to protect yourself--4 weeks is still generous and gives them plenty of time to find a new nanny. I would also pick a time to talk that is less chaotic (in our case that would the end of the day, not the morning), and focus on that parent. Unless you have more of a relationship with one parent than another, then focus on whichever that is.

We have had a couple nannies move on and personally I had no problem with it. One moved out of the area, one pursued a passion she had that we'd long been aware of and we cheered her on for doing that. Just be professional and kind, understanding that this may create stress for them but that you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. You could also offer to ask around to see if you might find any leads for replacements, if that's something you'd be willing to do (minimal effort on your part, but the family may be very grateful even if it leads nowhere). Best of luck!

Another MB. Totally agree with this advice - all of it.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone. I want to think the best of my NF and hope that they would just appreciate the extra time to obtain a replacement, but I think I should follow the advice here and wait a few more weeks to give notice. I really don't want to end this relationship on a bad note.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am preparing to inform my NF I plan to move on from this job over the summer. I will be giving them at least 8 weeks notice and am wondering how other nannies go about this. I never see the parents together, dad in the morning and mom at night. I would like it to be in person but should it be both of them? Do I have to schedule a sit down? What's the best way to word what I have to say?

Laudable but don't give more than two weeks notice.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like your contract does not specify the amount of notice either party should give in ending the employment arrangement. I strongly encourage you to consider including this in your next employment situation. This provides both you and the family with the opportunity to agree in advance how much time is reasonable to find another situation. Personally, I think 2 weeks is not nearly enough time to find alternate care. My current agreement states that four weeks notice will be given, but I already know I will give my nanny at least 6 weeks notice when the time comes, and more likely 8+ if I can.

[Anonymous]

When you catch either Mom or Dad during the day, let them know that you need to discuss something important w/them. Ask the parent you are talking to if there is a good time that you can all meet together. If that isn't feasible, then perhaps you can set aside a time that you can sit down w/just one of them.

Anyway, let them know that you will not be available after the summer. Whether or not you want to state the reason(s) why is entirely up to you.

If you have been w/them for awhile it is only natural for them to want to know.

Then since you are giving such a long notice, they can begin their search for a brand new nanny.

A caveat: Some families tend to get angry (unreasonably so for your case) + tend to fire the nanny on the spot or shortly thereafter.

Or:

They may find a new nanny sooner rather than later and want to have her start prior to when you are supposed to leave.

Be prepared for either of these actions financially.

Good luck to all of you!

[Anonymous]

+1000

[Anonymous]

I saw this post yesterday and didn't have time to respond but was going to do as others have done and discourage you from giving so much notice. 3-4 weeks is a nice amount. Less amount while standard in the business world, seems too short in the nanny world where it's really about a good fit.

All told, no matter how they react, you'll feel better when it's done. I've only given notice once and it was anxiety inducing but it just wasn't a good fit for various reasons. All told, even if they treat you poorly (and they probably won't in reality) don't do or say anything you wouldn't want on the 5:00 news. Just be kind and go out on a note knowing you were not the problem.

[Anonymous]

Mom here. Don't give 8 weeks. It's too much. 4 is better.