I a just a babysitter...

[Anonymous]

... and not a nanny. I've been working as a sitter for a few families while I've been in school.

Yesterday, for the first time, I cared for a child I just did not like at all. This has never happened to me before. He was nearly four-years-old, not toilet trained, and would have an epic meltdown/tantrum every time I refused to let him do something. (For example, right in the middle of his dinner he got up and told me he wanted me to come into the living room and play with him. I told him that we would play after dinner and he started sobbing, "But I want you to play with me now!" When I asked him if he was finished with dinner, he screamed no - that he was still hungry.) He hit me twice when I tried to change his pull-ups. Then, everything was fine and we were talking and laughing as I got him dressed for bed -- and he suddenly kicked me purposely in the face!

Obviously, I will not sit for him again bit I was wondering how often this happens for babysitters - when you just do not care for the child in your care?

[Anonymous]

Some children are being raised horribly and are truly brats.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he was testing you and when you demonstrated weakness, he escalated. Leaving the table during dinner was a test. The key is not to react. Simply state the rules and carry out the consequences, regardless of how much he screams. If he gets so loud you can't stand it, walk away. When he hit you, did he get a time out?

Since you were sitting for him the first time, I would have called the parents to come home after the second outburst. Four years old is too old to have no anger management skills. If he's special needs, then they need to find a regular sitter who's trained to deal violent outbursts. If he's just being poorly raised, then the parents need to face the music and understand that their son's behavior limits how much they can go out.

[Anonymous]

I've been a nanny for over twenty years and a babysitter prior to becoming a nanny and it has only happened to me once. Just move on, OP.

[Anonymous]

I do regular babysitting for a few families and sometimes they recommend me to their acquaintances. One of those referral jobs with a 7yo girl. The girl opened the door when I rang and greeted me with 'Hello, poop' - and that was the high point of the evening. I never babysat for them again.

I've been doing this for almost ten years and I've only had two cases like this, so just chuck it up to a learning experience and decline if they ask you to sit for them again.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he's just 4, with a new caregiver, and a disrupted routine that day. Maybe he didn't nap, maybe he's fighting a cold, maybe he has parents who don't know how to teach emotional regulation, who knows...

Kind of sad for both of you but if you don't choose to sit for them again that's fine.

[Anonymous]

Caregiver changes are usually rough on kids. You have to feel sorry about that.

[Anonymous]

Nearly 4yrs old and not toilet trained? Probably had some underlying issues that you are not aware of.

I do think though, it takes more than one time to get accustomed to a child. My 5yr old hit our AP the other day and it took all my self control not to spank his little ass. I made it clear as day to him that if he does that to her again, then there will be some serious consequences. The 4 of us sat him down....myself, dad, AP, and him. He heard the message loud and clear. It is important that the parents be told about that and that they handle the situation. Hitting is a normal part of growing up and each time it happens, it is an opportunity to teach them and help them grow.

You are reasonable in your decision to never return.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nearly 4yrs old and not toilet trained? Probably had some underlying issues that you are not aware of.

I do think though, it takes more than one time to get accustomed to a child. My 5yr old hit our AP the other day and it took all my self control not to spank his little ass. I made it clear as day to him that if he does that to her again, then there will be some serious consequences. The 4 of us sat him down....myself, dad, AP, and him. He heard the message loud and clear. It is important that the parents be told about that and that they handle the situation. Hitting is a normal part of growing up and each time it happens, it is an opportunity to teach them and help them grow.

You are reasonable in your decision to never return.

Why weren't there serious consequences the first time?

[Anonymous]

Sure it happens.

With me, sometimes it takes me a few times watching a child before I can form a bond with them.

Even the worst kids I eventually grow to love if I care for them enough.

I have a lot of empathy however. I am not sure other nannies have my level of tolerance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nearly 4yrs old and not toilet trained? Probably had some underlying issues that you are not aware of.

I do think though, it takes more than one time to get accustomed to a child. My 5yr old hit our AP the other day and it took all my self control not to spank his little ass. I made it clear as day to him that if he does that to her again, then there will be some serious consequences. The 4 of us sat him down....myself, dad, AP, and him. He heard the message loud and clear. It is important that the parents be told about that and that they handle the situation. Hitting is a normal part of growing up and each time it happens, it is an opportunity to teach them and help them grow.

You are reasonable in your decision to never return.

Why weren't there serious consequences the first time?

Because there won't be serious consequences the second time either, that's why her child hits adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nearly 4yrs old and not toilet trained? Probably had some underlying issues that you are not aware of.

I do think though, it takes more than one time to get accustomed to a child. My 5yr old hit our AP the other day and it took all my self control not to spank his little ass. I made it clear as day to him that if he does that to her again, then there will be some serious consequences. The 4 of us sat him down....myself, dad, AP, and him. He heard the message loud and clear. It is important that the parents be told about that and that they handle the situation. Hitting is a normal part of growing up and each time it happens, it is an opportunity to teach them and help them grow.

You are reasonable in your decision to never return.

Hitting is NOT a normal part of growing up. If you think it is, you're in for BIG trouble down the road. Mark my words.

[Anonymous]

I've had one bad experience like your, OP, and I never went back either. Life is too short. Your charge was a brat and I'm sure his parents run through sitters like crazy.