follow up with references

[Anonymous]

Has anyone ever had a bad experience with a nanny and followed up with her references to let them know about it?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't. Your personal experience with her shouldn't have an impact on any previous good work that she did. Unless she went so far as to steal personal property from you or abuse your child, I think this would be completely out of line.

[Anonymous]

Depending on what the bad experience was. I agree with PP, although lying should be considered as well. Especially if it involved your child.

[Anonymous]

Unless her behavior was criminal, I absolutely would not call her references. If they gave her a glowing review to you they wouldn't believe you anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone ever had a bad experience with a nanny and followed up with her references to let them know about it?

No. I let it go. (And so should you).

[Anonymous]

Once you have spoken to my reference for a REFERENCE, you have no need to ever contact them again. Lose their number, delete their emails. You are putting my relationship with them, and my good reference, in jeopardy; I can hardly think of a reason why this would ever be justified.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone ever had a bad experience with a nanny and followed up with her references to let them know about it?

If someone were to all my references to say something like that, they would think you were out of your mind and would tell me immediately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone ever had a bad experience with a nanny and followed up with her references to let them know about it?

We had to.
Our first nanny, whom we needed from 8am to 5:30pm was acting very odd - asking for more money, asking to cut her hours to 4pm so she could do a different after school job, asking/wanting to take our kids with her to secondary jobs, etc.
We call her former family and inquired if they every had some many retrades or if there were money problems. It was a helpful call, especially since the nanny was making it sound like this other mother was bribing her to keep working with them after school hours.
Nanny ultimately had to choose between a FT job with guaranteed hours & ability to grow with a young family versus getting cash to pick up two students for 2-3 hours a day but at a higher rate.

Just showed some cluelessness and we were able to move on from it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone ever had a bad experience with a nanny and followed up with her references to let them know about it?

Slander lawsuit coming your way.

[Anonymous]

Here's the thing their experience with her is not your experience with her.
They aren't likely to tell folks that call them well she was good for us but the next family didn't like her.

Just refuse to give her a reference or share your experience with callers when they call you.

Subsequent families will get the picture.

If she was abusing your child or committing another crime then you need to report it through the proper channels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone ever had a bad experience with a nanny and followed up with her references to let them know about it?

We had to.
Our first nanny, whom we needed from 8am to 5:30pm was acting very odd - asking for more money, asking to cut her hours to 4pm so she could do a different after school job, asking/wanting to take our kids with her to secondary jobs, etc.
We call her former family and inquired if they every had some many retrades or if there were money problems. It was a helpful call, especially since the nanny was making it sound like this other mother was bribing her to keep working with them after school hours.
Nanny ultimately had to choose between a FT job with guaranteed hours & ability to grow with a young family versus getting cash to pick up two students for 2-3 hours a day but at a higher rate.

Just showed some cluelessness and we were able to move on from it.

If I understand your post, you didn't call the nanny's former employer/reference - you called the other family she was working for at the same time that she was working for you. That is a totally different situation than calling someone's references and telling them that they were wrong to give this person a referral/recommendation since this person didn't work out for you.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't.

While quite tempting I admit, it wouldn't be wise to do so.

I would simply count my loss + move on.

Reason being is that involving a third party will do no good for anyone. If they had a good experience w/her and you did not, they will still praise her work to whomever asks them since they do not know you personally and they do her.