Vacationing with NF
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Anonymous
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My NF has asked me to come to France with them for a combination vacation/business trip (for MB). DB will not be coming. It's only 5 days, there will be 2 days where MB will be out of the area we are staying in and will be in another hotel for a meeting or conference or something, so that means 2 days where I'm with the kids 24/7 and 3 days where she may come and go and have meeting or something or we may go out exploring for a half a day or something, not really sure.
My main question is what should I ask for in pay, as MB has asked me to discuss compensation for the trip. My feelings are that I don't need to be paid for every hour I'm there or even every hour I'm responsible for the kids, I'm happy with close to my typical pay and getting a wonderful trip out of it. I would like to make it cost effective for MB so she may consider doing this again or more often as I would much rather have the experience than a little bit of extra cash one time. Can anyone suggest a way to structure my offer/desired compensation so it's clear and simple to present, seems fair to me, and make MB feel like she is getting a great deal and having the nanny come along is totally worth. My NF isn't super wealthy but they pay well and are very respectful, so I don't want to break the bank for them, it should be a win-win for all. Ideas? |
Anonymous
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If you're comfortable with it, ask for your normal salary plus all expenses covered- all meals, flights, hotel (will you be sharing with MB and the kids when she's there? Possibly ask for a suite so when the kids go to bed you can still have some time for TV, reading, etc).
You could also ask for spending money for yourself and/or the kids. |
Anonymous
This sounds good to me. Also, maybe a schedule for the three days she is around, so that you can plan some time to explore the city without kids. |
Anonymous
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This is a great question and an interesting dilemma. A trip to France is fantastic even with your charges in tow! In order to let MB know that you want to be included in future trips I would suggest all expenses (of course) and all meals and sight seeing money. But I wouldn't ask for much more than my regular salary even though you will absolutely be working more. Don't hit her with time-and-a-half.
Honestly, most vacation spots that parents take me on are gruesome (Disney World, a rented beach house) and I do ask for my hourly rate for every hour I am in charge of the kids. But for a trip to France? I'd do it for free! (Don't tell you MB that!) |
Anonymous
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How old are the kids? Do they sleep through the night?
I'd want to find out more about the schedule, especially on the days you'll be alone with the kids. Will there be things nearby you can take them to? Do you want to bring me?! 
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Anonymous
OP, yes, they are preschoolers so it should be enjoyable and a little more laid back. Sleeping shouldn't be an issue. There might not be absolutely amazing kid things to see and do, but I feel they will have a fun time exploring a new place, trying new foods, hearing new sounds, etc. I'm sure we will find things to do. MB isn't too strict about what the kids do and don't do, we mesh well on practices, so schedule wise it should be pretty similar to normal day at home plus a bedtime routine. Not a big deal imo and why I don't really feel like asking for over the moon compensation. |
Anonymous
| Regular hourly rate, plus OT, she pays for ALL your Expenses. France isn't so great that you forego OT. I would decline because kids will be miserable. Look at a map and you will see that it is very cold in France this time of year. Stay home. |
Anonymous
OP again, so I can decline meaning MB leaves the kids with DB, meaning I work my regular schedule for my regular pay and just go home after work like normal. Or I can go to France with people I enjoy, do something special for MB, also get my same pay plus maybe some small extra, and have a wonderful experience and memories in exchange for sleeping in a hotel room with my charges. Yea, I think I'm going to stick with France. Thanks for the input though. |
Anonymous
| My first nanny job out of college was in France, OP. Where are you going to be? (What city/region?) |
Anonymous
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I'm very jealous. I've had a couple families say they planned to take me on vacations to exotic locations with them in the future during the interview process. But when vacation time came they always asked me to stay home and take care of their dog instead :/ I only ever went on one trip with a NF, for two nights in Pittsburgh (from DC). It was not a fun trip.
Have an awesome time in France! I agree asking for base salary plus meals and expenses paid and spending money to use with the kids sounds like a great plan! I also support the idea of asking for clarification about what free time you will have to explore on your own. |
Anonymous
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What you ask for this trip establishes pay expectations for all future trips, so I would suggest that you explain first that while you would normally charge OT, you are willing to forego that for THIS trip, since you know the travel costs will be fairly high.
Then suggest that you be paid your normal hourly rate for all awake working hours, and a small overnight rate for sharing a room with the kids. Next ask to work out a tentative schedule for the 3 days MB will be with you. If you want to be generous, don't charge for airplane travel time. Go in a little high to leave room to negotiate. |
Anonymous
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Regular pay and expenses.
The only way this makes sense to her is because her company is covering her and she is covering you and the kids I order to give you/them an interesting experience. Which is great! |
Anonymous
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Your regular pay for working hours plus hotel, meals, flights paid. I don't think you need to charge extra, you're getting a trip out of this, and it's better than a few extra bucks. I would clarify in advance the days MB will be able to join you, see if you can definitely have some time on your own, if you want that.
Going to a new place with kids your age will be so much fun! Do lots of research before you go, prepare cool activities for them like sightseeing or food scavenger hunts, diaries, all this stuff and you will have such a fantastic time! Enjoy! |
Anonymous
Keep in mind jet lag with the time change. If you're feeling proactive in your free time, I'd look up parks or local attractions near the hotels where you'll be staying. I would think the hotels have a concierge who can also help you. I'd be inclined to ask for my flights/meals/hotel paid for, pay for a regular work week, plus a little extra money because of the two days you'll be on your own 24/7. I like the PPs suggestion to explain it that you're willing to accept less pay for this trip because it's France. (I've done something similar, FWIW) When I've traveled with families in the past, I've shared a room with charges on some occasions. Honestly, we were always so tired by the end of the day from all of the activities that we ALL slept through the night. 
Random traveling notes: I'd use a backpack of some sort as a carry on bag. Easy to keep your hands free while you're in the airport. Keep room in your checked bag for any extras you buy there. If the kids aren't potty trained or freshly potty trained, pack extra changes of clothes! Remember lovies, night lights, sound machines, etc for night time. Remember that outlets won't accept US chargers. Get a converter. ...sorry. I'm going into my packing list. If you need help when it comes time for that, please post back! I love packing for trips. Excited for you, OP!
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Anonymous
| OP, if you want to be asked on trips like this going forward, then do an hour or two of research on your own time to find child-friendly things to do/see while you're there. My nanny does this and I love it. He gives me a list of which places he'll go each day. Playgrounds, kid museums, tourist attractions they'll like, whatever the case may be. Check if there's a pool in the hotel so you can take the kids swimming. |