21 weeks and feeling overwhelmed, Help!

[RobareHenderson]

Hello, my husband and I are very new to the DC area and expecting our first child in 19 weeks! Since we both work crazy hours (8am to 11pm) we are nervous about child care. I am starting to think Nannies are the way to go for our family. Any suggestions or tips? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

With those type of hours I would suggest a live in nanny.

[Anonymous]

Who will do babycare at night?

[Anonymous]

15 hour days five days a week? Yikes! You will be paying 25 hours at time and a half! With your hours, yes, a nanny or two would be needed.

We found our amazing nanny on care.com. Granted, I think we just got really lucky. She is an American, middle-aged woman who was a preschool and elementary school teacher before becoming a nanny. She has been with us since DS was born 15 months ago. She has more energy and imagination than I ever had!!! We pay $20 an hour now (started at 19) and benefits.

Good luck. You can also try signing up with an agency but that would be more costly.

[Anonymous]

What do you and your husband do that late every night?

[RobareHenderson]

Thank you! My husband works in the restaurant industry and work retail. So crazy hours! Unfortunately a live in Nanny would not work in our small apartment in NE. What kind of questions should we be asking during interviews? Again, at a loss.

[Anonymous]

You would need two nannies. How about a friend or family?

[Anonymous]

RobareHenderson wrote:Thank you! My husband works in the restaurant industry and work retail. So crazy hours! Unfortunately a live in Nanny would not work in our small apartment in NE. What kind of questions should we be asking during interviews? Again, at a loss.

sorry I don't mean to sound bad or judgmental ( I work too and have kids), but can one of you change job at least for a while and have more normal hours? if you really are out of the house 8am to 11 pm, not only you will pay a fortune for child care (you will need two nannies probably), but you will never see your child (and what's worse your child will never see his parents). can you do it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

RobareHenderson wrote:Thank you! My husband works in the restaurant industry and work retail. So crazy hours! Unfortunately a live in Nanny would not work in our small apartment in NE. What kind of questions should we be asking during interviews? Again, at a loss.

sorry I don't mean to sound bad or judgmental ( I work too and have kids), but can one of you change job at least for a while and have more normal hours? if you really are out of the house 8am to 11 pm, not only you will pay a fortune for child care (you will need two nannies probably), but you will never see your child (and what's worse your child will never see his parents). can you do it?

Agreed. I too want to say this as gently as possible, (a lot of parents get a ton of unnecessary flames for their work hours) but in addition to PPs concerns about getting to see your child, this schedule sounds really unsustainable when you add an infant on top of it. Not sleeping much at night and then working those kinds of hours sounds like a recipe for burn out.

Many of the parents I've worked for decided to stagger their work hours so that they each get more time with the kids, and can cut down on how many child care hours they need. Is that at all possible for you and DH?

[Anonymous]

Can you even afford to have a nanny for that amount of hours? You'd be paying for two nannies and pushing close to 80k between them. Wouldn't it be cheaper for one parent to just stay home the first few years then pay for some else to raise your child?

[Anonymous]

Is it really 15 hours a day/ five days a week, OP? That is a staggering amount of time for BOTH of you to be away from your baby and a very long day for the nanny (but I would do it for 25 hours a week at time and a half!)

[Anonymous]

RobareHenderson wrote:Thank you! My husband works in the restaurant industry and work retail. So crazy hours! Unfortunately a live in Nanny would not work in our small apartment in NE. What kind of questions should we be asking during interviews? Again, at a loss.

The first question should be, "Can you work 15 hours a day for five days a week?" That will thin the herd!

[Anonymous]

I think you should plan for a two nanny solution. With one nanny you will be working her extremely hard, paying a FORTUNE in overtime, and run the risk of burnout. You also will struggle with back-up care when the nanny gets sick, takes vacation, etc...

If you plan for two nannies you can have a built in emergency back-up and not have to pay overtime rates.

Also, your schedule is a nightmare, but that's your call.

IMO you shouldn't start looking for nannies until a few weeks before your maternity leave will be ending. There's no point searching this far in advance.

[Anonymous]

Are you serious? You both work 15 hrs/day M-F? Well, a nanny for that would be crazy expensive - 35 hours of OT pay a week. So, even if you found some one willing to work those crazy hours for you at $15/hr (which is the lowest you'd probably get), it's (15*40)+(15*1.5*35) = $1387.50/week. If you broke it up into two jobs (one 40 hrs/wk & one 35 hrs/wk) with two nannies, you come to $1125/week. That's before taxes and any benefits.

I'd look for a daycare center near your home and have the nanny work 6p - 11pm M-F. Maybe you'll find a student who'd be happy with that schedule. But, with infant care at a center running $300-350/week, plus the $375/week for infant care, that's much more reasonable.

[Anonymous]

find a good affordable daycare- get your name on lists now. Then find a good local evening babysitter, maybe someone in your building or on your block. That's what we did. It kept it affordable, but we didn't work quite as much as you.
Hopefully you get a maternity leave. Then maybe you go back, you and your husband could arrange to have different days off, so you could be home with the baby at least 3-4 days/week.
Good luck