How to tell family I will not be taking their position after accepting job?
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Anonymous
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I accepted a position a few months ago due to start in early 2015. It has been like pulling teeth to get the work agreement sent over to me. It's been several weeks between correspondences from the family and now just over a month from starting I still don't have a final work agreement (was told I'd have it early last week and still nothing). At this point, I'm not interested in working with this family due to the flakiness. Also, circumstances have changed in regards to my family and one aspect of the job really won't work for me anymore due to the changes in my situation.
I plan to wait until I hear from them again to let them know my decision. How do I nicely tell them I'm not interested in working for them anymore? I was going to say something like "after not hearing from you for so long I've accepted another position as I was in no position to wait around." I do feel a little bad about backing out on them but I don't see this being a good fit based on their lack of timeliness. How should I word my next correspondence? TIA! |
Anonymous
| Thank you for your offer, but unfortunately I'm not able to wait any longer for the work agreement and Will be seeking out other employment. |
Anonymous
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I've never gotten as far as you in the process when needing to turn a family down, but my go-to excuse for turning down an offer is usually to claim that the commute is unsustainable.
How personal are your own family circumstances? If its something simple, like say childcare for your own child changing and now you'll be looking for different hours, then I think it's fine to just tell them that. If its something more personal/difficult then I understand not wanting to disclose that to them. If neither of those works for you, then I do think its ok to cite their lack of communication. I would just be very delicate in how you phrase it, because while I don't blame you for needing to back out, it's still not exactly great on your part. What you wrote sounds ok, I would maybe just remove the "as I was in no position to wait around" as that sounds more accusatory than you probably want to be in a professional context. |
Anonymous
My situation is financial in nature. This position comes with shorter hours in the summer and therefore less pay. Our financial situation has changed recently due to several unforeseen circumstances and this position no longer meets my financial needs |
Anonymous
I like this. Go on to say thank you and wish them the best. It sounds like you dodged a bullet with this family. |
Anonymous
| Tell them asap. They will need time to find childcare. At this late a time they may be in a real pickle if they were counting on you. Maybe you can work until summer and both parties can make new arrangements for then. |
Anonymous
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Tell them now and be done with it.
You have already agreed too work for them so they need time to replace you. Thank you for the offer, but my needs have changed blah blah I wish you the best in finding a nanny. |
Anonymous
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1) Tell them right away
2) Be vague. There is no point in trying to make them feel bad about the delay, especially since that is not even the real reason. They are not children you should be correcting. Language: "I am so sorry, but I no longer believe we will be a good long-term fit. I wish you all the best in finding a perfect nanny for your family." |
Anonymous
| Why should she tell the right away? Its not like she needs a reference from them, and they haven't been in any rush to communicate or worry about OPs needs. All of this is their fault, so any rushing to find childcare is their consequence to bear. |
Anonymous
Because its called being a nice human being. It's called treating people the way you want to be treated. It's called two wrongs don't make a right. Basically it's called not being bitter old you. |
Anonymous
Call me whatever you want, but if you treat me like crap, I'm not going out of my way to help you. They'll find out they lost their nanny when they care enough to communicate. Maybe next time they won't do the same crap. |
Anonymous
| No ones treated her like crap. I've had plenty of jobs were the terms were hashed out during the interview and the work agreement was more of a formality. The family may not feel there is a huge rush. |
Anonymous
Aside from the fact that their lack of organization does not justify her in intentionally making their lives more difficult, she should tell them immediately so that when she interviews with someone who knows them, they won't have heard stories about the terrible terrible nanny who accepted their job and then didn't even tell him she had taken another position until near days before she was supposed to begin. she should tell them because she wants to be a professional with a sterling reputation, and the nanny industry is a very small world. |
Anonymous
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Tell them immediately. Just say you're very sorry but your circumstances have changed and you will no longer be able to accept the position. Wish them the best.
Take the high road - you reap what you sow. |
Anonymous
| Just tell them you are no longer interested. They don't give a f* about you, why would you care about them?!?!? |