DB worried I am boring their baby

[Anonymous]

I had a brief chat with DB Monday about how our day went. He works from home and came down mid day to play with DC who is 6 months. We are in a nanny share. DB played with his baby and seemed to be having fun so I did not mind the interruption. But, every time the other baby came anywhere near them he picked up his child and moved to another area of the room, completely ignoring DC2. DC2 is not yet a year old and kept crawling after them trying to play along. Despite my best efforts at distraction DC 2 was eager to engage him. Finally, I took DC2 to another part of the house entirely as DB was obviously wanting to play solo with DC1.


At the end of the day he told me he is worried I am not able to keep the kids entertained and that DC2 seemed bored with my company. I was really shocked. It hurt my feelings to see DC2 rejected every time he would abruptly pick up his baby and move away. It took me a few minutes to accept that his behavior was intentional as it seemed too mean a thing to do to a child seeking acceptance. So, At first I sat back thinking she would be welcome to play along and I would lend support in case he got overwhelmed.


Should I address this on Monday? Let it go unless it comes up again? Tell the other parents how their child was treated? Should I address his accusation but let go my judgement about his behavior toward DC2?

[Anonymous]

I'm a little confused by your post but I'm not sure why you are so upset that he wanted to play with just his kid? They aren't both his kids right?

[Anonymous]

DB seems like a db.
You can keep that to yourself.
If DB tries to discuss the situation with others he won't come across well.
Do look for another job. It appears this guy is looking for reasons to be critical of you,and will try to spread that to the other family.
Hopefully you can find a job with one family that can afford a nanny.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm not saying that maybe you aren't quite understanding what DB was saying, but you do seem to be overreacting a bit. Tell the other parents what exactly? That he wanted to play with his own kid and not theirs? Just doesn't seem to be as big of a deal as you are making it.

[Anonymous]

I don't think op is over reacting at all. Sounds like her db is not happy with her work performance as he said he is worried op can't keep the babies entertained and that dc 2 was bored.

Op I would think of some fun new things to do with the babies, spice it up a bit. Do both families celebrate Christmas ? If so that might be a fun way to entertain them with holiday crafts, senenory shakers with holiday things inside . I get that they are babies but I would just try to entertain them in a different way then you already are.

[Anonymous]

Pp here. Sorry perhaps overreacting was the wrong word. Maybe misunderstanding? I could see dad saying something along the lines of DC2 (not his kid) seeming bored and like nanny wasn't entertaining DC2 because the baby kept following them around while DB was playing with his own kid and nanny sat back and didn't seem engaged.

[Anonymous]

Next time he comes out to play, ask "DB, do you want solo playtime with your dc? If so, I will take other child out for a walk/to a different room to play. She's too young to understand that you only are interested in playing with your dc!"

You could also "apologize" for not realizing he wanted ^^^^ and assure him you'll take the other baby out next time so she doesn't bother him.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why DB did not just say he wanted a play date with the baby. Why the dramatic rejection of the other child? Why criticize the nanny when he is the one barging in and interrupting the routine? Dab is petulant.

[Anonymous]

DB has a point, he came in to play with his baby and you couldn't entertain one solo? I would ask to meet with DB and explain that you will try harder to engage the children. Tell him you were out of sorts that day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DB has a point, he came in to play with his baby and you couldn't entertain one solo? I would ask to meet with DB and explain that you will try harder to engage the children. Tell him you were out of sorts that day.

No no no

[Anonymous]

I think it's really strange that you expected DB to entertain both kids....when I visit my daughter at her daycare during the day I smile at the other babies but I certainly don't play or engage with them.

[Anonymous]

I think it's really strange that you expected DB to entertain both kids....when I visit my daughter at her daycare during the day I smile at the other babies but I certainly don't play or engage with them.

+1. You also don't seem to understand child development. These kids are too young to be engaging in interactive play. Parallel play is the norm. So DC2 should be very easily occupied by the nanny while DB played with his own child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think it's really strange that you expected DB to entertain both kids....when I visit my daughter at her daycare during the day I smile at the other babies but I certainly don't play or engage with them.

+1. You also don't seem to understand child development. These kids are too young to be engaging in interactive play. Parallel play is the norm. So DC2 should be very easily occupied by the nanny while DB played with his own child.

No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I think it's really strange that you expected DB to entertain both kids....when I visit my daughter at her daycare during the day I smile at the other babies but I certainly don't play or engage with them.

+1. You also don't seem to understand child development. These kids are too young to be engaging in interactive play. Parallel play is the norm. So DC2 should be very easily occupied by the nanny while DB played with his own child.

No

No what? You do get the other kid is not his right ?

[Anonymous]

From the way you have it worded, it seems to me that DB was concerned you weren't keeping the other child entertained.

At the end of the day he told me he is worried I am not able to keep the kids entertained and that DC2 seemed bored with my company.

So... he thinks because the other child kept following him, you aren't keeping them entertained?

You should have been able to keep the second child busy. I don't know why you would think he was there to play with a child who isn't his, or what you would say about it on Monday.