MB's only - WWYD if husband made advances at nanny?

[Anonymous]

I've been with my NF for a few months and kind of feel uncomfortable. When I started DB checked me out in front of MB. People check others out all the time so I didn't say much. I don't dress provactively but I've caught DB checking me out a few times. One time I looked up and he was staring at me. I chalked it up to him watching my charge and I interact, but I caught him do that once without my charge around. He has asked about boyfriends and my ex but nothing too personal and MB and I talk about that stuff. These past 2 weeks MB has been leaving earlier and DB is here when I arrive. Last week DB walks down in a robe with nothing underneath. The top half was open and the robe was loosely closed. He generally doesn't come downstairs until he is dressed or if he did, was always in sweats. That morning he came down for no reason but to say " hi" and while walking closer he locked eyes and had a smirk on his face. He did put his hands by his junk to pull close his robe. Then he bent over almost in front of me.

Since the incident last week, I feeling uncomfortable seeing him next. I'm not sure if I'm reading too much into it or if he purposely knew what he was doing. I've never or would ever be interested in any boss of mine. I'm sure this behavior isn't enough to warrant any serious action like quiting but I would love opions on what to do or how to handle it. MB's responses are greatly appreciated on how they would feel if their husband did this to a nanny.

Update: MB has been traveling this week I had to stay late. Normally the baby is in bed and I'm free to leave after they arrive. This time DB stalled on getting me a taxi and and asked if I wanted wine. I said " no thank you. I'm ready to leave now." In all fairness MB has asked if I wanted wine while I waited for my taxi. I don't think it's appropriate for DB to ask me alone.

I need opinions from MB. I love my job but I dread being alone with DB.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, but who are you kidding? You JUST posted this story the other day

[Anonymous]

MB here, who's been on this board a while and not buying this as a legit post either, especially with the wine addition - that rings a very familiar bell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here, who's been on this board a while and not buying this as a legit post either, especially with the wine addition - that rings a very familiar bell.

Yeah, because she literally just posted this story a couple of days ago.

[Anonymous]

Did you think people would believe you any more if you changed the wording? Here is your post from Sunday in case you couldn't find it.
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/nanny-forum/posts/list/300931.page

[Anonymous]

I did post it a day ago but didnt receive any opinions, like I asked, from MB's. So many people on here are so quick to call " troll" is its a story they don't like. Many women do get hit on by their bosses. This is a real situation and I've been asked at least a dozen times if I wanted wine while I waited and my charge was already in bed. My boss has been making advances at me. Too bad if you don't believe it.

[Anonymous]

I'll bite. If this happened, it's not coming out of nowhere. I would be shocked if DB didn't have a history of similar behavior, and even more shocked if MB didn't have a clue.

That said, there is no way telling MB works out to DB stopping the behavior and you keeping your job. MB doesn't have that kind of control over another grown-up in her house, even if she was willing to totally take your side and not care that DB is attracted to you.

[Anonymous]

Next time he offers you wine, look him straightin the eyes and say "no, thank you I'm not interested" then walk out the house and wait for your cab down the street or corner store. This should be direct enough for him to get the hint and passive enough to not turn it into a big deal. But honestly, I would seek new employment because the advances might become more frequent andaggressive.

[Anonymous]

I don't think I will ever tell MB because its awkward and most wives side with their husbands. In the interview he checked me out by looking me over. MB was a few inches away but didnt say anything about it. I'm not sure if she is used to it and deals with it or what. They hired me anyway. I dress down as possible and never wear makeup and stuff. He is kind of nosy. I stayed late one night and my boyfriend picked me up. MB and DB both met him. The next day DB was asking a lot of questions about my relationship. I do talk with MB about lots of things and discuss my plans for the weekend, etc., so I'm not sure if some questions are just him being nice. I know that he doesn't act this way when MB is on the room.

This may not mean anything but he was a bachelor and word on the street ( can't be certain) is DB cheated on MB with a neighbors wife. I won't say it's a fact because I'm not sure. I really like them and don't want to quit but my boyfriend said I need to because an employer should not be making a nanny uncomfortable like that.

[Anonymous]

How your MB might feel about what's happened is not important. You need to define your boundaries. He may be encouraged by the fact that you have not been forthcoming with the wife about what has happened in the past. It suggests you are insecure, more concerned with keeping the balance then asserting your right to be free of harassment in the workplace.

I don't know how I would react if the nanny told me the same story. I do believe her own actions would weigh in favor or in contrast to her claims though. You can't forecast how it will end without knowing all the information available to the wife - does she trust her partner? Does he have a history of harassing women? What is his perspective on the incident? If he is guilty, is it possible that counseling can fix the issues in the relationship?

There are many considerations.

[Anonymous]

Such a disappointment. You aren't even a good troll.

[Anonymous]

You're obnoxious.

Don't take a job if the husband makes you feel uncomfortable. Be a grown up and nip things in the bud if need be.

Stop looking for/creating or indulging in drama.

Or - just quit.

Now please go away.

[Anonymous]

I took the time to offer you advice the other day, and here you are again asking for advice.

If you are going to re-post and re-post and ignore the advice you get, then stop coming on here and taking up space and wasting time.

If you are not going to leave this job, then go ahead and stay. Do whatever you want to do.

Just stop complaining to us about it!

[Anonymous]

The whole he checked me out thing I just find annoying. People look at other people because we have eyes.

[Anonymous]

This useless story has been repeated so many times on this forum.

OP, go take your DB fantasy somewhere else. No one will fill in the MBs outrage for you to get your jollies on.

Just stop.