Disappointment in not being chosen

[Anonymous]

I always get so let down when I interview with a family, think we have a good rapport going on, and then they don't pick me. I especially hate when they don't have the respect to let me know they've chosen someone else. The last family I interviewed I thought I really hit off with. Maybe it should've been a clue when they told me that the last time they had hired a nanny they had interviewed 20 nannies!!!!! And then when I log onto care.com I see that family has put up a new ad for a nanny, but of course didn't let me know I wasn't chosen. Plus I feel like everytime I go on an interview and hand them my references and then they don't pick me that i am waisting my references cause eventually my references are going to get tired of being called by so many prospective families. Of course you have to provide references but when you are interviewing with many families I feel like I am "bothering" my references to be called so much. I have very few references only 3!!

[Anonymous]

Hang in there, I think a big part of the problem is people who just post an ad without much thought to how expensive having a nanny really is. I think they end up changing their minds or they keep posting hoping to find ridiculously cheap care.

I'd also suggest telling families early on that you will gladly provide references after the interview, nothing personal you just like to meet the family and make sure everyone is on the same page before giving out their contact info. It doesn't make sense to have a family you've never met that you may not even like calling and wasting your references time...make sure you want the job first. People with common sense and respect will understand this, if they don't you don't want their job anyway.

[Anonymous]

They are hiring someone to be around their child all day. Of course they will interview a lot of people and be picky.

[Anonymous]

Actually, the expense of a nanny really isn't a big part of the problem when families post ads. It's just difficult to find the best nanny for a specific job with the necessary qualifications. Anyone can call themselves a nanny.

If you have so few references, OP, perhaps the problem is that you don't have much experience. Or it could simply be that they felt like another candidate was a better fit. Finding a job these days can take awhile. Hang in there and find ways to make yourself stand out among candidates. Do you have a portfolio that shows your skills and experience?

As for the contact part, do you send a thank you email after each interview, asking about followup? If you do that, a lot of families will let you know they went with someone else.

[Anonymous]

I feel your pain OP. The rejection when looking for a job can be tough, but try to keep your chin up because eventually everyone does end up finding a job. It just takes time and patience.

I agree w/you regarding references.
What I do is I do not provide my reference's contact information until AFTER I interview w/a prospective family AND I feel that we may be a good fit. Then I will give them my references.

I do not want to exhaust my references so I never give them out to people I have not even met before.

My references are working full~time as well as caring for young children so they are doing me a huge favor by vouching for me and helping me get a new job. It would be just rude of me to give their contact information out randomly to strangers.

Good luck in your job search OP! Something will come up soon, okay?

[Anonymous]

I don't just hand families my references at an interview. I let them know I have wobderful references and that they can contact them once they have decided that in the one they would like to hire. It's never been a problem.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I do have plenty of experience but have been a substitute teacher for awhile, so as a sub who works in many different schools where I don't get to know people I don't aquire references. I am a certified teacher. My references are from 2 years ago at a preschool where i worked----2 directors and my teacher assistant. I think part of the problem is the 2 directors at the preschool refuse to say anything more than verify employment, and thats for anyone, they just won't go into detail. And all my other experience from working with children (teaching sunday school, vacation bible school, preschool job in college, college babysitting jobs) was so many years ago that those people wouldn't remember me.

As far as providing references I never give a family references before meeting them in person, but so many families want references at an interview. many won't consider you unless you do. I've tried the "I'll provide references when we both decide its a good fit" and I've had families imply that I must be hiding something by doing that. I provide them access to my background check on care.com, copies of previous evaluations from my preschool job, a copy of teaching certificate (and nobody with a teaching certificate is issued one without an extensive background check). Even after doing all this, if I don't provide my list of references at the interview families just don't give you consideration.

[Anonymous]

OP, I mean this nicely but it doesn't sound like you have a lot of experience as a nanny. 2 years ago from a daycare center and that's it? It's great you're a teacher and all and that may be appropriate for a family that wants that, but you might be applying to jobs that are a bit out of your reach, experience wise.

[Anonymous]

OP, maybe try a part-time nanny job to get experience/references before you apply for full-time nanny jobs? I started as an after-school nanny, while caring for infants in the morning (there were three SAHMs who needed one morning a week care while they ran errands etc), so I kept my skills current with several different age groups and sharpened my nanny skills, which are different from teaching.

[Anonymous]

OP here. No, I don't feel I'm applying for jobs outside of my reach. I recently started working on sundays at a church nursery for a few hours each sunday, however I've only been there a month so I feel it might be too soon to ask for a reference from that job. I may not have experience as a "nanny" but do have childcare experience even if its not recent. Its pretty insulting for someone to put down someone who has worked as a teacher and tell them they are not experienced enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. No, I don't feel I'm applying for jobs outside of my reach. I recently started working on sundays at a church nursery for a few hours each sunday, however I've only been there a month so I feel it might be too soon to ask for a reference from that job. I may not have experience as a "nanny" but do have childcare experience even if its not recent. Its pretty insulting for someone to put down someone who has worked as a teacher and tell them they are not experienced enough.

I have been a teacher and a nanny and, were you actually experienced, you would know that there is a WORLD of difference between the two. You do not have nanny experience. Period. And frankly, you come across as whiny and immature in your posts.

Having child-related experience does not make you a qualified and experienced nanny. There are many more components to the job than just being able to manage children.

Like any other profession, you need to start from the bottom and work up. Find a part-time position or one where the family doesn't mind lack of experience. Expecting to jump in at the top tier just because you are a teacher is ridiculous, and you will keep facing rejection until you look at your situation more realistically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. No, I don't feel I'm applying for jobs outside of my reach. I recently started working on sundays at a church nursery for a few hours each sunday, however I've only been there a month so I feel it might be too soon to ask for a reference from that job. I may not have experience as a "nanny" but do have childcare experience even if its not recent. Its pretty insulting for someone to put down someone who has worked as a teacher and tell them they are not experienced enough.

I'm not putting you down and I'm certainly not saying anything negative about teachers. But if you don't have much experience as a nanny, many families aren't going to be as interested in you. If I was hiring for a 2 year old (just an example) I'd prefer someone who had years of nannying experience in that age group, and not a teacher. They are just different things.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I did not say I was expecting to work at the top tier. Just would like to find a family to nanny for full time, but it is difficult when nobody gives you a chance. I am willing to expect lower pay for not having been a nanny before. I resent you calling me whiny and immature. There is no need for name-calling. Please be respectful.

[Anonymous]

OP, you might be better off with a couple of part time jobs. DS' current nanny (former pre-K teacher) started out working an afternoon job after kids got out of school and mornings for a family with a SAHM. We hired her shortly after the morning job ended and she's a fabulous nanny. Would I have hired her without those 2 jobs (one was a year, the other almost 2). No I probably would not have.

Just a suggestion to maybe look for a couple of part time jobs. The nanny market seems quite competitive, at least based off the numerous applicants who applied to our posting.

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised at all the posters acting like teacher experience is nothing special. I think their are many families who would love the idea of someone with teaching experience to help their toddler or young child learn the essentials and keep them on track.

I do think the references might be an issue though. For a reference to only verify dates of employment gives the impression you weren't good enough to recommend. Are you friends with any of those former coworkers? I would see if any of them are willing to also put in a good word about you beyond verifying employment dates. It might just be that the school doesn't give out any more info for legal reasons, in which case I would try to find a different reference.

For what's it's worth I think three references are more than enough IF they are all able to be reached and will say great things about you.