Pretend play with the nanny being "mom"

[Anonymous]

Almost every week my charges want to engage in pretend play where I'm the "mommy." And I would say about half the time it's when their mom is at home. We engage in pretend play almost daily which I know they love and I do too. But I get really uncomfortable when they want me to pretend I'm their mom. I normally make suggestions like I could be the babysitter, teacher, auntie, mommy to the baby doll etc. Most of the time they are fine with it but a few times, including today, they get adamant that they want me to be the mommy. When this happens I normally suggest that we be some type of animal, like dogs, bears or monkeys. As I never want the mom to overhear her children calling me mommy even when it's pretend play. Am I being overly cautious about this? Moms, would you be upset if you heard your children calling your nanny mommy even during pretend play? If so, can you think of another way for me to handle this better? Nannies, have you ever had this happen and if so, what did you do?

[Anonymous]

MB here. I would not care. Dd loves pretend play and has quite an active imagination, so I'm used to her thinking up all types of different characters for us to play!

[Anonymous]

As their caregiver, I can totally see how awkward this could be for you, but I say if the kids want you to be their pretend Mommy, then go with it.

If their real mother has any issue with it, then I am sure she will let you know.

[Anonymous]

MB here. I really appreciate your sensitivity to this, and if you were my nanny and I knew you were this thoughtful about it I don't think it would bother me.

If my nanny were encouraging this, it would feel different. But my kids are coming into a pretty imaginative/creative age and we are learning that we (parents and nanny) have to make sure we're all on the same side. If we start believing or getting worked up about everything that comes out of their mouths we'll all be in trouble!

You might just mention it to the mom and let her know that you're sensitive to this issue and not encouraging it. Basically just let her know it's the kids driving it, not you, and give her a chance to let you know if it bothers her in any way and if so, how she'd like you to handle it. Or to say "Oh, that's totally fine - don't worry about it at all."

[Anonymous]

I once had a child say to me infront of their mother that I'm like their mom. It really upset my mb. It cut her to the core and that is saying something as she was typically so relaxed about everything. I quickly tried to defuse the situation by saying oh larla that is silly I'm your nanny I just take care of you when mommy is working.

[Anonymous]

MB here. Could care a less if nanny is mommy or not during pretend play. MBs who feel differently are overthinking it.