Why can't I find a nanny?

[Anonymous]

We had a wonderful nanny who had to leave us for family reasons. In the months since then, we've interviewed dozens of candidates and hired a few, only to have them not work out in one way or another. I think we're nice people, our kids are sweet and well-behaved, we are generous with pay and benefits. We just want someone who will engage with our kids, take them on fun outings, help them set up playdates, etc., feed them decently healthy food, and pick up after them. What am I doing wrong? I am really looking for help here. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

What are the hours? Salary? Benefits? PTO? How old are your kids?

[Anonymous]

Something is wrong with your compensation package, hours and/or job requirements.

[Anonymous]

OP here. It's a 45 hour work week (standard M-F), with compensation averaging $20-$21/hour. Two kids, one toddler and one in K.

We don't seem to have a shortage of interested candidates to interview, but we can't seem to find someone willing to expend the mental energy to keep both kids excited and engaged. Maybe we're asking the wrong questions in interviews? Choosing the wrong candidates?

[Anonymous]

Are you paying. OT for the extra 5 hours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you paying. OT for the extra 5 hours?

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Is your child in K saying they aren't having fun? How do you know they aren't being kept active and engaged? Maybe you aren't giving any one nanny enough time to hit her stride. Are you asking nannies not to come back or are they quitting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your child in K saying they aren't having fun? How do you know they aren't being kept active and engaged? Maybe you aren't giving any one nanny enough time to hit her stride. Are you asking nannies not to come back or are they quitting?

Mostly it's from reading the older child, who is very unhappy with her current nanny, and from talking with the caregivers about what they're doing with the kids/seeing in the kids. No one has quit on us, but we've replaced a number.

[Anonymous]

You should be asking the candidates' references very specific questions about their interactions with the children.

[Anonymous]

If you've gone through a FEW nannies in a FEW months I'd suggest giving the next nanny more time to settle in. Three kids is a lot, it can take a while tho get a hang of the routine, plus plan crafts and activities on top of that to please everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your child in K saying they aren't having fun? How do you know they aren't being kept active and engaged? Maybe you aren't giving any one nanny enough time to hit her stride. Are you asking nannies not to come back or are they quitting?

Mostly it's from reading the older child, who is very unhappy with her current nanny, and from talking with the caregivers about what they're doing with the kids/seeing in the kids. No one has quit on us, but we've replaced a number.

So you are firing nanny after nanny because your 5-6 year old child doesn't immediately like them? YOU are the reason you can't find a nanny, and you probably never will. Put your kids in daycare and spare everyone involved (your children, their current nanny, the 10 more people you hire and fire this year) even more drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your child in K saying they aren't having fun? How do you know they aren't being kept active and engaged? Maybe you aren't giving any one nanny enough time to hit her stride. Are you asking nannies not to come back or are they quitting?

Mostly it's from reading the older child, who is very unhappy with her current nanny, and from talking with the caregivers about what they're doing with the kids/seeing in the kids. No one has quit on us, but we've replaced a number.

So you are firing nanny after nanny because your 5-6 year old child doesn't immediately like them? YOU are the reason you can't find a nanny, and you probably never will. Put your kids in daycare and spare everyone involved (your children, their current nanny, the 10 more people you hire and fire this year) even more drama.

+1

You need to give a nanny a chance to adjust especially when it's older children who just lost a caregiver. You should be giving them at least a month trial and half through seeing if they improve. I wouldn't expect a nanny to be on top of everything the first week without given the chance to bond with the child. You are also giving your 5year old to much power. He now knows he can get a nanny replaced so if he ever get punished for poor behavior than the nanny is shit out of luck.

[Anonymous]

I agree that you need to give a new nanny time to adjust,OP.

You can also work with her on creating a schedule that includes the kinds of activities you want her to do until she demonstrates that she is doing the kinds of things you want her to be doing.

You could also install a nanny cam (definitely tell her if you choose this and tell her where they are) so you can check in and see how she interacts with your kids during the day.

These kinds of measures could allow you to manage the early days more closely and help your nanny learn your expectations.

[Anonymous]

Does your older child do after school activities? I have been a nanny for over 10 years working a lot with this type of dynamic in terms of having a toddler and school aged children.

A typical day for me with a toddler and a 6yr old would be:
start work 7:00 clean up from the night before, start laundry, wake up children, prepare breakfast, dress children, pack school lunch
9:00 get child to school, take younger one to the park, library, playgroup, or play at home.
12:00 lunch for younger child then nap until 3 pm
3:40 leave to pick up older child
4:15 arrive home prepare a snack for the children 2 days a week soccer and t ball practice from 5-6pm. Then I bring them home and I'm usually off work. On days with no after school activities we stay at the school and play on the playground weather permitting. Or we invite a neighborhood friend to come over. The older child will sometimes play legos or we read a book. I enjoy reading classic children's books with my charges and then after the book is done we watch the movie. Typically we watch 1 movie per month cuddled up on the couch on a rainy day eating popcorn and drinking homemade smoothies.

Op does your nanny do any of these things? Would you be happy if your nanny had this type of a schedule with your children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had a wonderful nanny who had to leave us for family reasons. In the months since then, we've interviewed dozens of candidates and hired a few, only to have them not work out in one way or another. I think we're nice people, our kids are sweet and well-behaved, we are generous with pay and benefits. We just want someone who will engage with our kids, take them on fun outings, help them set up playdates, etc., feed them decently healthy food, and pick up after them. What am I doing wrong? I am really looking for help here. Thanks!

Can I email you? I would be interested.