How much in total are you paying your au pair each month?

[Anonymous]

Stop responding to the troll folks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whining of all the mothers here….think you can get a do it all AP for the few little coins y’all paid, you’re dreaming.

Having an au pair costs roughly 45,000 if you are doing it correctly. We have always and still pay 250/week, have a dedicated car for which we cover all gas, pay for an unlimited data phone plan, a gym membership and all food. We take our AP to dinner and on vacations with a private room. We give a $1000 bonus after the completion of one year. For one child in ES, this is fair. Are there wealthier families out there paying more? Sure. We tell potential au pairs to pick rich families if that’s what they are looking for. Has never been an issue for us. We have great au pairs and poor au pairs. The program is what it is. If it weren’t for the language immersion we wouldn’t participate.

Au Pair costs are not relevant to the AP. What if she doesn't want a gym membership, for example. I would assume you have that membership for you and just add her and it's not an additional cost so that's not exactly a perk. Vacations if she is working are not a vacation for her, but also work. $250 a week is not much money. That's $50 a day at best for 5 days/9 hours of work. Not even minimum wage.

Room and board are absolutely relevant to AP. Have never had an AP not want a gym membership- of their choice - they always choose the ones their friends go to. It’s an extra 1200 for their insurance. We took our AP to Europe, etc. She certainly did work, but had her weekends off to travel. We could have not taken her - but it’s supposed to be a cultural exchange. I understand you have structural criticisms of the au pair program. But you are not properly accounting for room and board calculations, as well as other incentives. 45k is a lot for MC families. If your saying only UMC families are allowed to participate in cultural exchange programs - that’s pretty nuts.

Again, this is her employment. You are paying for car insurance and a car because you need her to drive your kids. If she's traveling with you and working M-F, that in no way is a vacation for her as she should have weekends or two days off. It's just a location change for her employment. Middle-class families aren't having AP's and cannot afford $45K, an extra car, and that kind of travel. Let's be real. MC families are living pay check to paycheck and at best make under $100K. You are wealthy pretending you are not.

Again, the au pair is a cultural exchange, not employment. Kid's school is in walking distance, so we could just have her walk or take uber or only let her use the car when she is working. Middle Class in DC is $74,000-220,000 per U.S. Census Bureau 2021 data. There are, indeed, many families with au pairs with household incomes between 150,000-220,000. Our au pairs always have weekends off - when we travel for work or on vacation. Europe was a work trip, so au pair worked during the day and had her evenings and weekends off. We treat her as we would treat a niece who was living with us for the year - and I have even added our former au pair as the adoptive parent in our will - that's how seriously we take adding an au pair to our family - it is a relationship that we invest in. For you to insinuate that all families are abusing the program and/or not stretching themselves to give the au pair a positive exchange year - is pretty offensive. There are families that abuse the system just as there are APs who abuse the system. Reform the program.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whining of all the mothers here….think you can get a do it all AP for the few little coins y’all paid, you’re dreaming.

Having an au pair costs roughly 45,000 if you are doing it correctly. We have always and still pay 250/week, have a dedicated car for which we cover all gas, pay for an unlimited data phone plan, a gym membership and all food. We take our AP to dinner and on vacations with a private room. We give a $1000 bonus after the completion of one year. For one child in ES, this is fair. Are there wealthier families out there paying more? Sure. We tell potential au pairs to pick rich families if that’s what they are looking for. Has never been an issue for us. We have great au pairs and poor au pairs. The program is what it is. If it weren’t for the language immersion we wouldn’t participate.

Au Pair costs are not relevant to the AP. What if she doesn't want a gym membership, for example. I would assume you have that membership for you and just add her and it's not an additional cost so that's not exactly a perk. Vacations if she is working are not a vacation for her, but also work. $250 a week is not much money. That's $50 a day at best for 5 days/9 hours of work. Not even minimum wage.

Room and board are absolutely relevant to AP. Have never had an AP not want a gym membership- of their choice - they always choose the ones their friends go to. It’s an extra 1200 for their insurance. We took our AP to Europe, etc. She certainly did work, but had her weekends off to travel. We could have not taken her - but it’s supposed to be a cultural exchange. I understand you have structural criticisms of the au pair program. But you are not properly accounting for room and board calculations, as well as other incentives. 45k is a lot for MC families. If your saying only UMC families are allowed to participate in cultural exchange programs - that’s pretty nuts.

Again, this is her employment. You are paying for car insurance and a car because you need her to drive your kids. If she's traveling with you and working M-F, that in no way is a vacation for her as she should have weekends or two days off. It's just a location change for her employment. Middle-class families aren't having AP's and cannot afford $45K, an extra car, and that kind of travel. Let's be real. MC families are living pay check to paycheck and at best make under $100K. You are wealthy pretending you are not.

Again, the au pair is a cultural exchange, not employment. Kid's school is in walking distance, so we could just have her walk or take uber or only let her use the car when she is working. Middle Class in DC is $74,000-220,000 per U.S. Census Bureau 2021 data. There are, indeed, many families with au pairs with household incomes between 150,000-220,000. Our au pairs always have weekends off - when we travel for work or on vacation. Europe was a work trip, so au pair worked during the day and had her evenings and weekends off. We treat her as we would treat a niece who was living with us for the year - and I have even added our former au pair as the adoptive parent in our will - that's how seriously we take adding an au pair to our family - it is a relationship that we invest in. For you to insinuate that all families are abusing the program and/or not stretching themselves to give the au pair a positive exchange year - is pretty offensive. There are families that abuse the system just as there are APs who abuse the system. Reform the program.

It's to a true cultural exchange. Be real. And, these trips are your vacations. It's a normal work week for her. Middle class aren't taking trips to Europe and having au pairs. She isn't a niece. She is the caretaker of your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whining of all the mothers here….think you can get a do it all AP for the few little coins y’all paid, you’re dreaming.

Having an au pair costs roughly 45,000 if you are doing it correctly. We have always and still pay 250/week, have a dedicated car for which we cover all gas, pay for an unlimited data phone plan, a gym membership and all food. We take our AP to dinner and on vacations with a private room. We give a $1000 bonus after the completion of one year. For one child in ES, this is fair. Are there wealthier families out there paying more? Sure. We tell potential au pairs to pick rich families if that’s what they are looking for. Has never been an issue for us. We have great au pairs and poor au pairs. The program is what it is. If it weren’t for the language immersion we wouldn’t participate.

Au Pair costs are not relevant to the AP. What if she doesn't want a gym membership, for example. I would assume you have that membership for you and just add her and it's not an additional cost so that's not exactly a perk. Vacations if she is working are not a vacation for her, but also work. $250 a week is not much money. That's $50 a day at best for 5 days/9 hours of work. Not even minimum wage.

Room and board are absolutely relevant to AP. Have never had an AP not want a gym membership- of their choice - they always choose the ones their friends go to. It’s an extra 1200 for their insurance. We took our AP to Europe, etc. She certainly did work, but had her weekends off to travel. We could have not taken her - but it’s supposed to be a cultural exchange. I understand you have structural criticisms of the au pair program. But you are not properly accounting for room and board calculations, as well as other incentives. 45k is a lot for MC families. If your saying only UMC families are allowed to participate in cultural exchange programs - that’s pretty nuts.

Again, this is her employment. You are paying for car insurance and a car because you need her to drive your kids. If she's traveling with you and working M-F, that in no way is a vacation for her as she should have weekends or two days off. It's just a location change for her employment. Middle-class families aren't having AP's and cannot afford $45K, an extra car, and that kind of travel. Let's be real. MC families are living pay check to paycheck and at best make under $100K. You are wealthy pretending you are not.

Again, the au pair is a cultural exchange, not employment. Kid's school is in walking distance, so we could just have her walk or take uber or only let her use the car when she is working. Middle Class in DC is $74,000-220,000 per U.S. Census Bureau 2021 data. There are, indeed, many families with au pairs with household incomes between 150,000-220,000. Our au pairs always have weekends off - when we travel for work or on vacation. Europe was a work trip, so au pair worked during the day and had her evenings and weekends off. We treat her as we would treat a niece who was living with us for the year - and I have even added our former au pair as the adoptive parent in our will - that's how seriously we take adding an au pair to our family - it is a relationship that we invest in. For you to insinuate that all families are abusing the program and/or not stretching themselves to give the au pair a positive exchange year - is pretty offensive. There are families that abuse the system just as there are APs who abuse the system. Reform the program.

It's to a true cultural exchange. Be real. And, these trips are your vacations. It's a normal work week for her. Middle class aren't taking trips to Europe and having au pairs. She isn't a niece. She is the caretaker of your children.

??? It’s a cultural exchange program. I attended a work conference in Europe. It was not a vacation for me, actually. MC families do travel and have au pairs. In our cluster there is a cop and a nurse with an AP, a military family, a single mother who is a school principal. All MC. My au pairs parents call DD their granddaughter and we zoom with them ever week. Human relationships might not be important to - money seems to be your compass, and that’s fine. But everyone isn’t like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whining of all the mothers here….think you can get a do it all AP for the few little coins y’all paid, you’re dreaming.

Having an au pair costs roughly 45,000 if you are doing it correctly. We have always and still pay 250/week, have a dedicated car for which we cover all gas, pay for an unlimited data phone plan, a gym membership and all food. We take our AP to dinner and on vacations with a private room. We give a $1000 bonus after the completion of one year. For one child in ES, this is fair. Are there wealthier families out there paying more? Sure. We tell potential au pairs to pick rich families if that’s what they are looking for. Has never been an issue for us. We have great au pairs and poor au pairs. The program is what it is. If it weren’t for the language immersion we wouldn’t participate.

Au Pair costs are not relevant to the AP. What if she doesn't want a gym membership, for example. I would assume you have that membership for you and just add her and it's not an additional cost so that's not exactly a perk. Vacations if she is working are not a vacation for her, but also work. $250 a week is not much money. That's $50 a day at best for 5 days/9 hours of work. Not even minimum wage.

Room and board are absolutely relevant to AP. Have never had an AP not want a gym membership- of their choice - they always choose the ones their friends go to. It’s an extra 1200 for their insurance. We took our AP to Europe, etc. She certainly did work, but had her weekends off to travel. We could have not taken her - but it’s supposed to be a cultural exchange. I understand you have structural criticisms of the au pair program. But you are not properly accounting for room and board calculations, as well as other incentives. 45k is a lot for MC families. If your saying only UMC families are allowed to participate in cultural exchange programs - that’s pretty nuts.

Again, this is her employment. You are paying for car insurance and a car because you need her to drive your kids. If she's traveling with you and working M-F, that in no way is a vacation for her as she should have weekends or two days off. It's just a location change for her employment. Middle-class families aren't having AP's and cannot afford $45K, an extra car, and that kind of travel. Let's be real. MC families are living pay check to paycheck and at best make under $100K. You are wealthy pretending you are not.

Again, the au pair is a cultural exchange, not employment. Kid's school is in walking distance, so we could just have her walk or take uber or only let her use the car when she is working. Middle Class in DC is $74,000-220,000 per U.S. Census Bureau 2021 data. There are, indeed, many families with au pairs with household incomes between 150,000-220,000. Our au pairs always have weekends off - when we travel for work or on vacation. Europe was a work trip, so au pair worked during the day and had her evenings and weekends off. We treat her as we would treat a niece who was living with us for the year - and I have even added our former au pair as the adoptive parent in our will - that's how seriously we take adding an au pair to our family - it is a relationship that we invest in. For you to insinuate that all families are abusing the program and/or not stretching themselves to give the au pair a positive exchange year - is pretty offensive. There are families that abuse the system just as there are APs who abuse the system. Reform the program.

It's to a true cultural exchange. Be real. And, these trips are your vacations. It's a normal work week for her. Middle class aren't taking trips to Europe and having au pairs. She isn't a niece. She is the caretaker of your children.

??? It’s a cultural exchange program. I attended a work conference in Europe. It was not a vacation for me, actually. MC families do travel and have au pairs. In our cluster there is a cop and a nurse with an AP, a military family, a single mother who is a school principal. All MC. My au pairs parents call DD their granddaughter and we zoom with them ever week. Human relationships might not be important to - money seems to be your compass, and that’s fine. But everyone isn’t like you.

No, middle class families, real middle class couldn't afford it. An officer military family with a working spouse is not generally MC. Nor is school principal. You aren't getting middle class. Middle class is to retail clerks, etc.

Stop pretending your work trip where your AP is working is a vacation or a perk. You are doing it for your needs, not theirs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whining of all the mothers here….think you can get a do it all AP for the few little coins y’all paid, you’re dreaming.

Having an au pair costs roughly 45,000 if you are doing it correctly. We have always and still pay 250/week, have a dedicated car for which we cover all gas, pay for an unlimited data phone plan, a gym membership and all food. We take our AP to dinner and on vacations with a private room. We give a $1000 bonus after the completion of one year. For one child in ES, this is fair. Are there wealthier families out there paying more? Sure. We tell potential au pairs to pick rich families if that’s what they are looking for. Has never been an issue for us. We have great au pairs and poor au pairs. The program is what it is. If it weren’t for the language immersion we wouldn’t participate.

Au Pair costs are not relevant to the AP. What if she doesn't want a gym membership, for example. I would assume you have that membership for you and just add her and it's not an additional cost so that's not exactly a perk. Vacations if she is working are not a vacation for her, but also work. $250 a week is not much money. That's $50 a day at best for 5 days/9 hours of work. Not even minimum wage.

Room and board are absolutely relevant to AP. Have never had an AP not want a gym membership- of their choice - they always choose the ones their friends go to. It’s an extra 1200 for their insurance. We took our AP to Europe, etc. She certainly did work, but had her weekends off to travel. We could have not taken her - but it’s supposed to be a cultural exchange. I understand you have structural criticisms of the au pair program. But you are not properly accounting for room and board calculations, as well as other incentives. 45k is a lot for MC families. If your saying only UMC families are allowed to participate in cultural exchange programs - that’s pretty nuts.

Again, this is her employment. You are paying for car insurance and a car because you need her to drive your kids. If she's traveling with you and working M-F, that in no way is a vacation for her as she should have weekends or two days off. It's just a location change for her employment. Middle-class families aren't having AP's and cannot afford $45K, an extra car, and that kind of travel. Let's be real. MC families are living pay check to paycheck and at best make under $100K. You are wealthy pretending you are not.

Again, the au pair is a cultural exchange, not employment. Kid's school is in walking distance, so we could just have her walk or take uber or only let her use the car when she is working. Middle Class in DC is $74,000-220,000 per U.S. Census Bureau 2021 data. There are, indeed, many families with au pairs with household incomes between 150,000-220,000. Our au pairs always have weekends off - when we travel for work or on vacation. Europe was a work trip, so au pair worked during the day and had her evenings and weekends off. We treat her as we would treat a niece who was living with us for the year - and I have even added our former au pair as the adoptive parent in our will - that's how seriously we take adding an au pair to our family - it is a relationship that we invest in. For you to insinuate that all families are abusing the program and/or not stretching themselves to give the au pair a positive exchange year - is pretty offensive. There are families that abuse the system just as there are APs who abuse the system. Reform the program.

It's to a true cultural exchange. Be real. And, these trips are your vacations. It's a normal work week for her. Middle class aren't taking trips to Europe and having au pairs. She isn't a niece. She is the caretaker of your children.

??? It’s a cultural exchange program. I attended a work conference in Europe. It was not a vacation for me, actually. MC families do travel and have au pairs. In our cluster there is a cop and a nurse with an AP, a military family, a single mother who is a school principal. All MC. My au pairs parents call DD their granddaughter and we zoom with them ever week. Human relationships might not be important to - money seems to be your compass, and that’s fine. But everyone isn’t like you.

No, middle class families, real middle class couldn't afford it. An officer military family with a working spouse is not generally MC. Nor is school principal. You aren't getting middle class. Middle class is to retail clerks, etc.

Stop pretending your work trip where your AP is working is a vacation or a perk. You are doing it for your needs, not theirs.

Sweet summer child. No one cares about a weirdo AP having a good time. Maybe if you were actually enjoyable to be around, it would feel more like an exchange? End of the day, it's my house, not yours, you make me happy or I get rid of you.

But this is why we'd never do the program. We are rich and can afford actual household employees who don't annoy me. 99% of people who can afford not to have an unrelated entitled teenager live with them would choose not to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whining of all the mothers here….think you can get a do it all AP for the few little coins y’all paid, you’re dreaming.

Having an au pair costs roughly 45,000 if you are doing it correctly. We have always and still pay 250/week, have a dedicated car for which we cover all gas, pay for an unlimited data phone plan, a gym membership and all food. We take our AP to dinner and on vacations with a private room. We give a $1000 bonus after the completion of one year. For one child in ES, this is fair. Are there wealthier families out there paying more? Sure. We tell potential au pairs to pick rich families if that’s what they are looking for. Has never been an issue for us. We have great au pairs and poor au pairs. The program is what it is. If it weren’t for the language immersion we wouldn’t participate.

Au Pair costs are not relevant to the AP. What if she doesn't want a gym membership, for example. I would assume you have that membership for you and just add her and it's not an additional cost so that's not exactly a perk. Vacations if she is working are not a vacation for her, but also work. $250 a week is not much money. That's $50 a day at best for 5 days/9 hours of work. Not even minimum wage.

Room and board are absolutely relevant to AP. Have never had an AP not want a gym membership- of their choice - they always choose the ones their friends go to. It’s an extra 1200 for their insurance. We took our AP to Europe, etc. She certainly did work, but had her weekends off to travel. We could have not taken her - but it’s supposed to be a cultural exchange. I understand you have structural criticisms of the au pair program. But you are not properly accounting for room and board calculations, as well as other incentives. 45k is a lot for MC families. If your saying only UMC families are allowed to participate in cultural exchange programs - that’s pretty nuts.

Again, this is her employment. You are paying for car insurance and a car because you need her to drive your kids. If she's traveling with you and working M-F, that in no way is a vacation for her as she should have weekends or two days off. It's just a location change for her employment. Middle-class families aren't having AP's and cannot afford $45K, an extra car, and that kind of travel. Let's be real. MC families are living pay check to paycheck and at best make under $100K. You are wealthy pretending you are not.

Again, the au pair is a cultural exchange, not employment. Kid's school is in walking distance, so we could just have her walk or take uber or only let her use the car when she is working. Middle Class in DC is $74,000-220,000 per U.S. Census Bureau 2021 data. There are, indeed, many families with au pairs with household incomes between 150,000-220,000. Our au pairs always have weekends off - when we travel for work or on vacation. Europe was a work trip, so au pair worked during the day and had her evenings and weekends off. We treat her as we would treat a niece who was living with us for the year - and I have even added our former au pair as the adoptive parent in our will - that's how seriously we take adding an au pair to our family - it is a relationship that we invest in. For you to insinuate that all families are abusing the program and/or not stretching themselves to give the au pair a positive exchange year - is pretty offensive. There are families that abuse the system just as there are APs who abuse the system. Reform the program.

It's to a true cultural exchange. Be real. And, these trips are your vacations. It's a normal work week for her. Middle class aren't taking trips to Europe and having au pairs. She isn't a niece. She is the caretaker of your children.

??? It’s a cultural exchange program. I attended a work conference in Europe. It was not a vacation for me, actually. MC families do travel and have au pairs. In our cluster there is a cop and a nurse with an AP, a military family, a single mother who is a school principal. All MC. My au pairs parents call DD their granddaughter and we zoom with them ever week. Human relationships might not be important to - money seems to be your compass, and that’s fine. But everyone isn’t like you.

No, middle class families, real middle class couldn't afford it. An officer military family with a working spouse is not generally MC. Nor is school principal. You aren't getting middle class. Middle class is to retail clerks, etc.

Stop pretending your work trip where your AP is working is a vacation or a perk. You are doing it for your needs, not theirs.

Perhaps there is not a middle class in the country you come from. If so, I am sorry for any childhood experiences that you had that have caused pain and trauma - it seems to be something that you are struggling with. I grew up with a single mother and we qualified for food stamps. My mother worked in a store - aka what you seem to be calling a retail clerk. In America, we have many people who are considered working poor, working class (meaning jobs that do not require a college degree), and middle class (teachers, principals police officers, military enlisted). The definition of "middle class" income is indexed by locality. In DC, middle class is considered $74,000-220,000 per household. Thus, you have a wide swath of professions that are considered MC here, including government employees, lawyers who do not work in big law firms, veterinarians, etc. I understand if you are coming from Brazil this feels very foreign to you. I gave AP the option of staying in DC and having vacation time or coming to Europe and working during the day. Providing a separate room for an au pair (a program requirement) is about $300 per day in Europe - that's slightly more than using a local babysitter service - which I have done if no au pair. The au pair decided she wanted to go to Europe. Usually when someone accuses someone else of pretending it is because they are working through their own deceptive tendencies. Maybe you lied to your host family about liking kids or not smoking. Maybe you lied to your boyfriend in order to get a green card. You are young and you make mistakes. Try to be a little kinder to yourself - and to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whining of all the mothers here….think you can get a do it all AP for the few little coins y’all paid, you’re dreaming.

Having an au pair costs roughly 45,000 if you are doing it correctly. We have always and still pay 250/week, have a dedicated car for which we cover all gas, pay for an unlimited data phone plan, a gym membership and all food. We take our AP to dinner and on vacations with a private room. We give a $1000 bonus after the completion of one year. For one child in ES, this is fair. Are there wealthier families out there paying more? Sure. We tell potential au pairs to pick rich families if that’s what they are looking for. Has never been an issue for us. We have great au pairs and poor au pairs. The program is what it is. If it weren’t for the language immersion we wouldn’t participate.

Au Pair costs are not relevant to the AP. What if she doesn't want a gym membership, for example. I would assume you have that membership for you and just add her and it's not an additional cost so that's not exactly a perk. Vacations if she is working are not a vacation for her, but also work. $250 a week is not much money. That's $50 a day at best for 5 days/9 hours of work. Not even minimum wage.

Room and board are absolutely relevant to AP. Have never had an AP not want a gym membership- of their choice - they always choose the ones their friends go to. It’s an extra 1200 for their insurance. We took our AP to Europe, etc. She certainly did work, but had her weekends off to travel. We could have not taken her - but it’s supposed to be a cultural exchange. I understand you have structural criticisms of the au pair program. But you are not properly accounting for room and board calculations, as well as other incentives. 45k is a lot for MC families. If your saying only UMC families are allowed to participate in cultural exchange programs - that’s pretty nuts.

Again, this is her employment. You are paying for car insurance and a car because you need her to drive your kids. If she's traveling with you and working M-F, that in no way is a vacation for her as she should have weekends or two days off. It's just a location change for her employment. Middle-class families aren't having AP's and cannot afford $45K, an extra car, and that kind of travel. Let's be real. MC families are living pay check to paycheck and at best make under $100K. You are wealthy pretending you are not.

Again, the au pair is a cultural exchange, not employment. Kid's school is in walking distance, so we could just have her walk or take uber or only let her use the car when she is working. Middle Class in DC is $74,000-220,000 per U.S. Census Bureau 2021 data. There are, indeed, many families with au pairs with household incomes between 150,000-220,000. Our au pairs always have weekends off - when we travel for work or on vacation. Europe was a work trip, so au pair worked during the day and had her evenings and weekends off. We treat her as we would treat a niece who was living with us for the year - and I have even added our former au pair as the adoptive parent in our will - that's how seriously we take adding an au pair to our family - it is a relationship that we invest in. For you to insinuate that all families are abusing the program and/or not stretching themselves to give the au pair a positive exchange year - is pretty offensive. There are families that abuse the system just as there are APs who abuse the system. Reform the program.

It's to a true cultural exchange. Be real. And, these trips are your vacations. It's a normal work week for her. Middle class aren't taking trips to Europe and having au pairs. She isn't a niece. She is the caretaker of your children.

??? It’s a cultural exchange program. I attended a work conference in Europe. It was not a vacation for me, actually. MC families do travel and have au pairs. In our cluster there is a cop and a nurse with an AP, a military family, a single mother who is a school principal. All MC. My au pairs parents call DD their granddaughter and we zoom with them ever week. Human relationships might not be important to - money seems to be your compass, and that’s fine. But everyone isn’t like you.

No, middle class families, real middle class couldn't afford it. An officer military family with a working spouse is not generally MC. Nor is school principal. You aren't getting middle class. Middle class is to retail clerks, etc.

Stop pretending your work trip where your AP is working is a vacation or a perk. You are doing it for your needs, not theirs.

Perhaps there is not a middle class in the country you come from. If so, I am sorry for any childhood experiences that you had that have caused pain and trauma - it seems to be something that you are struggling with. I grew up with a single mother and we qualified for food stamps. My mother worked in a store - aka what you seem to be calling a retail clerk. In America, we have many people who are considered working poor, working class (meaning jobs that do not require a college degree), and middle class (teachers, principals police officers, military enlisted). The definition of "middle class" income is indexed by locality. In DC, middle class is considered $74,000-220,000 per household. Thus, you have a wide swath of professions that are considered MC here, including government employees, lawyers who do not work in big law firms, veterinarians, etc. I understand if you are coming from Brazil this feels very foreign to you. I gave AP the option of staying in DC and having vacation time or coming to Europe and working during the day. Providing a separate room for an au pair (a program requirement) is about $300 per day in Europe - that's slightly more than using a local babysitter service - which I have done if no au pair. The au pair decided she wanted to go to Europe. Usually when someone accuses someone else of pretending it is because they are working through their own deceptive tendencies. Maybe you lied to your host family about liking kids or not smoking. Maybe you lied to your boyfriend in order to get a green card. You are young and you make mistakes. Try to be a little kinder to yourself - and to others.

The trolls on this board from the nanny union are spiteful and have apparently been burned by rich white women who lie and take the private jet over to London for lunch or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whining of all the mothers here….think you can get a do it all AP for the few little coins y’all paid, you’re dreaming.

Having an au pair costs roughly 45,000 if you are doing it correctly. We have always and still pay 250/week, have a dedicated car for which we cover all gas, pay for an unlimited data phone plan, a gym membership and all food. We take our AP to dinner and on vacations with a private room. We give a $1000 bonus after the completion of one year. For one child in ES, this is fair. Are there wealthier families out there paying more? Sure. We tell potential au pairs to pick rich families if that’s what they are looking for. Has never been an issue for us. We have great au pairs and poor au pairs. The program is what it is. If it weren’t for the language immersion we wouldn’t participate.

Au Pair costs are not relevant to the AP. What if she doesn't want a gym membership, for example. I would assume you have that membership for you and just add her and it's not an additional cost so that's not exactly a perk. Vacations if she is working are not a vacation for her, but also work. $250 a week is not much money. That's $50 a day at best for 5 days/9 hours of work. Not even minimum wage.

Room and board are absolutely relevant to AP. Have never had an AP not want a gym membership- of their choice - they always choose the ones their friends go to. It’s an extra 1200 for their insurance. We took our AP to Europe, etc. She certainly did work, but had her weekends off to travel. We could have not taken her - but it’s supposed to be a cultural exchange. I understand you have structural criticisms of the au pair program. But you are not properly accounting for room and board calculations, as well as other incentives. 45k is a lot for MC families. If your saying only UMC families are allowed to participate in cultural exchange programs - that’s pretty nuts.

Again, this is her employment. You are paying for car insurance and a car because you need her to drive your kids. If she's traveling with you and working M-F, that in no way is a vacation for her as she should have weekends or two days off. It's just a location change for her employment. Middle-class families aren't having AP's and cannot afford $45K, an extra car, and that kind of travel. Let's be real. MC families are living pay check to paycheck and at best make under $100K. You are wealthy pretending you are not.

Again, the au pair is a cultural exchange, not employment. Kid's school is in walking distance, so we could just have her walk or take uber or only let her use the car when she is working. Middle Class in DC is $74,000-220,000 per U.S. Census Bureau 2021 data. There are, indeed, many families with au pairs with household incomes between 150,000-220,000. Our au pairs always have weekends off - when we travel for work or on vacation. Europe was a work trip, so au pair worked during the day and had her evenings and weekends off. We treat her as we would treat a niece who was living with us for the year - and I have even added our former au pair as the adoptive parent in our will - that's how seriously we take adding an au pair to our family - it is a relationship that we invest in. For you to insinuate that all families are abusing the program and/or not stretching themselves to give the au pair a positive exchange year - is pretty offensive. There are families that abuse the system just as there are APs who abuse the system. Reform the program.

It's to a true cultural exchange. Be real. And, these trips are your vacations. It's a normal work week for her. Middle class aren't taking trips to Europe and having au pairs. She isn't a niece. She is the caretaker of your children.

??? It’s a cultural exchange program. I attended a work conference in Europe. It was not a vacation for me, actually. MC families do travel and have au pairs. In our cluster there is a cop and a nurse with an AP, a military family, a single mother who is a school principal. All MC. My au pairs parents call DD their granddaughter and we zoom with them ever week. Human relationships might not be important to - money seems to be your compass, and that’s fine. But everyone isn’t like you.

No, middle class families, real middle class couldn't afford it. An officer military family with a working spouse is not generally MC. Nor is school principal. You aren't getting middle class. Middle class is to retail clerks, etc.

Stop pretending your work trip where your AP is working is a vacation or a perk. You are doing it for your needs, not theirs.

Sweet summer child. No one cares about a weirdo AP having a good time. Maybe if you were actually enjoyable to be around, it would feel more like an exchange? End of the day, it's my house, not yours, you make me happy or I get rid of you.

But this is why we'd never do the program. We are rich and can afford actual household employees who don't annoy me. 99% of people who can afford not to have an unrelated entitled teenager live with them would choose not to.

That’s rich you brag you are rich and will not pay minimum wage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whining of all the mothers here….think you can get a do it all AP for the few little coins y’all paid, you’re dreaming.

Having an au pair costs roughly 45,000 if you are doing it correctly. We have always and still pay 250/week, have a dedicated car for which we cover all gas, pay for an unlimited data phone plan, a gym membership and all food. We take our AP to dinner and on vacations with a private room. We give a $1000 bonus after the completion of one year. For one child in ES, this is fair. Are there wealthier families out there paying more? Sure. We tell potential au pairs to pick rich families if that’s what they are looking for. Has never been an issue for us. We have great au pairs and poor au pairs. The program is what it is. If it weren’t for the language immersion we wouldn’t participate.

Au Pair costs are not relevant to the AP. What if she doesn't want a gym membership, for example. I would assume you have that membership for you and just add her and it's not an additional cost so that's not exactly a perk. Vacations if she is working are not a vacation for her, but also work. $250 a week is not much money. That's $50 a day at best for 5 days/9 hours of work. Not even minimum wage.

Room and board are absolutely relevant to AP. Have never had an AP not want a gym membership- of their choice - they always choose the ones their friends go to. It’s an extra 1200 for their insurance. We took our AP to Europe, etc. She certainly did work, but had her weekends off to travel. We could have not taken her - but it’s supposed to be a cultural exchange. I understand you have structural criticisms of the au pair program. But you are not properly accounting for room and board calculations, as well as other incentives. 45k is a lot for MC families. If your saying only UMC families are allowed to participate in cultural exchange programs - that’s pretty nuts.

Again, this is her employment. You are paying for car insurance and a car because you need her to drive your kids. If she's traveling with you and working M-F, that in no way is a vacation for her as she should have weekends or two days off. It's just a location change for her employment. Middle-class families aren't having AP's and cannot afford $45K, an extra car, and that kind of travel. Let's be real. MC families are living pay check to paycheck and at best make under $100K. You are wealthy pretending you are not.

Again, the au pair is a cultural exchange, not employment. Kid's school is in walking distance, so we could just have her walk or take uber or only let her use the car when she is working. Middle Class in DC is $74,000-220,000 per U.S. Census Bureau 2021 data. There are, indeed, many families with au pairs with household incomes between 150,000-220,000. Our au pairs always have weekends off - when we travel for work or on vacation. Europe was a work trip, so au pair worked during the day and had her evenings and weekends off. We treat her as we would treat a niece who was living with us for the year - and I have even added our former au pair as the adoptive parent in our will - that's how seriously we take adding an au pair to our family - it is a relationship that we invest in. For you to insinuate that all families are abusing the program and/or not stretching themselves to give the au pair a positive exchange year - is pretty offensive. There are families that abuse the system just as there are APs who abuse the system. Reform the program.

It's to a true cultural exchange. Be real. And, these trips are your vacations. It's a normal work week for her. Middle class aren't taking trips to Europe and having au pairs. She isn't a niece. She is the caretaker of your children.

??? It’s a cultural exchange program. I attended a work conference in Europe. It was not a vacation for me, actually. MC families do travel and have au pairs. In our cluster there is a cop and a nurse with an AP, a military family, a single mother who is a school principal. All MC. My au pairs parents call DD their granddaughter and we zoom with them ever week. Human relationships might not be important to - money seems to be your compass, and that’s fine. But everyone isn’t like you.

No, middle class families, real middle class couldn't afford it. An officer military family with a working spouse is not generally MC. Nor is school principal. You aren't getting middle class. Middle class is to retail clerks, etc.

Stop pretending your work trip where your AP is working is a vacation or a perk. You are doing it for your needs, not theirs.

Perhaps there is not a middle class in the country you come from. If so, I am sorry for any childhood experiences that you had that have caused pain and trauma - it seems to be something that you are struggling with. I grew up with a single mother and we qualified for food stamps. My mother worked in a store - aka what you seem to be calling a retail clerk. In America, we have many people who are considered working poor, working class (meaning jobs that do not require a college degree), and middle class (teachers, principals police officers, military enlisted). The definition of "middle class" income is indexed by locality. In DC, middle class is considered $74,000-220,000 per household. Thus, you have a wide swath of professions that are considered MC here, including government employees, lawyers who do not work in big law firms, veterinarians, etc. I understand if you are coming from Brazil this feels very foreign to you. I gave AP the option of staying in DC and having vacation time or coming to Europe and working during the day. Providing a separate room for an au pair (a program requirement) is about $300 per day in Europe - that's slightly more than using a local babysitter service - which I have done if no au pair. The au pair decided she wanted to go to Europe. Usually when someone accuses someone else of pretending it is because they are working through their own deceptive tendencies. Maybe you lied to your host family about liking kids or not smoking. Maybe you lied to your boyfriend in order to get a green card. You are young and you make mistakes. Try to be a little kinder to yourself - and to others.

You are paying for the room because you choose to being the AP who is working. This is not a vacation. Middle class don’t make sux figure incomes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whining of all the mothers here….think you can get a do it all AP for the few little coins y’all paid, you’re dreaming.

Having an au pair costs roughly 45,000 if you are doing it correctly. We have always and still pay 250/week, have a dedicated car for which we cover all gas, pay for an unlimited data phone plan, a gym membership and all food. We take our AP to dinner and on vacations with a private room. We give a $1000 bonus after the completion of one year. For one child in ES, this is fair. Are there wealthier families out there paying more? Sure. We tell potential au pairs to pick rich families if that’s what they are looking for. Has never been an issue for us. We have great au pairs and poor au pairs. The program is what it is. If it weren’t for the language immersion we wouldn’t participate.

Au Pair costs are not relevant to the AP. What if she doesn't want a gym membership, for example. I would assume you have that membership for you and just add her and it's not an additional cost so that's not exactly a perk. Vacations if she is working are not a vacation for her, but also work. $250 a week is not much money. That's $50 a day at best for 5 days/9 hours of work. Not even minimum wage.

Room and board are absolutely relevant to AP. Have never had an AP not want a gym membership- of their choice - they always choose the ones their friends go to. It’s an extra 1200 for their insurance. We took our AP to Europe, etc. She certainly did work, but had her weekends off to travel. We could have not taken her - but it’s supposed to be a cultural exchange. I understand you have structural criticisms of the au pair program. But you are not properly accounting for room and board calculations, as well as other incentives. 45k is a lot for MC families. If your saying only UMC families are allowed to participate in cultural exchange programs - that’s pretty nuts.

Again, this is her employment. You are paying for car insurance and a car because you need her to drive your kids. If she's traveling with you and working M-F, that in no way is a vacation for her as she should have weekends or two days off. It's just a location change for her employment. Middle-class families aren't having AP's and cannot afford $45K, an extra car, and that kind of travel. Let's be real. MC families are living pay check to paycheck and at best make under $100K. You are wealthy pretending you are not.

Again, the au pair is a cultural exchange, not employment. Kid's school is in walking distance, so we could just have her walk or take uber or only let her use the car when she is working. Middle Class in DC is $74,000-220,000 per U.S. Census Bureau 2021 data. There are, indeed, many families with au pairs with household incomes between 150,000-220,000. Our au pairs always have weekends off - when we travel for work or on vacation. Europe was a work trip, so au pair worked during the day and had her evenings and weekends off. We treat her as we would treat a niece who was living with us for the year - and I have even added our former au pair as the adoptive parent in our will - that's how seriously we take adding an au pair to our family - it is a relationship that we invest in. For you to insinuate that all families are abusing the program and/or not stretching themselves to give the au pair a positive exchange year - is pretty offensive. There are families that abuse the system just as there are APs who abuse the system. Reform the program.

It's to a true cultural exchange. Be real. And, these trips are your vacations. It's a normal work week for her. Middle class aren't taking trips to Europe and having au pairs. She isn't a niece. She is the caretaker of your children.

??? It’s a cultural exchange program. I attended a work conference in Europe. It was not a vacation for me, actually. MC families do travel and have au pairs. In our cluster there is a cop and a nurse with an AP, a military family, a single mother who is a school principal. All MC. My au pairs parents call DD their granddaughter and we zoom with them ever week. Human relationships might not be important to - money seems to be your compass, and that’s fine. But everyone isn’t like you.

No, middle class families, real middle class couldn't afford it. An officer military family with a working spouse is not generally MC. Nor is school principal. You aren't getting middle class. Middle class is to retail clerks, etc.

Stop pretending your work trip where your AP is working is a vacation or a perk. You are doing it for your needs, not theirs.

Perhaps there is not a middle class in the country you come from. If so, I am sorry for any childhood experiences that you had that have caused pain and trauma - it seems to be something that you are struggling with. I grew up with a single mother and we qualified for food stamps. My mother worked in a store - aka what you seem to be calling a retail clerk. In America, we have many people who are considered working poor, working class (meaning jobs that do not require a college degree), and middle class (teachers, principals police officers, military enlisted). The definition of "middle class" income is indexed by locality. In DC, middle class is considered $74,000-220,000 per household. Thus, you have a wide swath of professions that are considered MC here, including government employees, lawyers who do not work in big law firms, veterinarians, etc. I understand if you are coming from Brazil this feels very foreign to you. I gave AP the option of staying in DC and having vacation time or coming to Europe and working during the day. Providing a separate room for an au pair (a program requirement) is about $300 per day in Europe - that's slightly more than using a local babysitter service - which I have done if no au pair. The au pair decided she wanted to go to Europe. Usually when someone accuses someone else of pretending it is because they are working through their own deceptive tendencies. Maybe you lied to your host family about liking kids or not smoking. Maybe you lied to your boyfriend in order to get a green card. You are young and you make mistakes. Try to be a little kinder to yourself - and to others.

You are paying for the room because you choose to being the AP who is working. This is not a vacation. Middle class don’t make sux figure incomes.

What is a sux figure? https://www.dcnewsnow.com/news/you-need-to-make-this-much-to-be-considered-middle-class-in-these-cities/ Middle class in goes up to 220,000.

[Anonymous]

Haha, a NP here. Dear all, in DC, for elementary school age child, with budget of $45k you can get a private part-time nanny of ANY cultural background, ethnicity, etc., for language immersion. And no Au pair related headache. So many immigrants here taking nanny jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Haha, a NP here. Dear all, in DC, for elementary school age child, with budget of $45k you can get a private part-time nanny of ANY cultural background, ethnicity, etc., for language immersion. And no Au pair related headache. So many immigrants here taking nanny jobs.

Nope. Near impossible. Try find a driving nanny with citizenship who will provide childcare around school and kid activities -even for Spanish, let alone our minority heritage language.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haha, a NP here. Dear all, in DC, for elementary school age child, with budget of $45k you can get a private part-time nanny of ANY cultural background, ethnicity, etc., for language immersion. And no Au pair related headache. So many immigrants here taking nanny jobs.

Nope. Near impossible. Try find a driving nanny with citizenship who will provide childcare around school and kid activities -even for Spanish, let alone our minority heritage language.

For 20 hours a week for $45K, you can find someone. However, not for 45 hours a week, split schedule, on call when kids are sick or school holidays/summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haha, a NP here. Dear all, in DC, for elementary school age child, with budget of $45k you can get a private part-time nanny of ANY cultural background, ethnicity, etc., for language immersion. And no Au pair related headache. So many immigrants here taking nanny jobs.

Nope. Near impossible. Try find a driving nanny with citizenship who will provide childcare around school and kid activities -even for Spanish, let alone our minority heritage language.

For 20 hours a week for $45K, you can find someone. However, not for 45 hours a week, split schedule, on call when kids are sick or school holidays/summer.

for that price, the nanny is making $43.26/hour. I am in a wrong business for sure.

Don't know where you live, at least by me (NY suburban area) $45k for a full time nanny (40 hours/week on a fixed schedule) just taking care of the kids is very possible. Yes there will not be on call service but you also don't have constant drama and someone always in your house.