nanny of 1 year basically ghosting us

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. No further communication from [former] Nanny.

As commented earlier, bouncing a check issued in payment for services ALREADY performed != canceling/retracting a payment for services NOT actually performed. And apparently banks have specific procedures for the latter.

I am on several neighborhood listservs. While flaming [former] Nanny on them might yield a grain of emotional satisfaction, I do not plan to do so, in part because such a post could apparently be considered defamation. A friend who worked in HR for decades says it's not uncommon for former employees to sue based on negative job references. Apparently this is really A Thing and many organizations give a reference that consists only of "Person X worked for Organization from Date 1 to Date 2" to minimize liability. As a parent and nanny employer, I would certainly want to know if a nanny I was considering hiring had ever disappeared on a previous family; however, it seems that a public warning could have legal consequences.

An angry post would also not solve the problem of how to explain the sudden disappearance of a previously beloved caretaker to my toddler. DS can't pronounce [former] Nanny's name, but he's clearly looking for her every time someone knocks on our door, and I'm not sure how to communicate the finality of her disappearance to him.

Smart of you not to post on the list serve. It sucks, but it will only look bad and could potentially make it hard for you to find another nanny. Good nannies don't want drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. I'm confused why you paid her in advance?
I get paid on the last day of my work week, or sometimes that same day. So I'm just curious

I think OP did it because the other family in the nanny share was leaving.

If you're paying someone by direct deposit and their account is at another bank, you need to initiate the transfer ~3 days pre-them receiving it. So, if you pay your nanny in "real time" (i.e., so they get paid for Week X on Friday of Week X), you might need to initiate the transfer by Tuesday, depending on your bank.

Yes, this is why we pay a week behind. This is pretty normal in the working world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. No further communication from [former] Nanny.

As commented earlier, bouncing a check issued in payment for services ALREADY performed != canceling/retracting a payment for services NOT actually performed. And apparently banks have specific procedures for the latter.

I am on several neighborhood listservs. While flaming [former] Nanny on them might yield a grain of emotional satisfaction, I do not plan to do so, in part because such a post could apparently be considered defamation. A friend who worked in HR for decades says it's not uncommon for former employees to sue based on negative job references. Apparently this is really A Thing and many organizations give a reference that consists only of "Person X worked for Organization from Date 1 to Date 2" to minimize liability. As a parent and nanny employer, I would certainly want to know if a nanny I was considering hiring had ever disappeared on a previous family; however, it seems that a public warning could have legal consequences.

An angry post would also not solve the problem of how to explain the sudden disappearance of a previously beloved caretaker to my toddler. DS can't pronounce [former] Nanny's name, but he's clearly looking for her every time someone knocks on our door, and I'm not sure how to communicate the finality of her disappearance to him.

Smart of you not to post on the list serve. It sucks, but it will only look bad and could potentially make it hard for you to find another nanny. Good nannies don't want drama.

This is just silly. Very few nannies are on MOTH. Any new nanny you get through MOTH is going to ask who your old nanny was and probably contact them anyway. Just FYI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the one who said to post on a listserv. I specifically said not to give the specifics. Just post asking if anyone hired Nanny X. You're not going to get sued over factually explaining what happened to her new employer. More importantly, it would confirm for you that she really was ghosting you/had taken a new position/etc.

Not certain of where you live. However, in the DMV area, you can definitely be sued for providing such "factual" information.

[Anonymous]

I got ghosted by a nanny family that I did genuinely end on good terms with and I’m not sure how to prevent this from happening in the future again. They couldn’t afford to pay me anymore… I messaged a couple times and they never replied. Curious.

Thank you!
Hannah

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP are you on the Hill? If so, I would 100% post the name on MOTH to (a) see if another family hired her/to provide a warning of the sort of person she is (I would definitely want to know if I were her new family) and (b) she will probably come up w/ some BS excuse for not contacting you earlier and/or pay you the money back. You don't have to provide details in the MOTH post, just ask if anyone has hired Nanny X, Y, Z and, if so, to be in touch.

I second/third this. I would want to know as well. . Don't provide the full name, you can give the initials or the first name and last name initial, plus a sentence or two describing the person and what happened. I would probably say something like this

'Anyone hired a new nanny this week with initials ___? She's about 5'5" with brown hair. Just wanted to give a warning that this was our nanny the last year and she ghosted us recently despite being paid in advance. Feel free to reach out to me privately if you would like additional details.'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seeking opinions from other nanny employers about possible actions in the following situation:
- Nanny share of 1 year is dissolving - one family is moving away; we are staying
- Nanny contract period is scheduled to end 1 week after the other family moves
- After two months of searching, interviews, meetups, etc., we have not found a full-time share family both (a) located within 1-2mi of us and (b) with another walker. (Summer is apparently a very difficult time to organize nanny shares?! We haven't had this problem for the past two summers, but this seasonal difficulty has been mentioned by multiple DC-based friends who also do shares.)
- We discussed possible options with Nanny, and agreed to draft a new contract that (1) guaranteed Nanny her same hours and salary, and (2) allowed up to two part-time families to temporarily join us until a full-time share family was found. (Nanny was ok with [and actually suggested] the latter provision.)
- On the Sunday night immediately preceding the last week in the contract period - aka the day before we planned to review and sign the new contract - Nanny emailed us a formally worded letter stating that she would not be renewing her contract...no context, no additional information provided.
- Early morning, first working day of the last week in the contract period, Nanny texted us saying she would not be in for two days due to a medical emergency with her young child
- Nanny has no PTO remaining in contract period. Contract provides for unpaid leave if both families agree (which we certainly would in the case of a child's medical emergency!). However, the moving family has already paid her through the contract period and moved, and it is too late for our bank to stop this week's salary payment.
- Nanny has not responded to any of our messages or calls ...which could be totally reasonable in a medical emergency! ...but is worrisome as we try to plan and obtain backup care.

Is our nanny of one year really ghosting us? If she doesn't show up for work at all this week, how can we recoup her salary for this week? We will need this to pay for the elevated rates it often takes to obtain last-minute, temporary caregivers! How have others responded in any similar situations?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Paid $12/hr per family for share, plus $75/mo per family for health care stipend.

Seems like we basically have no options except small claims court, which we don't want to do for emotional reasons.

PP: How do we owe her? She's taking leave with no notice, after having used all the leave days in her contract.

You're cheap and no wonder she quit! You are going to sue her for one week's salary,! You're lucky she stayed for the year. She her because this will prove to her that she was right to quit.

Alternatively, she may really have a medical emergency with her child.

[Anonymous]

$24/hr for a share? No wonder she is ghosting you.

[Anonymous]

Umm this post is from 2017. Maybe the share rate was the norm then for wherever OP lives. She’s not necessarily in DC.