How to be the best or great employers?

[Anonymous]

And the never ending fight over NF/nanny relationship rages on... can't we just all accept that different people are different and that some want the nanny to be part of the family and become friends and others stay completely professional? It all depends on the particular nanny and the particular family. I'm best friends with one of my former MBs, but I have also worked for families where we shared nothing with each other outside of the children. It all works, it doesn't need to be a conflict, honestly.

OP, say thank you, be on time, treat her as you would like to be treated. Seems like you're off to a good start already!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I'll tell you one thing and probably get flamed, as much as I see nannies on here say to be 100% business professional and "they are employers not friends" but as a nanny the thing I love most about being a nanny and working with my favorite families is that they feel like friends. They ask me about my day, my life, things I'm up to. They tell me about their plans, cute stories about the kids I might have missed from the weekends, and are just generally pleasant and caring.

This, 100%. The family I was with the longest (5+ years) treated me like family. They cared about me, as a person and not just as someone who was there to take care of their kids. They were concerned when I was sick, instead of annoyed I had to take a day off. They sent me flowers when I had surgery.They valued my opinion. We were a team. The mom and I actually became close friends and have continued our friendship even though I no longer work for them. They weren't able to offer the best benefits or vacation time, but they made up for it by the way they treated me.

Exactly. I cringe every time I see one of those posts where people are up in arms because MB asked some innocent friendly question and all the responses are "ITS NONE OF HER BUSINESS" or "NEVER SHARE ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR PRIVATE LIFE"

The flipside is the nannies who overshare way to much and MB and DB not only know she has a new boyfriend, but also the new bedroom tricks she's learned from him.

I would like my nanny to share LESS about her personal life. I don't tell my boss about my personal life beyond obvious pleasantries - my boss never knows when DH and I have had an argument and never knows when I'm in a bad mood. I don't like feeling, at times, that my otherwise good nanny is another child. I do wish she would pick up on the fact that I rarely ask her things about her personal life because I actually don't want to know. I'm a good employer and respect my children's nanny and compensate her well but when I see her in the mornings and evenings, I want to hear ONLY about my children.

+ 1 My time for hand-off is limited. It is not that I don't care about my son's nanny's personal life, but I don't want to take time away from hearing or telling his nanny about his day/weekend. I feel very rude cutting her off when she starts in on what she did that weekend or last night but I want to tell her what my son did as it is information I feel she needs to know before I leave. And honestly, when I come home, I ONLY want to hear about my son.

+ 1,000,000! Another MB here and I wish more nannies understood this.

Many nannies and parents think of their relationship more of one between coworkers than boss/subordinate. It's amazing how successful these relationships can be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll tell you one thing and probably get flamed, as much as I see nannies on here say to be 100% business professional and "they are employers not friends" but as a nanny the thing I love most about being a nanny and working with my favorite families is that they feel like friends. They ask me about my day, my life, things I'm up to. They tell me about their plans, cute stories about the kids I might have missed from the weekends, and are just generally pleasant and caring.

This, 100%. The family I was with the longest (5+ years) treated me like family. They cared about me, as a person and not just as someone who was there to take care of their kids. They were concerned when I was sick, instead of annoyed I had to take a day off. They sent me flowers when I had surgery.They valued my opinion. We were a team. The mom and I actually became close friends and have continued our friendship even though I no longer work for them. They weren't able to offer the best benefits or vacation time, but they made up for it by the way they treated me.

Exactly. I cringe every time I see one of those posts where people are up in arms because MB asked some innocent friendly question and all the responses are "ITS NONE OF HER BUSINESS" or "NEVER SHARE ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR PRIVATE LIFE"

The flipside is the nannies who overshare way to much and MB and DB not only know she has a new boyfriend, but also the new bedroom tricks she's learned from him.

I would like my nanny to share LESS about her personal life. I don't tell my boss about my personal life beyond obvious pleasantries - my boss never knows when DH and I have had an argument and never knows when I'm in a bad mood. I don't like feeling, at times, that my otherwise good nanny is another child. I do wish she would pick up on the fact that I rarely ask her things about her personal life because I actually don't want to know. I'm a good employer and respect my children's nanny and compensate her well but when I see her in the mornings and evenings, I want to hear ONLY about my children.

+ 1 My time for hand-off is limited. It is not that I don't care about my son's nanny's personal life, but I don't want to take time away from hearing or telling his nanny about his day/weekend. I feel very rude cutting her off when she starts in on what she did that weekend or last night but I want to tell her what my son did as it is information I feel she needs to know before I leave. And honestly, when I come home, I ONLY want to hear about my son.

+ 1,000,000! Another MB here and I wish more nannies understood this.

Many nannies and parents think of their relationship more of one between coworkers than boss/subordinate. It's amazing how successful these relationships can be.

Why is it amazing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just hired a nanny for our 12 week old. She is very lovely and we want to make her as happy as we can. We are doing the basics by paying her well and giving benefits such as health insurance, sick/personal days, paid holidays, paid vacation, guaranteed hours, and OT. She has open access to all foods in the pantry/fridge, and is allowed to watch tv while the baby naps. We try to make it home on time and predict we may let her leave early on occasions. Is there anything else we can to to ensure her happiness and comfort.

I'm a nanny and I don't like being told I can leave early. I feel like I am being dismissed by my master. Plus it is hard on the child (obviously not in your case as you have a newborn) not to have a set routine and a consistent way to transition.

Treat your nanny like the professional she is (or you hope she is). If she is experienced in infant care remember that this is your "first time at the rodeo" but not hers. Ask her advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just hired a nanny for our 12 week old. She is very lovely and we want to make her as happy as we can. We are doing the basics by paying her well and giving benefits such as health insurance, sick/personal days, paid holidays, paid vacation, guaranteed hours, and OT. She has open access to all foods in the pantry/fridge, and is allowed to watch tv while the baby naps. We try to make it home on time and predict we may let her leave early on occasions. Is there anything else we can to to ensure her happiness and comfort.

I'm a nanny and I don't like being told I can leave early. I feel like I am being dismissed by my master. Plus it is hard on the child (obviously not in your case as you have a newborn) not to have a set routine and a consistent way to transition.

Treat your nanny like the professional she is (or you hope she is). If she is experienced in infant care remember that this is your "first time at the rodeo" but not hers. Ask her advice.

I am not crazy about the "you can go now" statements either.

[Anonymous]

What hourly rate are you paying her? Over $20-25/hr. is a good rate for infant care.

[Anonymous]

Ah, our resident rate inflater, posting her outrageous rates, no matter how irrelevant it is to the thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ah, our resident rate inflater, posting her outrageous rates, no matter how irrelevant it is to the thread.

Perhaps, but there is no getting around the fact that a well-paid employee is generally happier than a poorly paid employee in any field.

[Anonymous]

OP here. She is well paid. We pay her asking rate. Thanks for your concern.