S/O Nanny who brings their kids to work

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry to be blunt, OP, but if you are for real, you aren't very wise.

Caring for four children is a big job. Adding your own child in the mix is not good for your charges, your child, or yourself. I find it baffling that your employers would even consider this. Your child will be the youngest, and your child's needs will have a significant impact on the needs and schedule of all the other children. You don't sound like you have any understanding or appreciation of that at all. What is your plan to make bringing your child an advantage to your employer? If you can't answer that, you have not thought this through.

As for your backup plans, you are not qualified to work in Ed policy because you taught for a few years. Good grief.

[Anonymous]

HA!! I knew I would strike a jealous cord. So not only am I terrible person, maybe nanny, and Mom- but I am also not qualified to ever work in my chosen field.
Do not forget to jump on me about the pool dates and play dates!

[Anonymous]

And really, teaching and getting my Masters in Edu does not qualify me to work in central offices focused on teacher retention? Really?? Do you LIVE in DC?

[nannydebsays]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With this many kids nap time is going to important. Since your child is younger, the other children may drop their nap sooner. Make sure that MB agrees that the schedules will respect your child's nap time. This would mean quiet time alone reading for the 2 younger charges and no afternoon activities for the older kids during breaks and summer. They should be able to entertain themselves quietly in their room.

The other thing to consider is whether you are OK watching 3 young children and older kids at a pool? I think you want to agree to no pool time during the summer. The older kids can go with friends but you shouldn't have to take them.

With this many kids, you want to establish a no play date policy. Encourage them to go to play dates at other houses but don't allow any hosting where you have anymore children in the house.

Wow, this is very helpful! Things that I would not have thought of- thanks!

OP, your (apparently) enthusiastic response to the above post was the source of the advice you got about acknowledging that your kid would have to adapt to the nanny kid's schedule, and the challenge on a play date ban.

Some questions for you:

1) When did you last work as a nanny?

2) Have you worked full-time and long-term as a nanny before?

3) How many children did you care for simultaneously as a nanny in the past? How long were those days? How many days a week did you work? How many years ago did you have that job?

In other words, do you have recent current FT nanny experience with 4+ kids? If so, how did you enjoy that job? Can you go back and consider how you would have handled bringing your child to that job?

I'll be completely honest - it sounds like you think this is an easy solution to relieve your stress issues from teaching, and if that's what you think you are REALLY off-base. Bringing your child to work has intrinsic stress factors, trying to nanny FT (50+ hour weeks) is a stressfull, and returning to working as a nanny after time away from the demands of that job will be stressful as well.

Without knowing the dynamics of the family that has asked you to be their nanny, it's virtually impossible to advise you. Do the parents expect you to be "full-charge" or are they looking for someone who will follow directions and established routines? Are they hoping to have you do any household work? If so, what? What hours do they want? Will working those hours allow you to keep a balanced life with your DH and child? Do the older kids need homework help, and if so, how much attention do they need, and can you balance that with 3 kids pre-school age and younger?

[Anonymous]

Yes, really. Yes, I live in DC. Yes, I hire in DC, in exactly the field you think you are qualified for.

I'm not sure what you think I'm jealous of, but your immature posts underline my point.

You are not smart. You are not wise. It is a terrible idea to bring your child to work. Interesting that you didn't actually answer the question I asked. People usually deflect and insult when they are unable to think critically about their issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, and I need some help understanding the responses. What did I say that lead folks to believe I want the kids to be quiet when my DC is sleeping? Or that I wanted to be 'the boss'.
I feel like we are getting off topic and just getting extra words/thoughts in about nannies and their kids in general.

That's how every thread goes around here.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I think OP can request anything of this job because unlike most nannies on this board, this isn't her chosen profession, she doesn't need the job and has a back up education to spring her into different fields if necessary.

She will receive better benefits, work less hours and have more respect as a teacher than the majority of nannies. If the family really wants her than they will agree to any terms, no matter what anyone on this board thinks is reasonable. If they don't like her terms than they can move on and OP can continue being a teacher.

But you see, she wasn't actively seeking for this job, this family sought her out which means they understand the issues that may arise and are willing to work it out.

Just because some of the nannies on here feel they have no say in their position, doesn't mean we don't. I chose the job that works for me and if my employers don't like it then they find someone else. It's really that simple and no one needs to defend themselves for not choosing a job this board thinks is appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think OP can request anything of this job because unlike most nannies on this board, this isn't her chosen profession, she doesn't need the job and has a back up education to spring her into different fields if necessary.

She will receive better benefits, work less hours and have more respect as a teacher than the majority of nannies. If the family really wants her than they will agree to any terms, no matter what anyone on this board thinks is reasonable. If they don't like her terms than they can move on and OP can continue being a teacher.

But you see, she wasn't actively seeking for this job, this family sought her out which means they understand the issues that may arise and are willing to work it out.

Just because some of the nannies on here feel they have no say in their position, doesn't mean we don't. I chose the job that works for me and if my employers don't like it then they find someone else. It's really that simple and no one needs to defend themselves for not choosing a job this board thinks is appropriate.

I agree with this. The attitude around here seems to be "if I'm miserable and have no options, then the same should go for you!" And the employers also want to talk her out of advocating for herself because they don't want to offer such perks, having chosen nannies who bring less to the table.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, really. Yes, I live in DC. Yes, I hire in DC, in exactly the field you think you are qualified for.

I'm not sure what you think I'm jealous of, but your immature posts underline my point.

You are not smart. You are not wise. It is a terrible idea to bring your child to work. Interesting that you didn't actually answer the question I asked. People usually deflect and insult when they are unable to think critically about their issues.

I hope for peace in your heart. It takes two people to argue and I will not argue with you anymore. So bash me, family, and plans. You have no stated experience as a nanny , nanny with a child, or MB. Just chirping in to spread hostile thoughts . So you win my friend . Hugs.

[Anonymous]

I can't even imagine how this family is going to manage the car seat issue, let alone the pool.

Not taking my kids to the pool in the summer would be a deal-breaker for me, BTW. If I'm at work all the time, when do they get to go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the family if inviting her to bring her child then they are responsible for her child. OP can put this as a benefit to the family after all they wouldn't want her her child making their children sick now would they? Its for their benefit not hers as she could easily bring her sick kid into work. Whenever the nanny's child is sick, the family should be paying for the nanny to keep her child home and it shouldn't count against the nanny's vacation or own sick time.

They aren't responsible for anything except her paycheck.

I also don't see why they should be paying for her child's classes - no one says her child has to take the same classes.

I think this job's balancing act would be very difficult. The two older kids would basically never be able to go anywhere except their school - how would she transport five kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the family if inviting her to bring her child then they are responsible for her child. OP can put this as a benefit to the family after all they wouldn't want her her child making their children sick now would they? Its for their benefit not hers as she could easily bring her sick kid into work. Whenever the nanny's child is sick, the family should be paying for the nanny to keep her child home and it shouldn't count against the nanny's vacation or own sick time.

They aren't responsible for anything except her paycheck.

I also don't see why they should be paying for her child's classes - no one says her child has to take the same classes.

I think this job's balancing act would be very difficult. The two older kids would basically never be able to go anywhere except their school - how would she transport five kids?

There are vehicles called SUVs and Mini Vans that can hold 6-8 people. Most children's classes are held during school hours and she mentioned her husband was also a teacher who could pick up their child when he gets out. You make it sound like it's impossible to care for multiple children of different age groups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the family if inviting her to bring her child then they are responsible for her child. OP can put this as a benefit to the family after all they wouldn't want her her child making their children sick now would they? Its for their benefit not hers as she could easily bring her sick kid into work. Whenever the nanny's child is sick, the family should be paying for the nanny to keep her child home and it shouldn't count against the nanny's vacation or own sick time.

They aren't responsible for anything except her paycheck.

I also don't see why they should be paying for her child's classes - no one says her child has to take the same classes.

I think this job's balancing act would be very difficult. The two older kids would basically never be able to go anywhere except their school - how would she transport five kids?

There are vehicles called SUVs and Mini Vans that can hold 6-8 people. Most children's classes are held during school hours and she mentioned her husband was also a teacher who could pick up their child when he gets out. You make it sound like it's impossible to care for multiple children of different age groups.

It's possible if you drop the standards low enough. Answer this: will the older kids have afterschool activities? If yes, how will they get there? What will the younger kids do while the older ones are in their activities?

Basically, the only way I see this working out is this: older kids are out of the house all day or close to it. The preschool-age kid is out of the house all day or close to it. All the nanny has to do for the majority of hours is care for the youngest kid plus her own, which is a very manageable load (and a sweet deal). For after-school time, the older kids will be able to only hang out at home or go on super-easy, super-low key activities like a playground across the street. They'll be fed and safe. That's about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think OP can request anything of this job because unlike most nannies on this board, this isn't her chosen profession, she doesn't need the job and has a back up education to spring her into different fields if necessary.

She will receive better benefits, work less hours and have more respect as a teacher than the majority of nannies. If the family really wants her than they will agree to any terms, no matter what anyone on this board thinks is reasonable. If they don't like her terms than they can move on and OP can continue being a teacher.

But you see, she wasn't actively seeking for this job, this family sought her out which means they understand the issues that may arise and are willing to work it out.

Just because some of the nannies on here feel they have no say in their position, doesn't mean we don't. I chose the job that works for me and if my employers don't like it then they find someone else. It's really that simple and no one needs to defend themselves for not choosing a job this board thinks is appropriate.

I agree with this. The attitude around here seems to be "if I'm miserable and have no options, then the same should go for you!" And the employers also want to talk her out of advocating for herself because they don't want to offer such perks, having chosen nannies who bring less to the table.

And all she has to do to avoid the harsh, unfair, scathing opinions is stop putting her business out in the open. You make it sounds like she's only entitled to positively adoring replies. That's not how the interwebz work.

[Anonymous]

Taking away many of the arguments depending on where you are teaching and the situation, I would not leave a stable job to be a nanny. You are giving up your retirement and other perks for a short term position. Your child will be almost two. At three, it is best to have him in a part-time (even just a few hour two day a week program) a program for socialization, routine and structure. It is easy to get activities with that mix of ages. But, I do not think they family should pay for it. If you have a good job you are happy with, don't like as this is not a long term situation and you may not be able to get back into teaching easily once you leave.